Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a little relieved by the new restrictions around xmas?

253 replies

Ohdoleavemealone · 19/12/2020 16:33

I hate having plans lingering in the air. Hate the uncertainty of can I see my family or can't I.

DS came home from school yesterday having to isolate until xmas eve so yet again we were on the fence of whether or not we could visit family boxing day. We cancelled my parents but they kept saying "lets see". Now Boris has said only mix on xmas day I can accept it and move on.

Am I the only one thinking it would have been kinder in some ways to say this from the start?

OP posts:
Frazzledstar1 · 20/12/2020 18:10

I am a of course disappointed that my dcs won’t see their grandparents for Xmas; but it’s not the end of the world if we don’t see everyone for one year, if it means that stricter measures are going to see us to the end of this pandemic quicker then I am all for it. And tbh the idea of relaxing rules for 5 days over Xmas seemed crazy to me anyway! As long as lone people can still form a bubble so they don’t have to spend Xmas alone (which they can) then i don’t think we should complain. If it means our more vulnerable relatives will live to see next Christmas and many more after then surely that’s the best outcome?!

graysquirrel · 20/12/2020 18:18

Tbh it's such a polarised thing.
Half will be gutted as not seen family much this year and have craved this bit of joy and normality.
Others will be more worried about meeting up and putting themselves or other family members at risk because of their own individualised circumstances. I'm in this camp as I'd be heart broken if my children passed anything to my vunerable parents, as such we were planning our own lockdown irrelevant of it being laid out in law.
I think the kindest thing is to recognise everyone is suffering right now in one way or another.

winniestone37 · 20/12/2020 18:40

Erm I think lots of people have different lives, so what’s right for you may not be right for other people. Welcome to life.

devilish · 20/12/2020 18:57

I for one am absolutely gutted when my daughter goes to her dads on Boxing Day I get to spend the week between Christmas and New Years completely on my own.
Atleast op u have family to be with during this time

Thinkingthinking · 20/12/2020 19:03

This will probably make me very unpopular but I think people just need to get over it. It’s one day, one Christmas, one year. I get it, it’s disappointing but ‘devastating’, really?! Surely tighter restrictions and behaving sensibly is preferable to letting it rip through the population over Xmas thus probably killing lots of your dear relatives. I’m very sad for people who will be alone, but lots of people on this thread have stated they will be with their DH, DC’s etc

AgentJohnson · 20/12/2020 19:05

I get it I really do but given the number of u turns I think it is no real surprise that we are in the position we are in. I made it clear in September that I wasn’t going to be in the UK and I was told I was being overly cautious.

Kazmerelda · 20/12/2020 19:08

I get where you are coming from, tbh I said early on I thought we would get locked down again. Doesn’t make it right it has happened but I know all of the media reports were giving a lot of people anxiety.

However I think a lot of people just hoped it was going to happen and they would see loved ones.and for those people I feel a lot of sorrow

Bathroom12345 · 20/12/2020 19:15

Some people have being seeing all and sundry, some have had family parties despite lockdowns, that is who you need to blame.

Whatever the rules are there are an xxx percentage of people who stretch and bends rules.

Riv · 20/12/2020 19:20

We planned not to see our family this year. There’s only me, DH and two adult children.
We’ve got used to that idea, even though it may be the last time we will all be here at Christmas.
The only consolation was that our single adult children, whom we have not seen since last Christmas, would be with their friends and might even manage to visit each other over Christmas. They both live alone. They don’t have anyone to bubble with. Now they will both be alone. I find that really upsetting.

MrsAvocet · 20/12/2020 19:26

I think you are right - it is probably a sensible move. But the timing stinks. Had we all been told weeks ago that this us what was going to happen I think most people would have accepted it. Plans would have been made to make the best of the situation, parcels would have been posted to loved ones in good time and people would have shopped appropriately for their needs. We wouldn't have had the last minute panic seen on the trains yesterday, the mad dash to get parcels in the post etc.
Not many people would have liked the restrictions but if we had been prepared for it I think the majority would have accepted the situation. It is having the rug pulled from under us at the last minute that hurts. I am very sad that not only can my DD now not come home but it seems unlikely that I can get her presents delivered to her on time now . (I'm sick of seeing the words "excludes Highland and Islands" )
I suppose it could have been even worse and the announcement made even later, but I do think it has been handled badly. I find it hard to believe that our political masters honestly didn't know until yesterday that these changes were necessary.

nwatty · 20/12/2020 19:41

I just admit to feeling a huge sense of relief today. Was so disappointed last night kot to be spending. It with hubby's parents but in reality we were both really worried about the risk of unwittingly passing covid to them. I'm lucky there are 3 of us in our house so wont be alone bug my over riding feeling is definitely relief now

Parrotsandpussies · 20/12/2020 19:48

I completely understand OP. I think some people on here need to remember the "same storm different boat" analogy though. My Mum died earlier this month. Seeing my adult children at Christmas became very important to me. I can't see them now. And yes, I am devastated. I will be fine. And outwardly I'm smiling and serene. But I'm so sad.

Riv · 20/12/2020 19:59

Flowers @Parrotsandpussies. That is really tough. Thinking of you. Take care. Do you have anyone close living with you that can give you regular, much needed hugs?
Look after your self. This too will pass.

