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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What do you do about family wanting to break Christmas Covid rules?

84 replies

BuckleBuckaroo · 18/12/2020 10:08

Not sure if this should go here or Covid thread. Because the rules say mixing/ bubble with 2 other households I am having my parents over christmas and then its only fair to have dh parents over. That the 2 household limit. Mil and Fil coming on 23rd and my parents coming on 25th. But now Sil is trying to invite herself over on the 23rd but she does not live with Mil so thats a 3rd household. So that would mean we were breaking the rules if we had my parents over. Dh told his sister this and she is giving him the silent treatment. Now Mil is saying it is his sister for goodness sake and making her feel unwelcome. Aibu to think its fair to have one household from my family and one from dh's and not to break christmas covid rules as thats not fair on people following the rules. Sil also lives with 2 flatmates and is a teacher so might have a higher risk of having covid?

OP posts:
lughnasadh · 18/12/2020 10:11

For God's sake, some people are positively gleeful about this bubble rubbish, because it gives vent to their pent up pettiness.

Invite his sister, and act like a family.

Hardbackwriter · 18/12/2020 10:12

But your MIL and FIL can't see your SIL either by the bubble rules, as they're in an exclusive bubble with you and your parents - which is why this isn't a decision that you can unilaterally make, you've elected for an option that means you see exactly what you want but the rest of your bubble can't... You've decided for SIL that she can't see her parents. You all need to discuss it again and come to a solution that everyone is happier with.

Original poster
BuckleBuckaroo · 18/12/2020 10:18

Hardbackwriter what would be fair in this situation? Mil can see Sil instead that's fine. I don't want to break the rules. I can't stop Mil coming here then breaking the rules with Sil?. Surely it is unfair if I can't see any of my family but dh can see 2 households from his?

OP posts:
Original poster
BuckleBuckaroo · 18/12/2020 10:19

Mil can see Sil instead that's fine - i.e instead of seeing us.

OP posts:
lughnasadh · 18/12/2020 10:22

Just see whoever you like.

Do you seally think that most people, or in fact he Government ministers who came up with this rubbish, will be sticking to 'the rules'?

Don't sow divisions on the back of some half-baked guidance.

You'll be remembered for that long after Covid has passed us by.

Hardbackwriter · 18/12/2020 10:23

There isn't really a great solution here - either your in-laws can't see both their children or you can't see your family. It's a bit rubbish either way. But I can see why it's caused upset in your DH's family that you've presented this as a fait accompli, which is why I think you need to talk to them about what they think is the best solution, given that you're going to see your parents.

Original poster
BuckleBuckaroo · 18/12/2020 10:24

lughnasadh if everyone breaks the rules won't there be a massive spike in cases?

OP posts:
RealMermaid · 18/12/2020 10:26

You need to have a conversation with sil and mil about who sees who. Basically it's your mil's choice because you're not unreasonable to say you can't see both - but you should at least have a chat about it.

justfreedes · 18/12/2020 10:27

Hmmto the PPs saying do whatever you want. Good plan. not.

RealMermaid · 18/12/2020 10:27

All the people saying just break the rules - you are literally the reason that this pandemic is continuing to be so severe.

BritWifeinUSA · 18/12/2020 10:28

@BuckleBuckaroo

lughnasadh if everyone breaks the rules won't there be a massive spike in cases?
There has hardly been a drop in cases with people following “the roolz”.
PositivelyPositiveAboutNothing · 18/12/2020 10:30

I honestly couldn't get worked up about seeing one extra household I really couldn't.

I can't help but do a bit of an eye roll now at all the ITS THE RULEZ THO.

The rules change quicker than I change my underwear. I won't be stupid about it but I also would just see my SIL tbh.

Notdeliasmith · 18/12/2020 10:31

Equally amazed at people who are advising not to follow rules

Gretnacastle · 18/12/2020 10:32

If you enforce the rules so rigidly that ONE extra person, who is the sister of one person, the daughter of others, and presumably an aunt to your kids , can’t join the rest of her family for a few hours then you will be in the minority.

If she had four kids, and a husband, and had also been to his family etc etc you “might” have a point.

Let her see her family for a few hours ffs

EverdeRose · 18/12/2020 10:33

Just do whatever you want but don't go crazy. Do you think the people who made these ridiculous rules will be following them? They haven't done so far?
How many will be filling their houses to the brim with relatives for a few days so they can all act and 1 household, then meet up with 2 households that's done the same, how many will be popping off to their local hunt or shoot since they've put it in the rules that that's allowed.

roarfeckingroarr · 18/12/2020 10:35

I would invite her. PIL sill see her anyway.

roarfeckingroarr · 18/12/2020 10:36

@PositivelyPositiveAboutNothing

I honestly couldn't get worked up about seeing one extra household I really couldn't.

I can't help but do a bit of an eye roll now at all the ITS THE RULEZ THO.

The rules change quicker than I change my underwear. I won't be stupid about it but I also would just see my SIL tbh.

Exactly this
Original poster
BuckleBuckaroo · 18/12/2020 10:38

I would invite her. PIL sill see her anyway then they can be the one to break the rules which I have no control over, not me and my parents.

OP posts:
halcyondays · 18/12/2020 10:38

This is why Christmas bubbles are never going to work. What are the PILS and SIL doing on Christmas Day?

PositivelyPositiveAboutNothing · 18/12/2020 10:38

@roarfeckingroarr

I would invite her. PIL sill see her anyway.
This too. Do you think your PIL won't just see her anyway? It sounds like they will tbh.
EverdeRose · 18/12/2020 10:40

@RealMermaid

There are a hundred reasons why the pandemic is having a second peak, none of those include inviting 1 extra person for an afternoon.

The test and trace system is in chaos and some people aren't being advised to isolate until after the 2 weeks would be up.
There's little support to keep people off work who need to isolate.
School bubble systems are failing in secondary schools, since they're packing 60 kids on a tiny school bus, all from different bubbles.
Shops are full to the brim, no social distancing at all since mask wearing was made mandatory, people queuing outside shops too, but pubs can't open to serve people who are social distanced.

Original poster
BuckleBuckaroo · 18/12/2020 10:40

I am suprised by so many advising to break the rules. Is that the majority opinion? Are you not worried about a massive spike in cases in January, hospitals not coping and harsher lockdown rules?

OP posts:
Hardbackwriter · 18/12/2020 10:40

It is mad how different the responses to this thread are to those you'd get on the coronavirus board, where you'd be told that seeing anyone at all made you a murderer and that you should just have Christmas 'just your little family' and like it.

luckylavender · 18/12/2020 10:41

@lughnasadh - don't moan when this never ends

PositivelyPositiveAboutNothing · 18/12/2020 10:41

@BuckleBuckaroo

I would invite her. PIL sill see her anyway then they can be the one to break the rules which I have no control over, not me and my parents.
So your PIL see their daughter separately, then come to you. So you haven't technically 'broken the rules', they have, so that's okay?
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