Don’t think I’m even getting a Christmas Card

[LondonMiss]

Even though I have known my partner for a long time, this is our first official Christmas together. I know the world is crazy right now and this is a 3rd world problem.
I get the feeling I will be lucky at card and really don’t know how I’m going to hold the emotions back, I was going to spend the day with him but as he’s said no presents and he "doesn't do cards" oh and no decorations and he’s not interested in dinner, if I’m honest he will probably just be drinking all day.
I have asked my mum if I could still go to them and she was very excited.
I don’t know how I’m going not cry when people ask what he got me, I guess what upsets me even more is that money is no object if he was broke or out of work ect I would totally understand.
Do I return the gifts I have bought?

Well he's been upfront about it so that's what he is going to do. How is he in other ways?

Yep. Return the gifts. Return the boyfriend to wherever you found him and go back to living a life where you are surrounded by people like you’re who are excited to see you and show you they love you.

People like your mum

You are with the selfish oaf why? Return your gifts for him. Look in the mirror and tell yourself you deserve better.
That isn’t partnership.

Return the gifts and dump him now while it’s still early days. Please don’t end up one of the many trapped and miserable women on here

YABU not to dump his sorry arse

Do you really want to be with someone with so little regards to your feelings?

What the fuck? Return the gifts and dump him.

This is your first Xmas together, you are in your honeymoon period, so this is most likely the most effort he will ever make for you. Ever. Are you happy to accept that future for yourself?

Send them back.

We did say no gifts as we generally buy what we need but I would love a little something. Right his gifts are going back!

Send him back too op. He's broken.

LTB. But also it's a 1st world problem not 3rd world. But most importantly don't waste your life with this joyless twat x

Re: drinking all day—is this a common occurrence or is he planning to do it particularly as a holiday indulgence?

Why did you agree no gifts with him if you wanted a gift?

Why would you be with someone who doesnt share you view of life/Christmas? Genuine question.

Do you really want to be with someone who will just drink all day at Christmas?

Don’t give him your presents.... you will feel awful. Even though you don’t give to receive it’s somehow subservient to give presents to someone knowing they don’t care enough to buy a present in return.

My a

Does he normally drink all day? And who doesn't like dinner? He sounds pretty miserable OP.

Me and DP agreed no presents. We have still got each other little tokens which just show we appreciate each other. No big extravagant gifts, just a small something.
I get agreeing to no presents; for us it was about money, we needed to sort the DCs first and we have.
Drinking all day is a huge issue. Its my birthday Xmas day and I love a few glasses of fizz, but not at the expense of everyone else's enjoyment.

Did you tell him you like to do presents/dinner/decorations and not drink all day?

Surely you don't want to waste your life on such a joyless man. You're worth more than that op.

Return the presents, dump the man and enjoy Xmas with your mum before finding someone new and lovely in the new year xx

What @elsieloise13 says

You've not communicated your expectations and wishes and have agreed something. Now your posting on the internet inviting people to slag off your chap.
It's childish and unkind.
If you've changed your mind tell him. Don't blame someone for not being a mind reader and do your share of a relationship which is talking to your partner before the internet.

Send him back never mind the gifts.

DH 'doesnt do cards'. We actually have a tradition on birthdays that we get each other a card that's for anything but birthdays because the one time he tried, he ended up getting me an anniversary card for my birthday and having to scribble out anniversary 🤦‍♀️

But he'd always get me a gift or just something. It's about making the effort for the other person and just showing you care.

Return the gifts and contemplate if this how you want all your Christmas’ to be. This is who he is and he’s not going to change which is fine for him but what about you?