Or is my boyfriend a miserable ......?

[pollyputthekettleonn]

There is me and my boyfriend and 5 year son for Xmas.
He is so tight.
Xmas eve I look to do a buffet for us (normally a few family too but not this year )
Anyway I went to Tesco yesterday and spent £40 on nibbles and party food.
The day before M&S and spent £40 too but that includes food for Xmas day /Boxing Day.
Altogether for us for Xmas including turkey /sweets etc £100 (give or take a few pound)
Came home excited to show him and he just said
"What did you buy that for?"
I replied for Christmas
"Well why all we need is a ham sandwich "
I say it's Christmas and I enjoy our little buffet
He said "well all that's for you too,not me"
I said "why? You like those things don't you"
He said "yes but I don't want them"
I said "ok well what do you want?"
He said "a ham sandwich"
So I got a bit annoyed and said "well you sit there Xmas eve with your ham sandwich and we will eat what we want"
Bare in mind he hasn't paid for a thing,it's my money that bought the lot,he has money but he hates spending it.
Aibu to think he's a miserable sod?
Oh and in M&S you get 3 packs of meats for £7 and he goes "why not just get 1 pack"
1 pack of ham for 3 of us for all over Christmas !!!!

@LuckyAmy1986

Tightness is such an unattractive quality. I don’t think I’d have gone on another date after the “sharing the cost of a takeaway” one same here, what a put off

Yes, OP you had a good indication of the future with TightArse there.

He sounds awful - does he have any redeeming qualities? Does he often "rain on your parade"?

I loathe mean-spirited people and avoid them at all cost.

Tight with money, tight with love. I hope he is a fantastic shag to make up for it.

Also hope you’re still working and looking after your own financial future, because this is the sort of man who will willingly leave you high and dry.

God that would fucking wear me down. Being mithered over buying Xmas food and not finishing a sausage roll.

He's telling you he won't be eating it so you can't ask him to contribute any money isn't he? I wouldn't be letting him near any of it op. Leave him to his ham sandwich.

He reminds me of a very tight guy I dated years ago. One night I invited him over for a takeaway and he said “oh actually I’ve got loads of food in so I’ll bring something instead”.
Then later in the evening he asked me when I was going to order my takeaway Turned out he’d just brought enough food for himself and expected me to sort myself out. The final straw was him reheating his stinky fish pie in my microwave

Well you seem totally happy with this set up so not sure why you posted?

@FizzyPink

He reminds me of a very tight guy I dated years ago. One night I invited him over for a takeaway and he said “oh actually I’ve got loads of food in so I’ll bring something instead”. Then later in the evening he asked me when I was going to order my takeaway Turned out he’d just brought enough food for himself and expected me to sort myself out. The final straw was him reheating his stinky fish pie in my microwave

That's the most miserly thing I've ever heard.

@pollyputthekettleonn

He's not,well about £2000 a month but obviously our bills are split. He has always been tight,even sharing the cost of a takeaway when we first met to the last penny. It just drives me mad as Christmas for me has always been the time of year when you treat yourself.

The clue to your future was in the financial behaviour over the takeaway. You can hardly be surprised at what he’s like now.

He sounds incredibly unattractive

Obvs he is a tight miserable git, buy you knew that right from the start when he’d asked to split takeaway cost to the last penny when you started dating.

Yes, he is a misery. But you know that already. Nothing worse than a mean or mean spirited man. You can do better OP.

Really couldn’t be doing with someone who is financially secure but a tightwad. Would just be so, so tedious.

Mean spirited and miserable and by the way.. he's putting you in the wrong. He should be sharing half of the Christmas costs. He's like the one in a group restaurant meal who say all the way through that they are not drinking or eating but quietly down a bottle and eat plenty and when the bill comes insist that they don't need to split it equally because they've had less.
You have dealt with this by saying well its my money so I will buy what I want. And you have to save up for this. Which means that he knows he won't have to pay out for any celebrations or things that are important to you. (especially trying to make Christmas more of a celebration for your child) You know he's going to eat what you've bought too, but is eye rolling and complaining about it. This could be a fight you'd have every time you wanted to pay for a school trip for your child or his birthday parties at primary etc.
If the tables were turned wouldn't he demand money back for what you ate? It sounds from your description that he would.

Put out 2 slices of bread and some ham for him and as soon as the miserable bastard goes near so much as one sausage roll tell him you havent catered for.him for the buffet cos he only wanted a ham sandwich

Lol...I think I would wrap a ham sandwich in a pretty box and give it to him on Xmas eve. Then I’d make a point to not let him have any of your nibbles until he concedes he’d been a tight bastard. Once he does and shares your goodies...make sure you keep a running tally and present him with an itemized bill for what he ate.

All with a smile on your face of course
What a nob... I’m going to assume he has good qualities that overshadow this one, but this would honestly get on my last nerve.

Not just a miserable bastard, but controlling and over-critical to boot.. Turn your little celebration into a party for you and DC. Put a note saying 'by invitation only' on the door. He will only learn not to behave like this if he suffers some consequences - make sure he does.

I agree that he sounds a bit mean and joyless.

On the other hand, £40 sounds a lot to spend on party food and nibbles for just two adults and a 5 year old and the can understand that he might think it's a bit pointless for the just the three of them.

I'd have left him at the penny pinching over a take away when you first met to be honest