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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I am unreasonable. I've hit the pandemic wall today.

87 replies

outofthemoon · 17/12/2020 21:30

Today it feels endless. 3 members of my family are self isolating alone in different cities. They are miserable. I keep telling them soon it will be a different world but I don't believe it really.

Tell me to grow up or stop the self pity or something please.

OP posts:
Newgirls · 17/12/2020 22:23

Things will improve. Scientists are doing amazing things. NHS geniuses are busy giving vaccines. The gov is shit but hey. Look at the good people out there/the helpers (sorry is that a cheesy line from love actually?!).

Go outside tomorrow even if raining.

Please get some rest x

OhYouBadBadKitten · 17/12/2020 22:23

If you feel you are breaking a bit tonight then you must send them all a lovely 'good night, hang in there, I'll chat with you tomorrow' message and then rest yourself. You need to be ok too.

TooOldforBouncyCastles · 17/12/2020 22:25

I have some days where I feel as if I can’t bear anymore but invariably my mood levels and I have more resilience in a day or so. 2020 can just do one...you are perfectly entitled to feel the way you do

TurquoiseBaubles · 17/12/2020 22:25

I'm not going to tell you to grow up; in fact I'll join your pity party. Have a Wine and some Chocolate

It's awful, the whole thing. I'm lucky in that my elderly parents have conquered zoom so we will have a virtual Christmas, and if the weather is good enough possibly a coffee in a garden.

I agree you need boundaries. There is only so much you can do for others before needing support yourself. Ringing during the night isn't fair, so a message as suggested by QueenOfLabradors is a great idea.

As to when it will end - it was St Patrick's Day here (Ireland) when it all went to shit; I'm hoping by March 17th 2021 my parents (and other vulnerable people) will have been vaccinated and at least some things will be easier.

WFHWF · 17/12/2020 22:26

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

TurquoiseBaubles · 17/12/2020 22:27

I've found talking with dd (front line nurse at just about the end of her rope) that refusing to look past tomorrow helps. So we talk about Strictly, and watch films simultaneously in different countries, and sometimes reminisce or virtually travel. But we NEVER discuss when it will all be over, because it's just too far away.

MillieVanilla · 17/12/2020 22:28

I cried today when we got chucked in tier 3
It's only a small thing but I miss going to our village pub, seeing our mates, the Christmas kids party, going just before lunch on Christmas day. It all seems like it's never bloody ending.
I'm so stupidly emotional at the moment though. That McDonald's ad makes me choke up whenever it's on. Even Frankie Goes to Hollywood had me in bits today.

HannibalHayes · 17/12/2020 22:28

I thought you were going to say you were going out to several pubs without a mask and snogging everyone in sight with or without permission!

It's actually normal to feel that this is shit. It is shit. All that you can do is try your best, and make sure you look after yourself.

Yes, please try your best to look after everyone else, but please also don't forget to look after yourself. It is difficult for everyone. It's the selfish anti-maskers et al that keep making it worse for all of us.

But it's good that you realise it's taking a toll, so please look after yourself.

Original poster
outofthemoon · 17/12/2020 22:31

Tier 3 is grim, TurquoiseBaubles. We've been there for months, before and after lockdown. It's sad to see the pubs and places that have tried so hard shut down.

I still wake up in disbelief that it's really happening most days.

OP posts:
Blowingagale · 17/12/2020 22:33

Op
Is part of the pressure you supporting people at work? If so do talk to colleagues, manager or HR for support. MN is great but your employer has a duty of care. You can’t keep giving from nothing. Flowers

Potnoodleforbrains · 17/12/2020 22:34

I've got to go for surgery tomorrow, have done nothing for Christmas yet. 2020 can do one.

TooExtraImmatureCheddar · 17/12/2020 22:34

I cried yesterday because DD didn’t get a place in a class. She (and DS, and me) has been going to said class for 4 years and I have helped out like crazy, but apparently that’s not enough. I was furious and then I couldn’t sleep and then I started proper ugly sobbing until I woke DH up. It’s not about the class...not entirely, anyway. They’ve had a really shit time trying to keep the club alive with different restrictions every time you turn around, but it just hit a raw nerve. Life absolutely sucks and I hate it.

