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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be a little relieved by the new restrictions around xmas?

253 replies

Ohdoleavemealone · 19/12/2020 16:33

I hate having plans lingering in the air. Hate the uncertainty of can I see my family or can't I.

DS came home from school yesterday having to isolate until xmas eve so yet again we were on the fence of whether or not we could visit family boxing day. We cancelled my parents but they kept saying "lets see". Now Boris has said only mix on xmas day I can accept it and move on.

Am I the only one thinking it would have been kinder in some ways to say this from the start?

OP posts:
M4J4 · 19/12/2020 16:36

YABU, many people have made plans based on the rules and are now disappointed.

Seems like another ‘I’m alright Jack’ thread.

cologne4711 · 19/12/2020 16:37

Yes I can see both sides here, if you had plans it's rubbish, if you were trying to put relatives off, it's a relief.

Pidgythe2nd · 19/12/2020 16:38

What a horrible thread.
Lucky you.
We’re in tier 4. I now have to tell 3 children they won’t see their grandparents on Christmas Day. I’m devastated. The thought of a ‘normal’ Christmas Day is the only thing that’s been keeping me going.

Plonque · 19/12/2020 16:39

@cologne4711

Yes I can see both sides here, if you had plans it's rubbish, if you were trying to put relatives off, it's a relief.

Yes, I had family coming but had decided against it since. I'm glad I now have a concrete excuse!

Luckyrabbitfoot · 19/12/2020 16:39

Bloody good for you. My 6 year old DD and elderly parents now won’t be able to see each other in the garden on Christmas Day as we are in Tier 4. So pleased that you’re relieved though.

Original poster
Ohdoleavemealone · 19/12/2020 16:39

@M4J4 it really isn't. I cried on the phone to my mum yesterday because I have seen her a total of 4 times this year and really wanted to see her.

Knowing we could go and see her though - but only if none of us develop symptoms or told to isolate is much more stressful though than being told weeks ago we couldn't.

At least then we could have all come to terms with it and made appropriate plans rather than have them ruined last minute.

OP posts:
Pukkatea · 19/12/2020 16:39

I was desperate to see my family, who I haven't seen since January. I'm now stuck in tier 4 with all plans cancelled. Yes it would have been bloody kinder to say it from the start because this is devastating.

Hahaha88 · 19/12/2020 16:40

@Pidgythe2nd

What a horrible thread. Lucky you. We’re in tier 4. I now have to tell 3 children they won’t see their grandparents on Christmas Day. I’m devastated. The thought of a ‘normal’ Christmas Day is the only thing that’s been keeping me going.
Why though if you are allowed to see them on Xmas day?
HintOfVintagePink · 19/12/2020 16:40

Everyone’s circumstances are different. Personally I’m quite upset that my parents cannot now stay with us on Boxing Day night as planned. It was the only thing we had planned socially over the whole Christmas season. Our DC will be upset. They live too far away to travel here and back on one day.

nextdoorshush · 19/12/2020 16:41

people should have been sensible and deciding not to see family anyway so I wish they had just said this from the start.

Luckyrabbitfoot · 19/12/2020 16:41

You can’t in tier 4. Did you even see the press conference @Hahaha88

NotOfThisWorld · 19/12/2020 16:41

I think people are taking this the wrong way. OP isn't say yay I'm glad the rules have changed because it suits me. She's saying that for her personally it's a relief because the uncertainty was stressful.

I get it OP. I'm actually disapointed as I was going to see my parents and the DC were excited but I get why in your case it's easier.

EsmeeMerlin · 19/12/2020 16:41

Good for you. Personally I have been sat in tears having to cancel seeing my mum on Christmas Eve. Dh will be at work all day and it will just be me and my two children. It’s fine and I’ll make the best of it and I won’t be one to ignore the rules but I am gutted we will know be in stricter lockdown again and just want all this to end already.

BlueJackel · 19/12/2020 16:42

It has improved Christmas for me as my 2 siblings were going to come up from what is now a tier 4 area to spend Christmas with my mum and dad.
As we still live local to home we were going to meet for a walk. As they now can't come we can go to mum and dad's for dinner, mum and dad are only early 60s and both still work so not massively worried about them.
I feel really sorry for my brothers and other people affected negatively though.

nosswith · 19/12/2020 16:42

I'm not relieved. I am angry that the response again is later than it should have been.

Blacktothepink · 19/12/2020 16:42

My husband is working Christmas Day, we were going to have 2 family members over Boxing Day, which is going to be our Christmas Day 🤔

Original poster
Ohdoleavemealone · 19/12/2020 16:42

@Pidgythe2nd

What a horrible thread. Lucky you. We’re in tier 4. I now have to tell 3 children they won’t see their grandparents on Christmas Day. I’m devastated. The thought of a ‘normal’ Christmas Day is the only thing that’s been keeping me going.
And with that in mind, surely it would have been kinder to never have got our hopes up in the beginning?

I have had to tell my kids that they won't see family as well. If they had done this from the start, we would be over the disapointment by now!

OP posts:
BigGreen · 19/12/2020 16:43

This is a horrible thread. I cannot now see my sister, I haven't seen a single member of my family in 2020. So glad you are happy Hmm

Original poster
Ohdoleavemealone · 19/12/2020 16:43

@NotOfThisWorld

I think people are taking this the wrong way. OP isn't say yay I'm glad the rules have changed because it suits me. She's saying that for her personally it's a relief because the uncertainty was stressful.

I get it OP. I'm actually disapointed as I was going to see my parents and the DC were excited but I get why in your case it's easier.

Exactly thank you. People are very good at reading the bits they want!
OP posts:
EsmeeMerlin · 19/12/2020 16:43

Sorry op but it’s just really hard. I am glad you feel better knowing one way or the other and hope you have a nice Christmas.

Hahaha88 · 19/12/2020 16:44

@Luckyrabbitfoot

You can’t in tier 4. Did you even see the press conference *@Hahaha88*
I missed the tier 4 bit! 🤦🏻‍♀️
Angel2702 · 19/12/2020 16:44

Not relieved here at all, got to cancel our only Christmas activity, we had been clinging to getting to Christmas to get some support as families caring for disabled children don’t get to form a support bubble. We now have to face Christmas on our own, no proper Christmas dinner, no much needed support and face endless days in front of us dealing with endless meltdowns whilst trying to shield our other child from the fallout. Throw in a child with a Boxing Day birthday which we haven’t finished buying for and I don’t think the news could have been any worse for us.

ChristmasTreeFairy5000 · 19/12/2020 16:44

There would have been riots if they cancelled it in November

Original poster
Ohdoleavemealone · 19/12/2020 16:44

@BigGreen

This is a horrible thread. I cannot now see my sister, I haven't seen a single member of my family in 2020. So glad you are happy Hmm
I am not happy that no one can see family, I am releived that we don't have the constant uncertainty hanging over us for the next 5 days!
OP posts:
supersonicginandtonic · 19/12/2020 16:44

I've got two sisters I was going to see on Boxing Day. One tried to take her own life during the first lockdown, I've been caring for her son ever since and the other sister has a brain tumour. He can bollocks if he thinks I'm changing those plans.

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