I am unreasonable. I've hit the pandemic wall today.

outofthemoon · 2020-12-17T21:30:30+00:00

Today it feels endless. 3 members of my family are self isolating alone in different cities. They are miserable. I keep telling them soon it will be a different world but I don't believe it really. Tell me to grow up or stop the self pity or something please.

ForTheLoveOfCatFood · 17/12/2020 21:32

It’s ok to not be ok - frankly I think making it to December 2020 is an achievement in itself

ComDummings · 17/12/2020 21:34

Let yourself feel how you feel. Then tomorrow resolve to look at the positives. It’s hard. It’s like a fucking never ending crappy sci fi film. We should allow ourselves to feel low or sad or down but just be careful it doesn’t consume us. One step one day at a time

AtlasPine · 17/12/2020 21:35

It sounds so sad - you can’t pretend it isn’t. But it will eventually end.

NoProblem123 · 17/12/2020 21:36

Be kind to yourself, life is hard at the moment

ShirleyPhallus · 17/12/2020 21:36

Ah no, it’s really hard. I think it feels extra difficult because we can all tolerate something like this for a short time or for a long time if you knew the end date. But for months now, it’s felt like something might get better - lockdown lifting, vaccine here etc, but still no real end in sight.

Be kind to yourself OP, it’s totally ok to feel like this

Iveputmyselfonthenaughtystep · 17/12/2020 21:37

It is shit. Everyone feels shit at the moment. Don't make yourself feel more shit telling yourself you should feel differently

BettyCrockaShit · 17/12/2020 21:40

As above. 2020 is a burning bag of shite with extra shit sprinkles on top. If you can, have a stiff G&T and chuck a bath bomb in for good measure - and trust that tomorrow/the weeks/months that follow will be, if not good, a tad less crappy.

Chocolate4me · 17/12/2020 21:43

Feeling it with you today op!! But we will shake it back off and plough back on, it's OK to have doubtful days, and it's good that you are supporting your family members. I'm sure they will return the favour to you.
This week is the testing week I think where we realise how much we are sacrificing by not seeing family at Christmas, or seeing them if you choose and taking that risk. It's a shit time and it's OK to feel it, but hopefully that down feeling will pass

saveforthat · 17/12/2020 21:43

Try and look for small pleasures. My partner and I have had a really tough time. Tonight we went on the beach for a walk and then walked around the village admiring the Christmas lights. Finished with take away pizza from local Italian and wine whisky and mince pies. We will get through this.

Threelionsandalioness · 17/12/2020 21:47

@BettyCrockaShit thank you I've been a bit overwhelmed with it all today and that made me smile x
Op sending well wishes and although i don't have any advice just know you are not alone x

Original poster

outofthemoon · 17/12/2020 21:49

It's bearing it for other people that's so hard. I've been 7 hours on the phone today to fragile people I can't help. I had to stop work. It's endless. And I know they'll ring me through the night, and I rather they did than feel desolate, but I've run out of things to say.

OP posts:

NewlyGranny · 17/12/2020 21:49

I've been good for most of this but the last week or two I've felt like sitting down and howling, tbh. I'm only hanging on for seeing DD1 for a few days over Christmas. We will laugh until we cry - we always do - and the world will come right side up again. I hope it will for you, too.

londongirl12 · 17/12/2020 21:56

I'm isolating for the 2nd time due to someone at work testing positive. When my manager called to tell me, I burst into tears. And so did a few of my other colleagues in the same boat. Everyone is feeling crappy at the moment.

Eckhart · 17/12/2020 21:58

Who supports you, OP?

Drivingho · 17/12/2020 21:59

I’ve had a massive cry today. Never felt so low and had so many burdens to carry at once.
We can only drag ourselves through to the spring and hope there are some moments of joy and positivity on the way.

AllDoneIn · 17/12/2020 22:01

It would be weirder not having the odd hitting the wall day OP

SecretSantaSquirrels · 17/12/2020 22:02

@outofthemoon

It's bearing it for other people that's so hard. I've been 7 hours on the phone today to fragile people I can't help. I had to stop work. It's endless. And I know they'll ring me through the night, and I rather they did than feel desolate, but I've run out of things to say.

I agree it's watching loved ones suffer and struggle that's hardest.

FiveFootTwoEyesOfBlue · 17/12/2020 22:03

I've been 7 hours on the phone today to fragile people I can't help. I had to stop work. It's endless. And I know they'll ring me through the night

Wait a minute. You need to look after yourself too. You need to put up some boundaries otherwise you'll make yourself ill. Send a text saying you really need to get some sleep tonight and if they need to talk you'll talk in the morning. Then turn your phone off.

DressesWithPockets · 17/12/2020 22:07

It feels never-ending, it's hideous. I'm amazed when I talk to people who aren't hitting walls at the moment. Go easy on yourself.

QueenOfLabradors · 17/12/2020 22:09

@Eckhart

Who supports you, OP?

We do. We're the Nest Of Vipers, but we do look after our own.

Snuggle up OP, please turn on DND, your family need to understand that you need to sleep. A pre composed message might be useful - 'I love you so much but I absolutely need to rest, so many people including you need me to be strong and well'?

Something like this?

Original poster

outofthemoon · 17/12/2020 22:16

Thank you. I needed a good moan, that's all. I really can't turn my phone off to a very very old person, or a very young frightened person either.

I just don't know how to make them feel better. Vaccines seem a long way off, and not the end. Jobs have gone, and relationships. Self harm has happened in the past. So. And there are care workers and key workers and nurses in hospitals ten times more tired than me.

I just feel a bit useless. Run out of jokes and promises.

It's really nice to be able to say to you all 'It's horrible. I hate it. The end seems ages away.' Instead of being hopeful all the time. So thank you.

OP posts:

friendlycat · 17/12/2020 22:16

Keep remembering and reminding there is light at the end of the tunnel. The news is grim at the moment and not helped with Christmas a very emotional time. The media are also hamming it up which ramps it up as well.

But vaccines have been developed, they are here, they will be rolled out. Yes there is a lot of work to be done here but there is hope and the future WILL change. We will not be in this indefinitely. We just have to get through it. We can and we will. Others have before us and we will as well.

It feels bleak now but gradually with time it will get better. With further time it will be behind us.

TwentyViginti · 17/12/2020 22:18

@FiveFootTwoEyesOfBlue

I've been 7 hours on the phone today to fragile people I can't help. I had to stop work. It's endless. And I know they'll ring me through the night

Wait a minute. You need to look after yourself too. You need to put up some boundaries otherwise you'll make yourself ill. Send a text saying you really need to get some sleep tonight and if they need to talk you'll talk in the morning. Then turn your phone off.

Do this. You will become ill otherwise.

AcornAutumn · 17/12/2020 22:20

@saveforthat

Try and look for small pleasures. My partner and I have had a really tough time. Tonight we went on the beach for a walk and then walked around the village admiring the Christmas lights. Finished with take away pizza from local Italian and wine whisky and mince pies. We will get through this.

It really makes me think about where to live in future, that sounds good.

AcornAutumn · 17/12/2020 22:22

OP I take it you work for a service?

This is a reason I don’t call. I had a fair bit to drink last night and woke up feeling much better.