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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

do your kids get the same at Christmas?

81 replies

grannyinapram · 22/12/2020 12:21

we just counted all the presents and daughter has 5 more than son to open but son has a big set with three toys in one.
I remember being a kid, we used to take turns opening so if someone has more, we knew.

I don't know what to do, buy 5 more little gifts so he opens the same? seems wasteful but I don't want him to think his sister has been better behaved and santa gave her more
wwyd?

OP posts:
RandomMess · 22/12/2020 12:21

How old are they?

ree348 · 22/12/2020 12:23

We give the same quantity, but mine are 4.5 and 3 years old.

Original poster
grannyinapram · 22/12/2020 12:23

oh sorry, 7 and 6.
however 2 if her presents are clothes and a coat
he had hand me down clothes given to him by his uncle a few weeks ago so didn't need more

OP posts:
Original poster
grannyinapram · 22/12/2020 12:24

he is bringing up being good and getting coal every day so I'm worried he will read into it. but I obviously can't ask him if he'd be okay with it 🤷

OP posts:
Nowaynothappening · 22/12/2020 12:25

I’ve never really thought about it tbh. They have a similar amount spent on them so doesn’t really matter about the quantity. Obviously noticeable if one has two gifts and the other has 50. A difference of 5 is nothing to lose sleep over, I wouldn’t buy presents for the sake of it.

Original poster
grannyinapram · 22/12/2020 12:25

oh, we go round and watch everyone open still so I don't want him feeling left out

OP posts:
Original poster
grannyinapram · 22/12/2020 12:26

including stocking fillers daughter has 15 and son has 10 so she has a third more than he has

OP posts:
Soubriquet · 22/12/2020 12:26

They don’t have exactly the same amount no

It’s usually around the same sort of value.

It may look like one has gotten more than the other, but we explain that some things cost more

Original poster
grannyinapram · 22/12/2020 12:26

thats too big of a gap isn't it?

OP posts:
ivfbeenbusy · 22/12/2020 12:28

Sometimes it's a good lesson for kids to learn - that not everything in life is equitable not should it be? He doesn't need/want a couple more cheap/wasteful toys just to make up the numbers. Just because someone has "more" doesn't mean the value is more

Boulshired · 22/12/2020 12:29

When they were small I would even up with small inexpensive items, sometime stuff I had already bought. The same small age difference, it was about mid primary that I introduced sometimes it’s quality not quantity.

FiveToFour · 22/12/2020 12:30

This is partly why I hate the whole Santa brings you presents if you are good thing.
Have you spent equally?
Though tbh if he is six and you open one present at a time together you might be need to add a few more small things to balance - unless you think he would be happy with " well,this is one box but three presents,see?" for the 3 toys in 1 box set?

wendz86 · 22/12/2020 12:32

Mine have the same amount of presents but eldests cost more in total.

Twobrews · 22/12/2020 12:32

If you think it will be an issue rather than buy extras couldn't you just wrap a few of your daughters gifts together.

Mine don't have exactly the same or get the same amounts spent on them. We don't open FC presents ceremoniously though, it's a mass unwrap peppered with excited exclamations.

TeenPlusTwenties · 22/12/2020 12:33

Remove the coat & clothes and just produce them separately.

Fudge the opening - e.g. give DD two in one go 'because they're small' or whatever.

FedUpOfAllThis · 22/12/2020 12:36

Nope my kids have never got the same. I have teenagers plus a 10 year old and my older kids stuff costs more so to make their presents up to the numbers my youngest gets would cost me a fortune. They always have an amazing Christmas and have always been very happy with what they get so I’m happy.

RandomMess · 22/12/2020 12:41

I would maybe get 2 more items such as pants or socks or gloves, make sure your daughter unwraps first then an adult so that will also "lose one"

Time to tell them about the value of money and how you have to send Santa the money and some things cost for than others...

00100001 · 22/12/2020 12:46

Maybe just don't give DD the clothes for Christmas?

That's 2 fewer then easily enough.

CeeceeBloomingdale · 22/12/2020 12:48

They get the same value of gifts but not necessarily the same quantity. It wouldn’t look obvious to them though.

00100001 · 22/12/2020 12:48

And the remaining 3, can they either share them,or you just not give them to DD?

As for stockings, bung a few extra sweets/chocolate in DSs, or move a couple over to his stocking (as they're very close in age, surely they have similar fillers?) ? And then sweet treats in both if you really feel the need to pad them out a bit

TheTrashBagIsOursCmonTrashBag · 22/12/2020 12:49

Wrap stuff together for your daughter and split the set your son is getting? Better than buying stuff for the sake of it. Not being a Scrooge btw but I’ve been caught out myself just bought stuff for the hell of it and it was a waste.

BorderlineHappy · 22/12/2020 12:50

We normally spend the same.This year 13 year old started secondary so he has a laptop
11 year olds birthday is today so he got his big present today
So. He has small presents for Xmas day. 9 year old seems like he got the most,but he's just picked loads of little presents.

If it was me,I wouldn't give your daughter the clothes for Christmas.

00100001 · 22/12/2020 12:50

@Twobrews

If you think it will be an issue rather than buy extras couldn't you just wrap a few of your daughters gifts together.

Mine don't have exactly the same or get the same amounts spent on them. We don't open FC presents ceremoniously though, it's a mass unwrap peppered with excited exclamations.

Yep, put the two clothes into one present.
CeeceeBloomingdale · 22/12/2020 12:50

Just read your update. You need to either allow them to open them at the same time so it’s not noticed or make them equal, probably by removing the clothes and a couple of stocking fillers.

Lookslikerainted · 22/12/2020 12:52

We don’t give the same quantum, I give them what they think they will like. We don’t do it a present at a time so no one notices and they all get good presents and are happy with what they get. Equal isn’t always exactly the same.

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