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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a little relieved by the new restrictions around xmas?

253 replies

Ohdoleavemealone · 19/12/2020 16:33

I hate having plans lingering in the air. Hate the uncertainty of can I see my family or can't I.

DS came home from school yesterday having to isolate until xmas eve so yet again we were on the fence of whether or not we could visit family boxing day. We cancelled my parents but they kept saying "lets see". Now Boris has said only mix on xmas day I can accept it and move on.

Am I the only one thinking it would have been kinder in some ways to say this from the start?

OP posts:
Moomin12345 · 19/12/2020 18:19

Also, I'd like to remind you all that you don't have to adhere to any rules if you've made awesome big plans.

Scautish · 19/12/2020 18:19

YANBU OP. We cancelled our plans a month ago. Sometimes a little bit of foresight, common sense and setting expectations is necessary especially with children.

You are also getting some really shitty comments here and you don’t deserve them.

FreeFallingFree · 19/12/2020 18:19

The thing is, three days ago they said the five day bubble was definitely going ahead. It's still another six days to Christmas. I don't think we do have certainty: the advice could change again on Tuesday.

SimonJT · 19/12/2020 18:19

Yes, as we need to get covid under better control, some hospitals have once again cancelled non-emergency surgery.

However, my partners parents arrived in the UK last week so they could spend xmas with us. He hasn’t seen them since January, they fell out with him (not his fault, entirely theres) and they had just started talking again in September. Not only will he be guttes that he can’t see them, but us following the rules will probably make undo the progress they had made in rebuilding their relationship .

GlummyMcGlummerson · 19/12/2020 18:21

@FreeFallingFree

The thing is, three days ago they said the five day bubble was definitely going ahead. It's still another six days to Christmas. I don't think we do have certainty: the advice could change again on Tuesday.
Part of me is wondering how the hell we aren't rioting on the streets over this fuck up of a government.

If we'd hired them in our business we'd be suing for malpractice. But they can just balls things up for everyone and no one seems to even notice.

We are a joke to the rest of the world, and I totally get why

RichTeaCheddars · 19/12/2020 18:21

Wow, what a lot of hate. It's not just threads that say how awful they feel about the restrictions that are allowed. You're perfectly valid in starting a thread about your situation.

Incase it matters, I'm tier 4 and having to unplan everything....

GlummyMcGlummerson · 19/12/2020 18:22

Some people are miserable so nobody else is allowed to say they like their life. Right

You can say you like your life - I genuinely hope you do. But imposing your standards of what suits you on vulnerable people is narrow minded at best, cruel at worst

GlummyMcGlummerson · 19/12/2020 18:23

You get the kind of deluded government you've voted for.
The sad thing is people will vote for them again. First Brexit not COVID, and people will still vote Tory.

minionsrule · 19/12/2020 18:25

I haven't seen my sister or her family since March and that is the only family me, DH and DS have in the UK.
We are in T3 they are in T2. Tbh we took the call weeks ago that we wouldn't go for Boxing Day as usual. As much as we miss them DS has been in school, there will be other teenagers there and I would rather wait till it is safe

M4J4 · 19/12/2020 18:26

Some people are miserable so nobody else is allowed to say they like their life. Right?

No, it’s more like don’t post threads saying ‘I’m so relieved there are tough rules so my parents can quit bugging me’ when actually you’re bloody happy that you’re having Christmas with your own ‘little family’.

It’s a smack in the face for those who have already spent money for a 3 HH Xmas.

Scautish · 19/12/2020 18:26

@GlummyMcGlummerson we are not the only country doing this.

I hate this government for what it’s done re Brexit and it’s slow response in March, but we’re up against nature here - viruses have existed for billions of years - they’re quite canny. You really should not be surprised that the government (any government) have to make last minute changes when dealing with it.

Emmylou292 · 19/12/2020 18:28

Even in normal circumstances it would just be me and my three children at Christmas. The only difference is that this year we can't see my adult son who is stuck in a care home, has no speech and the mind of a baby. He has no idea why his mum has disappeared from his life.

Happymum12345 · 19/12/2020 18:28

I agree that the prime minister has told everyone too late but it’s right what they’ve finally decided. It’s rubbish, but people need to put things into perspective. Nobody want anyone they love to be ill or die from this horrible virus. Celebrating Christmas with your family or friends can wait. Things will get better.

M4J4 · 19/12/2020 18:30

@Emmylou292

Even in normal circumstances it would just be me and my three children at Christmas. The only difference is that this year we can't see my adult son who is stuck in a care home, has no speech and the mind of a baby. He has no idea why his mum has disappeared from his life.
That’s heartbreaking. Flowers
Moomin12345 · 19/12/2020 18:30

Maybe it's time to stop believing 'Boris'? Just putting it out there. I'm stunned people actually made plans based on his promises. We never learn as a nation. Probably he'll get reelected.

