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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is anyone applying actual LOGIC to Christmas or just blindly following covid rules??

289 replies

Christmasisallaroundus · 19/12/2020 22:17

I’m not changing my Christmas plans. I’m due to go to my parents 50 mins drive away. Myself & DH WFH full time. No DC. We’ve been isolating for 2 weeks in advance of Christmas. We are getting private covid tests on 21st - waiting for presumably negative results on 23rd then will travel home. Parents also not working and have been isolating pretty much since March. Will be home 24th-27th. No plans to leave the house. Then straight back to our house to isolate again for the foreseeable as no plans to see anyone.

Why would we change our plans and not go just because ‘it’s against the rules’. I don’t understand those saying they can’t go how due to rules changing.

If you are working out and about you shouldn’t have been mixing in the 1st place as you’re higher risk! Why are the rules influencing what you do - surely you should be using common sense!

OP posts:
Emeraldeyes20 · 19/12/2020 23:08

And where does this logic stop ? What you may deem reasonable may have a wide variation for others! Why are you above the rules? The reason we are in this mess is because people couldn’t stay away from each other in the first place ! I worry about my husband a Dr putting his life at risk because others had self entitled attitudes 😐

SlothWithACloth · 19/12/2020 23:08

Well we’ve all had covid so I think now would be a good time to see my mum who I haven’t seen since schools started. As well as having covid, we’ve been isolating for the past 3 weeks.
We won’t get this opportunity again once the Dcs are back at school. It makes total sense to me to go and see my mum this next week.

Throckmorton · 19/12/2020 23:09

Yes I'm using logic, which is why I wasn't planning on going anywhere or seeing anyone at Christmas anyway, because it's bloody obvious how desperate things are and that the government measures are too little too late. Are you aware that 1/3rd of transmission is from people who are asymptomatic? The last thing we need right now is idiots spreading the new strain around the country.

bluebird3 · 19/12/2020 23:10

If you are driving then there is the risk you will be in a car accident and put unnecessary stress on the NHS and possibly the icu. It's unlikely but you can't say you aren't risking anything.

pollylocketpickedapocket · 19/12/2020 23:11

I agree with you op. I’m pretty new to Mumsnet but I’ve heard the most outrageous announcements that the government are inept, murderers, thick etc.
I’m certainly no Tory but this robotic following of “the rules” for a predominantly left wing audience is absolutely baffling to me.

LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 19/12/2020 23:13

Bully for you OP, you are in a position to be able to self isolate and preach to the rest of us about it. Bravo!

No not blindly following the rules as we aren't seeing anyone. I don't want to mix with people taking risks.

JaneTheVirgin · 19/12/2020 23:15

If you are working out and about you shouldn’t have been mixing in the 1st place as you’re higher risk!

ODFOD. So despite working throughout this pandemic in the NHS intubating covid positive patients while you have the privilege of sitting at home all day I'M the one who shouldn't be allowed to leave my house?

CatholicKidston · 19/12/2020 23:15

I didn't know Dominic Cummings used mumsnet!

PaddingtonsHat · 19/12/2020 23:16

[quote Christmasisallaroundus]@Watermelon888 believe it or not I didn’t choose the career Ive had for the last 10 years with covid in mind. It’s not my fault my job is done at home easily and that my parents are retired!

People have their jobs and for some this makes them risky to covid and others not.

Obviously if I’d been a nurse and my parents were still working I wouldn’t be going home.[/quote]
Pretty sure healthcare workers didn’t choose their careers with COVID in mind either.
Lacking empathy and ‘the rules don’t apply to me’ is what got us in this mess in the first place

ChestnutStuffing · 19/12/2020 23:16

OP, I agree that your plan isn't risky at all, and I think you should go ahead with it.

You are wrong to say others who were going to do things that were higher risk, when it was allowable to do so, were wrong. Nothing is zero risk. Government is setting rules generally within what they think is an acceptable level of risk for the population under the circumstances. People don't need to think how they can be 100% safe because that situation doesn't exist.

It's not up to you to decide what the acceptable level of risk is for others.

SansaSnark · 19/12/2020 23:18

You're obviously in a very privileged position to be able to do those things, so coming on to sneer about others "not being safe" isn't really that cool.

The more people break the rules, the more others will feel justified in doing so. They won't necessarily know your unique circumstances, they'll just think "if my neighbour is doing it"...

FleeceNavidadToEwe · 19/12/2020 23:19

Why do you think you are above the law/rules @Christmasisallaroundus?

cbt944 · 19/12/2020 23:19

@CatholicKidston

I didn't know Dominic Cummings used mumsnet!
Xmas Grin
Original poster
Christmasisallaroundus · 19/12/2020 23:19

A lot of people replying here who seem to be confused.

