Or is my boyfriend a miserable ......?

[pollyputthekettleonn]

There is me and my boyfriend and 5 year son for Xmas.
He is so tight.
Xmas eve I look to do a buffet for us (normally a few family too but not this year )
Anyway I went to Tesco yesterday and spent £40 on nibbles and party food.
The day before M&S and spent £40 too but that includes food for Xmas day /Boxing Day.
Altogether for us for Xmas including turkey /sweets etc £100 (give or take a few pound)
Came home excited to show him and he just said
"What did you buy that for?"
I replied for Christmas
"Well why all we need is a ham sandwich "
I say it's Christmas and I enjoy our little buffet
He said "well all that's for you too,not me"
I said "why? You like those things don't you"
He said "yes but I don't want them"
I said "ok well what do you want?"
He said "a ham sandwich"
So I got a bit annoyed and said "well you sit there Xmas eve with your ham sandwich and we will eat what we want"
Bare in mind he hasn't paid for a thing,it's my money that bought the lot,he has money but he hates spending it.
Aibu to think he's a miserable sod?
Oh and in M&S you get 3 packs of meats for £7 and he goes "why not just get 1 pack"
1 pack of ham for 3 of us for all over Christmas !!!!

He means the ham sandwich for teas not Xmas lunch ..for Xmas lunch he likes a Christmas lunch

Assuming he is not a low income, YANBU.

Oh well, all the more for you.

Is your child his? Has he contributed to the presents this year?

He's not,well about £2000 a month but obviously our bills are split.
He has always been tight,even sharing the cost of a takeaway when we first met to the last penny.
It just drives me mad as Christmas for me has always been the time of year when you treat yourself.

@Neverbeme yeah it's both our child.
He has contributed for presents 50/50
I do get the "do we really need to buy that"
For most presents tho.

I don't think he's being miserable. If he doesn't want a buffet and is happy with a ham sandwich then I see nothing wrong with that. He isn't stopping you and your son from enjoying the buffet.

It will be interesting to see if he sticks to just the ham sandwich on Xmas Eve. Enjoy your lovely buffet op

It's not that he stops me but he will be rolling his eyes as I make it and coming out with "did you really need that much"
And god forbid I leave a sausage roll so he can say
"Told you,you wouldn't eat it all"

@OwlinaTree oh he won't,I will walk in the kitchen and he will be a stuffing a mini pie in as usual

Yeah he sounds like a misarable hit. Enjoy your buffet OP, sounds lush!

Miserable git, obvs

He does sound miserable.

I mean if he didn't fancy the stuff he could have just made a sandwich in the day and kept his mouth shut.

Honestly it sounds a bit attention seeking to me. Most people who have dietary requirements just quietly get on with it leaving what they cant or don't want to eat and possibly just sorting themselves out quietly.

Sounds like he's deliberately trying to control the day, making sure you know he doesn't "approve " and that he's gonna be putting a downer on the whole thing

Maybe he is a miserable sod but I kind of understand. I'm not that interested in food and prefer to save my money for bigger items, paying off house, no loans etc. as it minimizes stress for me and I prefer that feeling to instant gratification. I personally like Xmas but not for the food. However It's your money to spent as you like and if you want a lovely Xmas spread then why not.....but if you want him to share the costs you have to find a way to meet in the middle.

This is him, he isn't going to improve with this. You either live with arguing about what you spend of your money on what, or move on and relax and leave him with his ham sandwich in miserly bliss.

It's not that he stops me but he will be rolling his eyes as I make it and coming out with "did you really need that much"

I wouldn't be happy with that. Not wanting a buffet is one thing, and I don't think he's miserable for only wanting a sandwich. But passive aggressive comments and eye rolls about what you're eating isn't acceptable.

Tightness is such an unattractive quality. I don’t think I’d have gone on another date after the “sharing the cost of a takeaway” one.

It’s not you, he’s miserable! Try to ignore him and his sandwich and enjoy your Christmas.

[quote pollyputthekettleonn]@OwlinaTree oh he won't,I will walk in the kitchen and he will be a stuffing a mini pie in as usual [/quote]
Then he needs to contribute, surely? For this and his Christmas lunch? Why should you bare the cost?

Tightness is such an unattractive quality. I don’t think I’d have gone on another date after the “sharing the cost of a takeaway” one same here, what a put off

He sounds miserable.

Why are you with him?

I dont think that sharing the cost of a takeaway on the first date is a bad thing. I mean it eliminates the whole " he paid for dinner whatbdoes he expects in return" thing.

But scrabbling about with pennies is definitely OTT. I mean you both shove a few quid in depending on what you have theb take turns buying the rounds.

I'd get rid op because he's a financially controlling arse hole. Men like this don't get any better and as your ds gets older, your dp will resent you spending money on your son. This is how it always works out and if you ever get married to him then unless you name your son in your will, your dp will inherit everything. Don't think he'll leave anything for your son, get rid of him as your ds comes first and men come and go.

If he only wants a sandwich on Xmas eve then thats fine but I'm surprised he can know in advance what he might fancy to eat on a certain day.
The comments were unnecessary and yes he sounds miserable, he could have sorted himself a ham sandwich on the day without making you feel uncomfortable about what you like to do.
For me though, the issue here isn't his comments about a buffet but his attitude on the whole, I couldn't tolerate this tightness and outlook on things.