SallyB392 · 20/12/2020 20:02

I'm with you 100% OP, I'm sorry this is so late in the day but relieved, the virus is out of control, Christmas is not over, it can't be cancelled but this year it is going to be different.

Our children and grandchildren will be learning about Christmas 2020 for years to come. So, rather than be angry or upset, why not make it really special. Record this unusual Christmas, and hold on to the memories of this year, we are at war, against an enemy that we can't see or hear. And we will beat the ruddy thing head on but not this week! This week we need to stick two fingers up at the virus, and try to enjoy these strange, strange festivities as best as we can.

If we ALL keep to the rule, we might just, have a Christmas 2021. And for the record I'm in Tier 4

Stopandlook · 20/12/2020 20:06

My mum (75) is really upset, but I know where you are coming from. It was going to be such a responsibility keeping her safe when she came down over Christmas. I’m kind of relieved I don’t have that worry and she’s safe in her rural village with her husband.
Of course what we all want is Christmas without the virus threat but that’s out of our hands.

Purplethrow · 20/12/2020 20:18

I feel so sorry for people who haven’t seen family for months and had made sensible plans for Christmas.

I’m personally relieved, though, because of a certain family member who was trying all sorts of combinations of getting together, all of which put my elderly parents at risk .

It’s my lovely mum’s birthday on Christmas Day and it’s the first time ever that I won’t be seeing her , I am so sad but true to form , she said ‘There’s always other days pet ‘

I hope people can salvage something out of the wreckage this has caused, even if it’s just being thankful that they have family that although they can’t see them , they are alive and well.

littlemisskt · 20/12/2020 20:42

It’s the people working Christmas Day that this is a real kick in the teeth for - obviously those in tiers that could see meet. They have putting their dedication towards their jobs in front of family and friends and own health and sanity for months and they had one chance to work around it, and now that has been taken away.

phoenixrosehere · 20/12/2020 21:33

I get where you are coming from, tbh I said early on I thought we would get locked down again.

We thought the same hence is why we decided in October to stay home for Christmas. In-laws are in Newcastle. We figured either in-laws’ area would be locked down, we could be locked down or both of us would be locked down so better to just try for next year that way no one got their hopes up and money wasn’t wasted.

SallyB392 · 20/12/2020 21:36

I haven't seen 2 of my three children all year, and my other daughter just once. But I want to know that they are safe. I'm in Tier 4, the others are 2 or 3 hubby and I are happy to wait and eat far too much!

PortalooSunset · 20/12/2020 23:04

The 5 days should never have been a thing. We should have got to this week expecting not to be able to see anyone/mix (as lockdown shouldn't have stopped) before they said OK, you can have one day. If that. I'm working Christmas Day so only able to see immediate family. Furious with the government that it has come to this but have to say am entirely unsurprised.

OhWhyNot · 20/12/2020 23:15

I understand both sides of the argument

Many people were really worried about having family over and didn’t want to take the risk but felt pressure to

And the flip side

Its horrible situation all around and for some really terrible

I’m in London all plans off

zombie0037 · 21/12/2020 03:00

I would loved to of see my family, I am tier 4 and they are tier 3, so gonna be on my own eating beans on toast.

cuparfull · 21/12/2020 03:15

@Angel2702

Not relieved here at all, got to cancel our only Christmas activity, we had been clinging to getting to Christmas to get some support as families caring for disabled children don’t get to form a support bubble. We now have to face Christmas on our own, no proper Christmas dinner, no much needed support and face endless days in front of us dealing with endless meltdowns whilst trying to shield our other child from the fallout. Throw in a child with a Boxing Day birthday which we haven’t finished buying for and I don’t think the news could have been any worse for us.
Try Happy Puzzle company, order today 21st, and they guarantee before Christmas delivery... for your Boxing Day Birthday child. Lots of little cheap puzzles to fill the days and more challenging ones too. All the best
whatkatydid2013 · 21/12/2020 07:26

I understand what you mean OP. We are in tier 3. My parents are in our childcare bubble and help us on occasional days where OH and I are both unable to pick kids up after school. They are planning to come for Christmas Day but since we know plans could change we had told the kids it will just be us and we will see grandma and grandad over the holidays at some point. If we don’t hear of anyone from their classes with family members getting symptoms or positive tests via the class whats app group and none of us are contacted though track and trace and there are no further rule changes we thought it would be a lovely surprise for the girls when they turned up. If something went wrong they would never know they missed something. We saw my parents yesterday and even though I had mentioned to her more than once we were not making any promises over Christmas about seeing people etc my mother went and told the kids she’d see them on Christmas Day. I’m not certain if they actually registered what she said or not as my dad and I quickly interrupted and distracted them but I’m now feeling some weird and irritating constant level of low level anxiety on what if something changes that was entirely absent previously. It will be fine either way and we will make the most of the day we have either way but I felt much better before she said that when as far as the kids knew it would be just us

Wowthisisreal · 21/12/2020 07:51

I kind of agree @Ohdoleavemealone. Last week I was in a right state worrying about Christmas. Now we are in tier 2 but v close to tier 4. I'd say 50% of my family and friends are tier 4.

I'm a little thankful they are taking things serious and not asking people to just 'choose' not to see family. It's easier on my conscious at least to know I 'can't' and and those tier 4 have the best chance of getting a hold on this new variant.

It also makes me determined to follow the rules and just see my Christmas bubble for Xmas day when I know so many I am close to don't even get that 'luxury'.