I’m sorry if you work in job where it’s not safe for you to mix. But if that’s your reality you should be making Christmas plans accordingly.

Again it’s not fair but that’s how it is this year. I just can’t get over the numbers of people here who were quite happily going off and mixing until the government told them they couldn’t - even if they are working in risky areas. And on the converse side people like me who can go home safely now cancelling because of the rules.

If it makes you feel better to rant at me because you’re not in my position then by all means go ahead. My post was about the following of the rules instead of thinking logically about your situation and risk level.

@JaneTheVirgin yes if you’re risky you shouldn’t leave your house and mix over Christmas as you can spread covid. From sitting in my house with my DH 24/7 not seeing anyone I am in a safer position to mix. I’m sorry you are having a difficult time but unfortunately that’s just how it is.

OP posts:
Watermelon888 · 19/12/2020 23:20

Nothing is 100% safe, what if you have a medical emergency or your car breaks down etc etc.

You have made things as safe as you could.

It was the complete disregard for the people who are putting themselves and their families at risk on your behalf to deliver your food and presents etc that made you unreasonable. It would have been better to say nothing.

Ginger1982 · 19/12/2020 23:21

@Christmasisallaroundus

A lot of people replying here who seem to be confused.

I’m sorry if you work in job where it’s not safe for you to mix. But if that’s your reality you should be making Christmas plans accordingly.

Again it’s not fair but that’s how it is this year. I just can’t get over the numbers of people here who were quite happily going off and mixing until the government told them they couldn’t - even if they are working in risky areas. And on the converse side people like me who can go home safely now cancelling because of the rules.

If it makes you feel better to rant at me because you’re not in my position then by all means go ahead. My post was about the following of the rules instead of thinking logically about your situation and risk level.

@JaneTheVirgin yes if you’re risky you shouldn’t leave your house and mix over Christmas as you can spread covid. From sitting in my house with my DH 24/7 not seeing anyone I am in a safer position to mix. I’m sorry you are having a difficult time but unfortunately that’s just how it is.

I'm pretty much in your position too OP, and yet I can still recognise you coming across as a complete and utter twat. Long as you're all right eh? 🙄
JaneTheVirgin · 19/12/2020 23:22

For what it's worth I'll be working Christmas Day anyway but I honestly cannot believe you've come on here and advocated for those who allow you to sit at home all day including supermarket workers, cleaners, police departments etc should NOT be allowed to see family but YOU should. Absolutely flabbergasted you'd proclaim that here.

parallax80 · 19/12/2020 23:22

I’m sorry if you work in job where it’s not safe for you to mix. But if that’s your reality you should be making Christmas plans accordingly.

Priti is that you?

herethereandeverywhere · 19/12/2020 23:23

I'm going to follow the rules in the same manner as Dominic Cummings and expect to be lauded by the Tories for doing so. I'll follow my instincts as a parent, in order to find suitable childcare, (though unlikeCummings I'll have obtained a -ve test before mixing).

Ltdannygreen · 19/12/2020 23:26

Because common sense unfortunately isn’t very common anymore.

TheGoogleMum · 19/12/2020 23:26

We were going to meet the people in our childcare bubble on boxing day. We've already had covid not long ago so should theoretically have some immunity (in fact so has some of the other family). No plans to meet anyone Christmas day. It feels like the risk involved for us would be very low but feels wrong to break the rules so aren't sure if we will go ahead anyway or not...

Kaliorphic · 19/12/2020 23:27

I agree that if you know you're safe you should be able to travel / visit family. But not everyone will be and if the rules aren't tightened up then they'll just go ahead and do it anyway. Which means everyone has to suffer for it.

LivingOnAnIsland · 19/12/2020 23:27

There's more than just the meeting though. Maybe you will be involved in a car accident on the way and you tie up NHS resources and emergency services unnecessarily? And where are you going to fill up with petrol? Or supposing you have a flat tyre? It's an unnecessary journey and you are being selfish.

Jazzy1814 · 19/12/2020 23:27

I don’t think you understand even if you have isolated and you have a test you are no more above the rules then any other nhs or shop worker who has mixed with other people. It doesn’t matter what your opinion on it is the rules are for everyone including you. You’re acting smug like it’s ok for you to mix, it isn’t! You’re in the same situation as every one else.

JaneTheVirgin · 19/12/2020 23:28

And please do not with your pantronising 'You could spread Covid!' When I just told you I work with covid patients every day - do you not think I know that? I've followed every guideline and rule since the start specifically to protect my family and the wider community. Just because you don't think the rules apply to you that doesn't mean they don't and it definitely doesn't mean those working harder than you don't deserve family time too.