We aren’t doing Christmas Presents this year...

[DBML]

We always do Christmas presents...though personally I couldn’t care less whether we did them or not, but historically we always have.

Today, I get a group text message that MIL is not doing presents and then BIL adds that he isn’t either.

Now, it’s not a huge deal and I understand...but am I being unreasonable thinking that they could have mentioned this a little earlier?

I completed my shopping weeks ago...bought all their gifts and the children’s gifts, which granted could probably mostly go back, but they are all here, wrapped and ready to be delivered in gift bags, with selection boxes and bottles of wine as the normal extras.

AIBU for being ever so slightly pissed off?

I will be letting it go, I’m certainly not going to complain, but felt like I needed a little vent.

My mum states all year that she is only buying for children which is fine by me as I’m only on carers allowance and have to save every month to ensure a basic Christmas for dc like a food shop so there’s food Christmas week and a few modest presents, guaranteed 2 weeks prior to Christmas will state you can get me either a particular perfume which is £130 full price, one year she wanted a £75 riding hat even though she already had 5, the year before a £500 saddle! One year demanded a Sony mobile phone 2 weeks before Christmas which was £ 230 ? I actually stupidly had a windfall of money and purchased it to find a week later she didn’t like it so had sold it for £25 to my sister, one year we were more organised and she said months earlier I’d like a nice hamper made up so I got one made up with her favourites gin, marzipan et for her to say 2 weeks prior oh I’ve changed my mind I don’t want it I want my nails done etc. I told her I would be keeping the hamper and she would be getting feck all. Now I just put either a gift card in for her for £20 or the cash . Mothers!

TBH I think I would be tempted to message something like:

"Slightly a shame that you didn't mention this a little earlier since, as it is so close to Christmas, I have already bought all the presents (Who hasn't by now?) You might as well have them so we will be dropping them off as usual"

It isn't as if you are out of pocket because you have actually bought the presents anyway and if this approach might make them feel bad and a bit embarrassed that is quite right and fitting. They should feel embarrassed. Nobody leaves it this late to make an announcement like that.

Definitely don't give them their presents anyway !

Then next year wait until 19th December and tell them that not having to sort presents in 2020 was so liberating that you're not doing presents ever again.

We stopped doing presents for the adults once we started our families, now we just buy for the children but once they're all over 21, we'll stop that too. Christmas should definitely be less stressful and less expensive !