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Original poster

Been told no presents for great-nephew!

79 replies

UndertheCedartree · 19/12/2020 14:30

I messaged the mother of my great-nephew yesterday asking what size clothes he was in as I was thinking of getting an outfit/babygro for him for Christmas. She told me she doesn't want any presents for him as 'he has enough' and I could put some money into his savings if I wanted. Now this would have been fine except I've already bought his presents (2 toys and a book). I told her this but said they could be kept at the baby's dad's flat (my nephew - they are not together). She said she didn't want him having toys at his dad's as she already will send his favourite toys when he sees his dad.

I don't know what to do! I don't want to go against her wishes as his mother but I already have the presents bought and wrapped!

OP posts:
Macncheeseballs · 19/12/2020 14:31

Ignore her

CiggyStardust · 19/12/2020 14:31

I don't think she gets to decide what he has at his dad's house. Send them to your nephew.

OakleyStreetisnotinChelsea · 19/12/2020 14:31

Give them to your nephew to give to him on your behalf. Not being about to have stuff at his dad's sounds miserable and unsustainable as he grows up. Children who have separated parents should feel at home in both houses and that means having their own things around.

boon · 19/12/2020 14:32

That is so rude!

BlairCorneliaWaldorf · 19/12/2020 14:33

Give them to the baby’s dad. He can decide if he wants to keep some toys at his place.

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 19/12/2020 14:33

Just give them to your nephew. She can decide for her own house, she doesn't get to dictate what happens in his house.

Lesson learned for future, contact your nephew with these questions.

M0mmyneedswine · 19/12/2020 14:41

She doesnt get to decide what his dad has at his house for the child, send them to him they are both his parents

Littlemissnutcracker · 19/12/2020 14:43

She sounds really awful. You were very kind to ask her and buy a present. A thank you was the only correct response here.

BritWifeinUSA · 19/12/2020 14:46

He has two parents, not just her. He’s your nephew’s son as much as he’s hers and I’m sure he will be very grateful for the presents. Ask your nephew what size he is and buy as many outfits as you want.

DowntonCrabby · 19/12/2020 14:48

God your poor nephew! I hope he’s just laughing at her ridiculous attempts to control everything.

Send them to nephew addressed to GN, block her number and only contact DN in future.

Absolutely batshit!

user1493413286 · 19/12/2020 14:49

Ask your nephew if he wants toys at his flat; if he says no then fine keep them to give to someone else but he’d potentially quite happily have them. In the future I’d just give the presents to your nephew and not involve her. She sounds quite rude to be honest.

Emeraldshamrock · 19/12/2020 14:49

You did ask? I'd give them direct to your nephew and the extra you were spending on an outfit can go into savings.

Kb12 · 19/12/2020 14:50

That was nice of you but we had so much stuff bought for our 1 year old most of it went straight to the charity shop with tags still on. She's 3 this year, we have asked to limit the amount of presents as the house is full, they take ages to tidy up and there's another baby on the way so we wanted to declutter, but we have been completely ignored again. It's frustrating.

Aprilx · 19/12/2020 14:50

Ignore her and talk to your nephew about great nephews presents.

Barton10 · 19/12/2020 14:52

That is rude and ungrateful there are so many children with nothing for Christmas this year too. Is there a local hospital you could donate them to? Or give them to his Dad.

tinselfest · 19/12/2020 14:53

You are buying the present for your nephew's child. Give the present to your nephew.

Sorka · 19/12/2020 14:57

Call me paranoid but if she doesn’t want her son to have toys at his Dad’s house it makes me think she wants his Dad to have minimal contact and for her to be in complete control. Maybe there’s a good reason for this, maybe there isn’t. I’d give the gifts to be kept at the Dad’s house.

Which one of the parents are you related to? You say baby Dad so does she not know this man well?

Sweettea1 · 19/12/2020 14:58

She doesn't get to decide what toys are in dads house give the presents to nephew when at dads house ask dad baby's clothes size and buy the outfit also kept at dads house. My child keeps alot of things in dads house whats come from dads side of family an it none of my business as to whats their or not. Don't communicate with mum just sort it all with babys dad.

Baileyscheesecake · 19/12/2020 14:59

Say to her that you’ve already bought them for this year and are wrapped up but that in future years you will put money into savings. I personally would put the minimal amount possible into savings as I think she sounds like an ungrateful cow! Then this year give the presents to your nephew and let him decide whether the presents are left at his.

cookiecuttercreamandbutter · 19/12/2020 15:00

She can't dictate what toys he has at his dad's.

But to keep on the right side of her, I think I might gift the toys to charity this time and never ask again.

emilyfrost · 19/12/2020 15:01

I’d just speak to the nephew, ask him what he wants me to do about the presents. If he wants them at his place, great, give them him. I wouldn’t buy any more though.

If not, return the presents.

museumsandgalleries666 · 19/12/2020 15:03

Send the presents you've already wrapped to your nephew and put some money in his savings account instead of buying clothes.

Spied · 19/12/2020 15:04

Not up to her what your nephew has in his home for his son.

Original poster
UndertheCedartree · 19/12/2020 15:04

Glad to see I'm not being unreasonable!

@DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult - yes, quite right. To be honest I was being pretty sexist asking the mum not the dad!

I've already spoken to my nephew and he's very happy to have some presents to unwrap with his son and keep at his flat.

OP posts:
grey12 · 19/12/2020 15:05

@Kb12

That was nice of you but we had so much stuff bought for our 1 year old most of it went straight to the charity shop with tags still on. She's 3 this year, we have asked to limit the amount of presents as the house is full, they take ages to tidy up and there's another baby on the way so we wanted to declutter, but we have been completely ignored again. It's frustrating.
I agree. I'm not very happy with people giving more toys to my DC Confused too many in the house. Either ask me what toys to give or give books. I'm good with books ;)
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