WhoseThatGirl · 17/12/2020 22:36

I know how you feel.
We have just been told we are remaining in tier 3. We are the one of the only places that has been locked down since March. I’m completely done.
I don’t even care if I catch it. I just want to be able to go to see friends and family.

LemonadeSunshine · 17/12/2020 22:37

Some coping strategies for the calls if you need to make contact could give you a breather. We've tried the following which have worked for various age groups;
1 'Watch' a movie / tv program together. Both watch at the same time, comment on it, talk through the ads, as if you were together.

2 Both read a chapter of the same book while not in contact then discuss during your next call, like your very own book club.
3 'Play' a board game as long as you both have the same version, you can email for printing if it's something like snakes and ladders or similar. Each take your turn and have both boards mirrored to show the same, The inevitable chaos is funny in it's own right!

These all take the pressure off trying to find something to talk about.
Hope these help a bit Flowers

Comtesse · 17/12/2020 22:41

Everyone loses it some days. Nothing unreasonable about that. It won’t be forever, don’t despair....

RedToothBrush · 17/12/2020 22:41

Name one person you know who hasn't hit the pandemic wall at some point.

You are allowed to. You are human.

Music is good for your soul. Put on your favourite record... and maybe share that...

Original poster
outofthemoon · 17/12/2020 22:42

No, I am freelance. Working from home, although with a team, but quite distantly. Work is my escape to be honest.

I am really lucky to have it, even though I've got behind these last 2 weeks.

It's the sadness and the helplessness. All the vaccine wonderful news gave people a real rush of hope and then the anticlimax came with the realisation that it was still in the distance. And illness, and other personal things. Just a dark stretch of time.

OP posts:
Original poster
outofthemoon · 17/12/2020 22:45

Lemonade, thank you. I will try the watching things together tomorrow, if I can get people organised into it.

OP posts:
HoofHeartedSanta · 17/12/2020 22:45

Sending a cyber treat & tipple/beverage that you like and a bag or two of peas to clamp to your ears. I think you’ve done excellent work getting everyone this far along Star zone out for a few mins with one of the many calming pod casts or apps.

derxa · 17/12/2020 22:46

OP Flowers I really hit the buffers today. I'm so out of kilter I fell victim to a scam today. My judgement is shot. I've had breast cancer surgery and treatment during this fucking pandemic and have no more energy left.

Judystilldreamsofhorses · 17/12/2020 22:47

I’ve also cried today. My DP has been made redundant and money is tight, we seem to be arguing all the time, my work is 100 x harder from home (also a lot of supporting people), and we moved up a tier on Tuesday.

We’re in Scotland and tier three is not quite as restricted as in England, so I know I shouldn’t moan - but I was SO looking forward to a boozy lunch with my friend at the weekend! I feel like everything is magnified 100 x by not being able to have a good chat with someone without it being a military operation/strategising risk beforehand.

AcornAutumn · 17/12/2020 22:48

OP why is your phone on at night?

Original poster
outofthemoon · 17/12/2020 22:52

Acorn

So people don't self harm themselves or wander out into the street in their dressing gowns crying . So they have someone to talk to a rockbottom o'clock in the morning when they become frightened of (last week) their chest of drawers. That sort of thing.

OP posts:
AcornAutumn · 17/12/2020 22:54

@outofthemoon

Acorn

So people don't self harm themselves or wander out into the street in their dressing gowns crying . So they have someone to talk to a rockbottom o'clock in the morning when they become frightened of (last week) their chest of drawers. That sort of thing.

OP

I am that person.

I had to be talked down by a neighbour (high rise).

That was after I rejected the option of running into traffic as you say.

I still think you have to look after you, or you will become me - and that won’t help anyone Flowers Best advice I can give - don’t become me!

Original poster
outofthemoon · 17/12/2020 22:56

Acorn, I am so sorry you feel that bad. Do you have anyone? What would help you?

OP posts: