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AIBU?

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Original poster

To send the resignation email and tell her to F off?

120 replies

Needhelpnottodoit · 22/12/2020 21:22

I've name changed for this, just in case (I'm a scaredy cat!)

My manager is fucking ridiculous, micro managing the shit out of the whole team. It's constant streams of emails, texts and phone calls checking where you are, what you're working on, why haven't you finished, why didn't you do this?

It's seriously degrading now, it's like she has no trust in anyone to just do their job!

It's a million times worse since lockdown and people working from home. I haven't been allowed to work from home, apparently I'm not good working at home so have been in the office right the way through!

The whole team are completely on the floor, exhausted and morale is extremely low.

Anyway, I have had to work from home today as I'm isolating and the constant emails questioning what I'm working on have just caused me to snap!

I have drafted a letter of resignation, I haven't sent it but was awfully close to sending. Clearly I wouldn't tell her to fuck off but I've just had enough, I've never slacked off on work or given her a reason to distrust me.

Is it just me though or are all managers this way? Seems I always end up with control freaks! Please tell me AINBU!

OP posts:
nosswith · 23/12/2020 09:35

Get HR involved for her harassment. Even if at some point you have to leave, you may start a process that saves others some of the treatment.

nosswith · 23/12/2020 09:36

Incidentally as you can work from home, when next required to go into the office, refuse and say if there is any further comment the police will be called on her. Which part of 'work from home if you can' does she not understand?

CoronaIsWatching · 23/12/2020 09:45

I think this is common in smaller companies. I'd never work for a small company again.

SilenceIsNoLongerSuspicious · 23/12/2020 09:57

I’ve had some success with feeding one line updates via instant messenger every hour or so. You shouldn’t have to, but sometimes upwardly managing someone like that is the only way to go.

Other options are either overwhelm them (copy them in to everything you do, ask them to confirm things you could decide yourself etc) or do the opposite and completely ignore for half a day or a day then reply in a batch.

You need to decide based on how powerful your manager is (if they’re very senior the hourly one line update option is usually best) and your workplace culture (what’s normal in other teams).

weekfour · 23/12/2020 11:48

My manager is a dick too!
When she constantly asks me what I'm working on I tell her and then ask if she would do it differently. She's always changing priorities, just so she can make a point, and I remind her that she's changed her mind and didn't tell me.
It's ridiculous and petty but if it ever goes further, I have records of every convo and it's her that looks silly.
The key is staying calm.

Thismustbelove · 23/12/2020 12:07

Incidentally as you can work from home, when next required to go into the office, refuse and say if there is any further comment the police will be called on her.

Please do not do this ^^

Meanwhile back in the real world....

Waveysnail · 23/12/2020 12:38

If your going to quit then no harm sending her an email asking why she feels the need to.micromanage

Original poster
Needhelpnottodoit · 23/12/2020 12:42

The trouble is I really love my job and I'm good at it, she makes me question myself so I feel I'm not good enough Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
Needhelpnottodoit · 04/02/2021 21:50

Just thought I would pop by to update!

I applied for a more senior position in a different company on 04.01.2021, interviewed on 20.01 and was offered the job 1 hour later! They loved me, said I was the highlight of the day! Matched my current wage too!

I handed my notice in on 24.01, and now counting the days till I leave on 22.04!

Manager has not said a word to me about me leaving and has been super nice! Feel like she has finally realized but there is nothing that can change my position! I'm going! Yay!

OP posts:
MaxRushden · 04/02/2021 22:27

Well done! 😊

timeisnotaline · 04/02/2021 22:29

Yay!

Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 04/02/2021 22:56

Well done and congratulations. For future reference, I always said to any boss trying to lay more on me, 'What would you like me to stop doing while I do that?' Usually stops them in their tracks

NotaRealLawyer · 04/02/2021 23:22

Oh well done! Onwards and upwards! Flowers

watchingabike · 05/02/2021 00:20

We would welcome this in our team. 4 out of 5 of us work our arses and have to carry the 5th. We beg our line manager to micromanage and expose weaknesses

Andrea87 · 05/02/2021 00:43

well done and I hope you will be very happy in your new job.

BluePeterVag · 05/02/2021 01:03

Result! Flowers

maras2 · 05/02/2021 01:07

Well done.
Best wishes for your new job. Flowers

Taikoo · 05/02/2021 01:11

Nice one. Well done.

She sounds absolutely toxic.

grassisjeweled · 05/02/2021 01:20

Good one 🎊

EmbarrassingAdmissions · 05/02/2021 01:39

Congratulations for managing this so well, OP.

sneakysnoopysniper · 05/02/2021 02:19

Long before there were emails or smart phones I had a manager who micro managed. Everyone had to send him an itemized memo showing exactly what they had done the day before and how much time each task has taken. To play a game with him I made sure that the memo was done withing working hours in the final 30 minutes of the working day. So each list ended, for example.

4.30-5pm - compiling this list.

I made sure that I did not work a minute extra than I was officially paid for.

Didkdt · 05/02/2021 02:54

@watchingabike

We would welcome this in our team. 4 out of 5 of us work our arses and have to carry the 5th. We beg our line manager to micromanage and expose weaknesses
You’ll probably find the manager is too busy to do this. People can only be carried in an environment where everyone else is a hardworker
HangryPants · 05/02/2021 07:32

Congratulations!

NiceTwin · 05/02/2021 07:38

Well done you, a great start to 2021!

Dontjudgeme101 · 05/02/2021 07:59

Good luck in your new job.

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