To be seething my husband is going to Xmas dinner with four households?

[nevereverplease]

My husband has agreed to go to his parents (didn't ask me what I was planning just decided without me).

I'm seething also because there's four households there and the group is aged 60-85 years old (except DH who is late 30s). He said he's going because he doesn't want to 'let them down'!??

I'm very angry, that I've been put in this position where I basically follow along with this crap or stay home alone.

People should just grow up and accept the fact this year Christmas won't be the same. I honestly don't understand why this is such an issue for my husband and people in general to understand.

We are lucky to have our health, lives so just forget about Christmas for one year.

AIBU?

YANBU!

YANBU

What are they thinking?

He’s being shortsighted and selfish

That is very stupid. I would love to see my mum but I wouldn’t dare. If we gave her the virus I would never forgive myself. Your husband needs to rethink

@Figgygal exactly!! What is mad to me is that in day to day life they're all very intelligent switched on people - DH included. I feel let down.

Kinda frustrating really don't his fam realise the rest of the country are going through this shit to protect THEM?

Does he always do what they say so he doesn't 'let them down'? Giving them covid for Christmas will be a massive let down

It's also the non consultation - why he wouldn't involve me as his wife in this decision making has upset me. Basically he is putting his parents requests before mine.

I'll tell him you're staying home and that he makes his choices. Food you like, Netflix, treats, fancy booze.

I'd also be rethinking the relationship but that's because I was married to a Mummy's boy and won't ever put up with that again.

@LadyTiredWinterBottom2 he doesn't usually do things to not let them down so don't know what's changed all of a sudden?!

YANBU.

@MrsTerryPratchett the weird thing is he isn't a mommy's boy ever. Never calls them hardly doesn't really bother that much. So why all of a sudden now I have no idea

What on earth is he playing at then?

Nobber.

YANBU.

The biggest issue here to me is that he's willing to make a decision on his own about Xmas and is ok with you spending it alone as a consequence.

Are there other issues in the relationship atm?

@HighSpecWhistle I haven't really thought about it but clearly there must be because I think it's mean.

Honestly, wth am I supposed to do now?

I could go to one of my family's house one other household but I don't really want to. Staying home is just 😕

He is a fool. Please don't go with him. If/when one of his elderly relatives comes down with it - he will be the one to blame.

How odd! Maybe he really really wants his presents 😂

Is there a backstory or is it out of the blue that he’s made this decision without consulting you and asking what you think. I don’t blame you for being upset about it.

I agree that we should just draw a line through this Christmas. I’m sick to death of people moaning.

Staying home is just 😕

No! Make it wonderful.

People should just grow up and accept the fact this year Christmas won't be the same

I agree absolutely OP, but it seems most people are being quite thoughtless. I've been a bit shocked at the selfishness & thoughtlessness on MN, to be honest.

Let's hope we're all here next year.

@MerylStreet he's very head strong, so yes he does quite often make decisions without me but many times I'm not fussed as I'm quite laid back in general but I felt this was quite a big decision to not involve me on

If I were 85 and counting how many Christmases I was likely to survive for, I'd be happy to take my chances on this one.
Good for him.

I totally get why cancelling Christmas is rubbish for the kids and single people but apart from that I honestly think if you have a family or are a couple then really stop whining about missing Christmas.

@katy1213 the bigger picture is - they all come down with COVID and take up hospital beds in the new year that didn't need taking up. It's selfish

YANBU it is very selfish of him and of his family.

I wouldn't go. I would stay home and have a lovely day by myself. And definitely drink so you cannot ferry him about.