Don’t think I’m even getting a Christmas Card

[LondonMiss]

Even though I have known my partner for a long time, this is our first official Christmas together. I know the world is crazy right now and this is a 3rd world problem.
I get the feeling I will be lucky at card and really don’t know how I’m going to hold the emotions back, I was going to spend the day with him but as he’s said no presents and he "doesn't do cards" oh and no decorations and he’s not interested in dinner, if I’m honest he will probably just be drinking all day.
I have asked my mum if I could still go to them and she was very excited.
I don’t know how I’m going not cry when people ask what he got me, I guess what upsets me even more is that money is no object if he was broke or out of work ect I would totally understand.
Do I return the gifts I have bought?

Me and Dh said no big gifts, but both of us will always get something small and thoughtful, plus we'll put a lot of effort into making the day lovely.

There's one thing saying no big pressies, but that doesn't matter that you don't put the effort in

We barely do gifts, they get worse every year, but it’s mutual- and we made a massive fuss of each other on our first few xmases.

Do you think you’re well matched? I adore Christmas, my partner does not. He always gets me something though- even if it’s only little, it’s always thoughtful.

He's not for you. Sorry.

We're not gifts or card givers often for each other ( DC get loads). It is by arrangement . I generally hate recieving gifts ( I post lots on Mumsnet about not liking it- or the waste). For me my DH not giving me gifts etc feels like me being listened to ( Christmas frequently caused me stress growing up- family arguments etc). DH is exceptionally generous and kind natured.
I would be worried about the all day drinking you mention though ( unless very rare with time off either side). Have you tried to find out why he is like this with Christmas?

@20mum
Your post was spot on

@yoyo1234 yer he hates Christmas because his ex and his mum used to have full on family rows every year

well, I do understand why he hates it then. But buying gifts isn't just about getting things you want, it is buying something you like, to say I love you. Even ifthat is just your favourite chocs.

I would be leaving him, because this is about his generla attitude to you, not just Christmas.I wouldn't wnat to be with someone who just wants to get drunk and doesn't even want to share a meal together