To send the resignation email and tell her to F off?

[Needhelpnottodoit]

I've name changed for this, just in case (I'm a scaredy cat!)

My manager is fucking ridiculous, micro managing the shit out of the whole team. It's constant streams of emails, texts and phone calls checking where you are, what you're working on, why haven't you finished, why didn't you do this?

It's seriously degrading now, it's like she has no trust in anyone to just do their job!

It's a million times worse since lockdown and people working from home. I haven't been allowed to work from home, apparently I'm not good working at home so have been in the office right the way through!

The whole team are completely on the floor, exhausted and morale is extremely low.

Anyway, I have had to work from home today as I'm isolating and the constant emails questioning what I'm working on have just caused me to snap!

I have drafted a letter of resignation, I haven't sent it but was awfully close to sending. Clearly I wouldn't tell her to fuck off but I've just had enough, I've never slacked off on work or given her a reason to distrust me.

Is it just me though or are all managers this way? Seems I always end up with control freaks! Please tell me AINBU!

No don’t resign. She is just another cog in a wheel same as you. Not the best time to leave and you may be jumping from the frying pan into the fire.
Email her first thing in the morning to tell her that from now on you will update her just before lunch and at end of working day re what you have achieved that day. Thank her for her interest in you and say this way it will be better time management for both of you but that if you need to ask her advice you will be in touch ASAP.
Good
Luck. !

YANBU, I've had one manager like that and it was hideous. It seems to only happen with a manager who is deeply insecure either because of their own lack of ability or because the work is going badly for the team in general. I sympathise though, I wouldn't have thought it would have been as draining and depressing until I actually went through it.

Oh OP I sympathise, we could work for the same team...

I have a handful of micro managing managers who constantly trip up over each other, dont communicate properly and end upmicromanaging you in 4 different ways. This years been shit and the department has been worked to the bone. We get no appreciation, no bonus, hell we didnt even get Christmas cards with a fiver in. Our head if department couldn't even be bothered to turn up to a meeting he organised the other day and didnt send any apologies before going offline. Hes the first to chase you up if somethings not quite right...twat.

I feel the same as you but just hang in there OP secure another job before jumping ship. It's a scary time to be out of a job for now

@NoProblem123

1 - Don’t send any resignation yet 2 - Line up another job ASAP. 3 - Send professional resignation to HR 4 - Spend your notice period sending her emails every 15 minutes with questions that need answers before you can proceed. 5 - Ensure chaos by the time you leave.

I wouldn’t bother fighting for wfh - if they haven’t allowed it by now they’re never going to.
HR are not there for workers EVER so don’t bother with them either.
Union are useful in some circumstances, but this sounds rubbish and if you’ve got other options you should leave.
Bad Managers and crappy work cultures do not deserve good workers.

Even better!

@Bargebill19

Don’t send the email. Get even instead. If she’s so keen on knowing what you are doing, preempt her, send frequent emails giving updates or what ever she routinely asks for. Start by say one an hour and increase the frequent until she gets the message. But only do this is you’ve got some sort of record as to how often and closely she is micro managing you. If she’s emailing or ringing you every ten minutes - log it and do the same back. She will get the message and you can have some fun too.

Oh, I LOVE this idea! It's something that I would have come up with. And when she says you are driving her crazy, "Yes, well..."

Credit to @NoProblem123 !

I wouldn't send the email now OP. Before Civid, it was always better to apply for jobs while in a job; I'd say it's even more important now.

I once had a micro-managing boss like the one you currently have, going into work made me so anxious that my hair started falling out, and I was unconsciously gnashing my teeth. The final straw was when she sent a colleague into the ladies to pull me out to do a job for her 10 seconds after I'd sat down on the loo. I drafted my resignation letter that same day, but was only able to send it 4 months later when I'd secured a new job. The look on her face when I handed in my notice was priceless, she never expected it

It's still the most miserable 15 months professionally I've had in an almost 20 year career, and I really should have left after the first month (at that point, I thought I was the issue).

Keep a tally each day of exactly how much time you waste answering her pointless emails, including factoring in the interruption element, and present it at the end of the day.

Or, every time she asks what you're doing, reply by saying "Well, I was doing XYZ and really needed to get on with it, but unfortunately I have had to interrupt it to answer your email and it will take me a little time to get back into it".

I'm going through the same issue as well op, fortunately it doesn't sound as bad as your situation but I was on the verge of handing in my notice on Monday.

My boss is also a micro-manager who needs to know what I am doing most of the time, she has got worse throughout the pandemic.

A few weeks ago she demanded that we do 'stand-ups' every morning to discuss what we are going to be working on throughout the day. I'd not heard of these before but have since been told they are something that tech and design people do when building websites and products. My role is largely admin so it's generally the same thing every day but now I feel I have to dress it up to make it sound like I'm permanently working as she won't accept downtime. She is also obsessed with being proactive but in our roles it's hard and to be perfectly honest I am so drained from lockdown/working from home/bad news that I just want to get through the pandemic without the added pressure of trying to create more work.

The past 6 weeks or so have really ramped up too, it's almost as though work has become her hobby, she regularly does 12-14 hour days, works weekends, cancels her annual leave and almost permanently seems to be working. I know what she is working on and none of it is urgent and half of it doesn't even need to be done, it's creating work for the sake of it. She does the whole martyr thing too and constantly complains about it to us which in turn makes us all feel as though we should be doing the same or that we aren't doing enough to help her.

I booked last week and this week off but she has been texting me whilst I am on leave to ask if I've done things, she could easily have checked herself as we all have access to the same systems. She's also been messaging me to ask when I'm intending to do things that aren't urgent and can easily wait until I'm due back. This kind of thing is now on another level and I wonder if something has happened mentally as it's almost as though there can't ever be anything outstanding as she won't be able to rest otherwise.

