To be seething my husband is going to Xmas dinner with four households?

[nevereverplease]

My husband has agreed to go to his parents (didn't ask me what I was planning just decided without me).

I'm seething also because there's four households there and the group is aged 60-85 years old (except DH who is late 30s). He said he's going because he doesn't want to 'let them down'!??

I'm very angry, that I've been put in this position where I basically follow along with this crap or stay home alone.

People should just grow up and accept the fact this year Christmas won't be the same. I honestly don't understand why this is such an issue for my husband and people in general to understand.

We are lucky to have our health, lives so just forget about Christmas for one year.

AIBU?

Are any of the households in a bubble together?

@GCITC yes two of the households I'm assuming would be in a bubble

@bluebeck 🤣 I didn't think about having a drink that's a great idea!! I worry they will think I'm spiteful

I would be saying two things to him.
One, I would not be accompanying him to the super spreader Christmas event.
Two, I was now aware that I was a lower priority to him than his parents and I would be rethinking all my own priorities and future plans on that basis.

He's being a selfish twat. Tell him that and tell him you're staying home.

nevereverplease then it's within the rules. Each bubble is classed as one household.

@GCITC ah I didn't know that. I still think it's stupid though - some of the people going don't usually go either so why this year?? I just won't feel relaxed especially when I'm not seeing my family - why should I see his?

nevereverplease I don't think your issue is with the rules, it's with the fact your husband isn't concerned about anyone but himself.

Be glad you're not in the new tier 4 like us in Kent where we can't see anyone. But he IBU

Well he's not actually breaking the rules then is he.

I’m in a similar boat and am furious.
Partner left this morning to travel to see his family (in South Wales, of all places) and I’m now stuck in London - he’s unable to leave as they’ve since gone into lockdown and come back to me so I may be facing Christmas totally alone.
He literally could have waited a FEW MORE MONTHS and could have seen his family.
I have been saying for weeks to cancel his plans, it’s not safe, not the rules.
He was lucky enough to see his family in the summer - I’ve seen no one from mine since Feb.
I am beside myself.

Yanbu

I'd be happy staying at home and leaving him to it. Nice food, good bottle of something fizzy, watching what I want and a good book. Perfect.

@Iminaglasscaseofemotion I didn't realise bubbles were one household.

It's still stupid IMo given the age of them and the issue is he hasn't consulted me

He's not breaking any rules if there's three households because two are support bubbled together. I can't see what the issue is if everyone who is attending is happy to. Your choice is the same as any other year, go or don't go.

[quote nevereverplease]@HighSpecWhistle I haven't really thought about it but clearly there must be because I think it's mean.

Honestly, wth am I supposed to do now?

I could go to one of my family's house one other household but I don't really want to. Staying home is just 😕[/quote]
You need to stand your ground. If you don't want to go (and I agree you shouldnt given it's against the rules and dangerous) then you'll have to just say you'll stay at home. If he doesn't relent then I'd have a serious think about things. Your husband is being really unkind and it would make me question how loyal (and sensible) he is.

@CantStandMeow I didn't know the rules made bubbles one household

@HighSpecWhistle alotjer posters are saying a bubble means one household so technically there'd be three households - which actually means I wouldn't be breaking rules either if I went to my family's so I will either stay home or go to my family's and leave him to it

I'd be upset at my husband planning xmas without me even if no Covid. I would refuse to go on principle and would be rethinking the relationship. You and he decide together what you are doing. I would be upset and concerned at not being important to him

@CantStandMeow

You can't see a problem with one person making a decision about xmas without consulting the other? Partnerships are supposed to include conversations, agreements and negotiations. Not one person dictating over the other.

[quote nevereverplease]@HighSpecWhistle alotjer posters are saying a bubble means one household so technically there'd be three households - which actually means I wouldn't be breaking rules either if I went to my family's so I will either stay home or go to my family's and leave him to it [/quote]
What's the set up? Of the 4 households there, how many are single?

The rules are now 2 households only.

I don’t think you can both go to your respective families as that means the number of households your household is mixing with would be bigger than 3 in total? The new restrictions say 2 households only, so he probably can’t go to his family after all?

Oh is it two households now? I need to check the government website I'm losing track!!!

@gavisconismyfriend he will still go. He's stubborn

@HighSpecWhistle if you include the household in a bubble there'd be three households, I'd the people going only one single person in a bubble