GrandTheftWalrus · 19/12/2020 18:31

My parents were due to come to mine on boxing night for a couple of hours to see dd as I'm working Xmas night. Now it's not allowed but I honestly can't see what the difference is 24hrs later. You are allowed 8 people in all of Xmas day but not 2 people 24hrs later.

I'm in Scotland.

Minky37 · 19/12/2020 18:32

@SchrodingersImmigrant

I am sitting in NW and can't believe we weren't somehow put into a tier 5 made specially for us...👀
Yes us too!

It’s shite, but sadly predictable. I agree with the PP who said Christmas has been dangled like a carrot and that’s wrong, it’s just another day in a worldwide pandemic, if it’s not safe today it’s not safe on the 25th.
My kids are devastated but it’s safer all round. I agree with the

FedUpAtHomeTroels · 19/12/2020 18:33

So glad you are happy OP. I've seen my son twice this year and looks like I won't see him Chistmas eve like planned.
Many people still have to work Christmas and do Christmas get togethers/dinner/present exchange on days other that the 25th. But sod that right, lets just cancel it all.
My area has low rates should equal tier 1 yet Wales goes to full lockdown tomorrow, just because South Wales rate are rocketing.
I think Drakeford will be getting voted out at the next election.

Starlightstarbright1 · 19/12/2020 18:33

@Pidgythe2nd

What a horrible thread. Lucky you. We’re in tier 4. I now have to tell 3 children they won’t see their grandparents on Christmas Day. I’m devastated. The thought of a ‘normal’ Christmas Day is the only thing that’s been keeping me going.
I am sure this has been part of the reason the government have been encouraging people to isolate/ follow restrictions.

People are allowed to feel gutted

edwinbear · 19/12/2020 18:38

DC’s Christmas presents have been sent directly to their GP’s, a 7 hr drive away, as that’s where we were told we’d be able to go at Christmas. DH is currently driving to meet the GP’s half way, to exchange presents.

We have no food in the house, with DH having lost his job, no money to buy food, and even if we did, I can’t imagine there will be much to buy in the supermarkets come tomorrow morning. It’s a fucking shambles, I’m sure Boris will be fine with his staff sorting his Christmas out for him.

Original poster
Ohdoleavemealone · 19/12/2020 18:39

@FedUpAtHomeTroels at no point have I said I am happy. Did you even read my post? Or any of my subsequent replies?
I am relieved we have clarity and can stop worrying that our plans will be cancelled last minute because they have now been officially cancelled. That is not the same. I had a cry about it, then put on my big girl pants and told the kids. I haven't seen my family either. A small xmas at year in the same 4 walls I have spent the last 9 months is not what I wanted.
I do want to stop worrying whether or not we will make it to those plans or will we be disapointed on xmas eve, xmas day, boxing day.
I would rather be disapointed today, than next week.

OP posts:
ChaToilLeam · 19/12/2020 18:40

It was cruel to raise people’s hopes and dash them like this. It would have been better to make tight restrictions and then loosen them, rather than the other way about. It may be necessary but the fallout for people who are already emotionally struggling is horrible. And OP, you might feel relief, many more will be experiencing despair.

ohwhatamiserableyear · 19/12/2020 18:42

I get it, OP. The government should never have said so early on that there would be 5 days at Christmas to see others. It was irresponsible from the beginning ... much too early to make that call.

It's hard, it sucks, but I think it's the right decision.

And I write that having not seen my own mother or sister in over a year; they were supposed to come see us for a few weeks at Easter. We haven't seen our elderly inlaws or any of our other extended family since last New Year's week. And having to cancel having an international student friend who is stuck here all alone for christmas from staying with us for the original 5 days; now she can't come at all. It sucks. but it's the right decision.

rc22 · 19/12/2020 18:42

I'm up north in tier 3 and DH and I were just planning to spend Xmas at home so not much has changed for me. I was feeling all indignant last week about how unfairly we had been treat in the North but now I do feel sad for you all in London and the South East. All I can say is that I really hope it has the desired effect and brings transmission, cases and deaths right down.

Moonandstars25 · 19/12/2020 18:42

So glad that it works out for you OP but it is a kick in the teeth for us being thrown into tier 4. Our rates are lower than some areas left in tier 3 and some even in tier 2. The hospital local to us serves not only us but areas who are in tier 2 and still allowed to mix on Xmas day so I’m fuming. It will mean that the stress on our hospital won’t be reduced as mixing will still be going ahead in those tier 2 areas. I’m at home with a 13 month old- I can’t form a support bubble as he is a couple of weeks to old but I am at the end of my tether. He is becoming increasingly difficult to entertain at home all day. He isn’t walking so there is only so much I can do with him at the park. I was going to get some respite with my mum being allowed in my house for a few days. I could even manage knowing if I could have Xmas day with my mum and sister (they are one household) as they adore my son and they have had very limited contact with him all through this pandemic. I really don’t know how I will manage anymore.

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