Could the lockdown have affected her in this way? She has barely left her house since March and clearly has some form of health anxiety, she's often critical of me doing things for example going out with friends, meeting with my bf, etc (all when it was within the rules).

My previous manager micromanaged the hell out of everyone. I put up with her for several years. She got worse during the last few years. I told her that her management style did not work for me and then immediately resigned. I didn’t have another job lined up. I would not recommending leaving without another job lined up, but I had had enough. I just wanted out and had been on the verge of resigning for about 18 months.

I chilled out at home with the kids for several months and had plans to eventually start my own business. My gut told me to shelve the business idea for a bit (Brexit, etc), so I started job hunting. I was lucky to secure a new role 2 wks before lockdown.
I’m much happier now. Role is still pressured as the workload is heavy like my previous role, but I no longer have to bat away the constant emails demanding to know what I am doing and the expectation to cover other people’s workloads which in turn led to constant backlog re. my workload. Flexible working inclu. WFH 2-3 times pw (pre-Covid) is encouraged where I am now. Office is a lot closer to home and I can do school runs.

I often think about the fact that she must be harassing the F out of my previous colleagues, whilst they are ‘trying to’ work from home during lockdown.

She won’t leave because her sickness record is bad and will negatively affect her chances of moving on. She didn’t really know how to do what the team did and never mucked in.

I also had a toilet experience. I was 7/8 months pregnant and was on my way to the toilet before leaving the office (my lunch break). Manager suggests we walk out of the office building together. I say fine, I’m just going to quickly use the toilet. I was literally in the toilet for 3-4 mins max. When I went back to my desk to get my coat and bag, she complained that I took too long!

Good luck with the job hunting.

You could micro-manage your manager.

Start each day with an email plan of your working day. Be sure to list every little detail including every (half hour/hour/2hours) however often is slightly longer than normal 'check emails ' 'update MM with progress'

Any email/call from her outside of your plan you say 'Is this necessary, in my daily plan I check emails and update you every (half hour/hour/2hours)?'

The following week your daily plan extends the time between updates, and so-on till they get the idea.

Pre-empt the micro-manager. Drives them wild but gets the point across.

Lots of good advice from PP’s. Once you’ve got another job lined up, is there anyone (HR, more senior manager) whom you could speak to?

If there is, I’d suggest asking to talk about some concerns you have about team morale. Don’t frame it as a criticism, more that you’re concerned about team morale and the effect her management style might have on the company”a performance (I.e. people like you leaving in droves)!

Only if you feel you can do this, obviously.

I forgot that my MM once called me into her office to look at a postcode on an envelope as she was wondering why the person who sent it was in a different location to where they lived when they posted it. That was the level of micro managing she did!

She was always stressed and very cutting when speaking to those who reported to her but when she wasted her time looking at postcodes on envelopes, any sympathy for her supposed busy workload, quickly evaporated.

If you’re already busy and stressed out with your own workload, the last thing you want to be doing is finding ways to micro manage your own Manager!

Could you respond with something like "I'm doing x right now and plan on doing Y and Z later. I'll let you know if there's any problems"

If she carries on asking, just forward you're email and say you are still going to be doing x, y and z.

My boss is the opposite, he doesn't check on people enough. Colleagues are continually making mistakes that impact vulnerable people and our manager says he is checking and he isn't because the mistakes are never rectified. I'm continually astonished that he blatantly lies about doing his job properly when he isn't. I've raised concerns with him on a weekly basis and he just fobs me off. I honestly wish he would supervise people more because they bloody need it.

TrialOfStyle
‘Could you respond with something like "I'm doing x right now and plan on doing Y and Z later. I'll let you know if there's any problems"

If she carries on asking, just forward you're email and say you are still going to be doing x, y and z.’

It takes time to be relentlessly sending emails like that. You could have been even more productive that day/week/month/year if you didn’t have to constantly read and respond to emails explaining what you are doing to a Manager who should supposedly know exactly what your job entails, how it should be done and how long it should take.

I could have written this, I resigned on Monday,

Resigning without a job to go to may seem like it resolves the issue of stress but in the long term it will make it worse. I'd sound off here and then consider escalating her behaviour to her line manager, or speaking to her about it and urging others to do the same.

If you're feeling overwhelmed I would consider speaking to your GP and getting signed off due to stress, you sound like you need a break to regroup OP.

I would be reporting her to senior management/HR with examples she sounds like she needs to be told to back off

I would go to HR and state you do not feel supported in the work place and her border line harassment in the form of micromanagement is now beginning to impact your mental health and ability to conduct this role efficiently. This is why you always sign to a union though.

Are you public sector?

Are you the only employee who has experienced this or could a joint complaint to HR be submitted?

I had a boss (client) that wanted an email for EVERY change of code I made (network and firewall)

I listed every change in a spreadsheet then extracted each one into a separate email, then sent them to him on a Friday evening.

All 5000 of them.

OP, time to find a new job/boss.

I had this. I set a policy that I would check my e-mails twice a day, morning and noon due to it being proven to be more effective / productive.

I think this is probably the path of least resistance and it will give you some breathing space. I've noticed some people explain their policy in their email footer which is helpful too.

I really feel for you. I've been miserable at work for months, and I have handed my notice in with nothing else lined up.

Do a lot of these managers not have enough of their own stuff to do? It sounds as though there is a superfluous tier of middle managers in some companies who don't have any actual work to do and just fuss over the people doing the work. Is there a tier above these people you can point this out to