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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I am and I don’t care

121 replies

Sexnotgender · 20/12/2020 17:46

I know I’m being unreasonable but I’m so fucked off.

I’m 6 months pregnant and have been ill and just wanted a little time to myself after Christmas and now the fucking nursery is shut.

I know so many people are worse off but I was so looking forward to a week for me.

Fuck fuck fuck it all.

OP posts:

bananamonkey · 21/12/2020 09:49

YANBU, the first lockdown was my first week of maternity leave at 37 weeks and I’d been looking forward to it for so long as I was knackered and wanted a little time to myself and some time to do jobs round the house before the baby came. Then nursery closed and we couldn’t go anywhere except the park everyday, it sucked and at least we had the nice weather then. I feel for you.

Everyone’s allowed a little moan at some point, no matter what the circumstances.

Coriandersucks · 21/12/2020 09:52

@CorianderBlues I’m guessing you don’t have kids and perhaps are desperate for them - which is shit, I get it. But this isn’t the thread for you to declare how lucky people are to have children and how grateful they should feel.

It’s impossible to explain the overwhelming feeling of love, exhaustion and relentlessness young children can bring and there is nothing wrong with wanting a bit of time to yourself.

Op is fully entitled to be pissed off, just as I am fully entitled to be scared about our nurseries closing in the next couple of weeks because if they do, me and dp will lose our jobs, then we will lose our house but that’s another story.

However I also want them to stay open next week when I’m not working so I can have two whole days to myself which I haven’t had for over a year and I can’t wait.

Original poster

Sexnotgender · 21/12/2020 09:52

Everyone’s allowed a little moan at some point, no matter what the circumstances.

Nah, apparently I’m not according to some.

You should have been grateful for the extra time you got to spend with your oldest. No moaning allowed for you either!

OP posts:

ForestNymph · 21/12/2020 09:55

CorianderBlues oh get over yourself. It sucks that some people can't have kids but that doesn't mean anyone who does have them can't ever moan about it being hard or them being tired. That mentality is stupid - technically no one can moan about anything because there's always someone worse off.

RenegadeMrs · 21/12/2020 10:02

CorianderBlues

Yeah, sorry but your are acting out your (persumably your) pain on an annonomous forum on the Internet and being a bit mizzy yourself.

I've been there - both my kids were ivf. But your argument works both ways. This is called mumsnet, not trying to be a mums net and she didn't post on the infertility boards. Its not like you didn't know that people who already have kids will be here talking about their issues.

Hopefully one day you will be pregnant.

Original poster

Sexnotgender · 21/12/2020 10:03

That mentality is stupid - technically no one can moan about anything because there's always someone worse off.

Parking dispute? Can’t post about that, you should be grateful you’ve got a car!

MIL being a dick? Can’t post about that, you and grateful you’ve got a MIL!

Husband not pulling his weight? You should be grateful you’ve got a husband so no moaning for you either 😂

OP posts:

RogueV · 21/12/2020 10:05

YANBU

moita · 21/12/2020 10:07

And parenting is bloody hard. It's fine for mothers to need a break! How many horror stories are there of women who have no support and end up killing themselves and their children.

We need safe spaces where women can say they're struggling and not be called selfish.

SueEllenMishke · 21/12/2020 10:21

No, just maybe think about it before you moan about on on a site where some people are DESPERATE to have kids, would give anything to be able to concieve, and there's this woman wanting to give them up for a week so she can sit and read a book all day or have a bath in peace?

Even if you don't have children and are desperate to have them surely you can understand that it's exhausting and overwhelming at times and sometimes you just need a break.
It's doesn't make you selfish, it doesn't make you a bad parent and it doesn't mean we don't love our children and aren't so very grateful for them. it just means you're a normal person.

You're complaining the the OP had no consideration for those desperate to have children but you're just as bad. Making a pregnant woman feel bad because she's exhausted and wants a rest is not a nice thing to do.

RandomUser18282 · 21/12/2020 10:36

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Original poster

Sexnotgender · 21/12/2020 11:36

@Handsoffstrikesagain

corianderblues genuine question - do you think that mums should spend every second of every day with their children? What about dads? Where would the time for work be? Or is it only mums that should become martyrs? I would love your thoughts on this.

Indeed.

Mental health is a massive issue in this country. But no, you can’t want a break. You should only ever be GRATEFUL you’ve got children.

I’m not one dimensional. I’m able to be beyond grateful I’ve got beautiful healthy children AND need a break. These are not mutually exclusive concepts.

Apparently it makes me a cunt. That’s not very kind is it?

OP posts:

ForestNymph · 21/12/2020 11:48

Oooh yeah dads are never expected to never have any free time and spend every second with their child and be grateful that they can't even get a second to think. Its always women.

Thats something that really irritates me, people telling me how lucky I am to have a DH that "helps me with the kids" as if the kids are my sole responsibility and DH is going above and beyond by caring for his own children. Sexism is brilliant eh.

ImPrincessAurora · 21/12/2020 16:10

Well this thread took a turn!

I wanted to report back that I successfully dropped my angel at nursery this morning but it is closing on Wednesday with an update promised before Monday 4th January. Shit.

Just for those that find this information important, I also have an older DC at home, so I’m not lounging around the house taking long baths and reading Mills & Boons, while eating milk tray delivered by my DH in a black suit holding a rose between his teeth.

ATieLikeRichardGere · 21/12/2020 16:13

What a vision.

An update before 4th Jan. That’s a bit vague. I don’t think my nerves will hold out that long. Thanks for sharing. Hope you’re ok.

ImPrincessAurora · 21/12/2020 16:22

@ATieLikeRichardGere

I think it’s the first working day after new year? My older DC is supposed to be back at school on 5 Jan (England) so I guess they are looking to update before then.

Original poster

Sexnotgender · 21/12/2020 16:22

Well this thread took a turn!

It certainly did😂

Thanks for the update, are you in Scotland?

OP posts:

Original poster

Sexnotgender · 21/12/2020 16:23

Ah not Scotland. Just seen your next post.

OP posts:

ImPrincessAurora · 21/12/2020 16:30

No not Scotland but a Tier 4 area of England that’s a breading ground for the new strain. Used to be known as London. I think they are referring to it as the coronavirus cesspit now.

Original poster

Sexnotgender · 22/12/2020 12:00

Scottish guidance is out.

www.gov.scot/publications/coronavirus-covid-19-childcare-provision-from-26-december-to-18-january/

OP posts:

confuddledroz · 22/12/2020 13:03

[quote Sexnotgender]Scottish guidance is out.

www.gov.scot/publications/coronavirus-covid-19-childcare-provision-from-26-december-to-18-january/[/quote]
shit

Original poster

Sexnotgender · 22/12/2020 13:29

Yep. It’s a raging pile of shit.

Not entirely sure what I’m meant to do with my toddler whilst I work?

OP posts:

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