To ask neighbours if digger can come through

[hobbeschild]

We'd like to build a swimming pool in our garden. Our side access is not wide enough for a mini-digger. Manually digging and shipping the dirt out will add thousands to the cost.

Our neighbours have a wide side-access right next to us, and if we took the adjoining fence down it would mean coming over a few metres of their land, gravel and a bit of grass (not the perfect lawn type) and removing a woodstore (not the precious type).

We would commit to put all their land and the fence back exactly how it was before and build a new woodstore (this would still be much cheaper). The digging will take about a week.

We will tell them they can use the pool whenever they wish, as long as we don't have visitors. They are lovely people in their 50s with grown-up kids. We have a good relationship but are not friends. In the past we used a friend's pool on this basis so we know what it's like to be on the other end of this arrangement.

If they say no we will probably not go ahead, so it's not like if they say no we'll build it anyway and not let them use it! We would say there's absolutely no obligation and it's just at the ideas stage, just getting a feel for cost.

Personally, if I could have the luxury of easy access to a pool with none of the responsibility I would jump at the chance!

I realise this is a relatively first-world and trivial problem compared to what a lot of people are going through at the moment, but if we're going to do it then we should now, before another restrictive year in terms of holidays and exercise opportunities.

How would you feel if you were the neighbour? AIBU to ask them?

Yanbu.
Worst they can do is say no.

You can ask, but they will probably say no.

If i were your neighbour i wouldnt agree to anything like this. There was a thread recently were a neighbour had asked the op for similar access, and it was pretty much unanimous in advising not to, due to the fact that if you give an inch, most people will take a mile.

YANBU to ask if you have a good relationship, YWBU to be annoyed if they say no

YANBU to ask.

I'd say no, though, because of the noise. I like peace when I'm in my garden.

It's all about how you ask I think. As long as they genuinely don't feel pressured and you acknowledge that it is in fact a big ask then I think it's OK to ask as long as you graciously accept a no if that's their response.

If I was your neighbour, I’d say yes, as long as you reinstated.

@generallygenial

YANBU to ask if you have a good relationship, YWBU to be annoyed if they say no

God no, we would not be annoyed if they said no. I do worry it would put a strain on the relationship and I wouldn't mean it to.

I don't think it would be unreasonable to ask, but just be aware they may say no.

A digger will make a heck of a mess in winter, and however well you tidy it will look awful until April. I’d not want it (and it’s the time of year they’d want their logs in the log store too, surely?). If you asked me in summer I’d probably say ok, but not now.

@ScottishStottie

You can ask, but they will probably say no.

If i were your neighbour i wouldnt agree to anything like this. There was a thread recently were a neighbour had asked the op for similar access, and it was pretty much unanimous in advising not to, due to the fact that if you give an inch, most people will take a mile.

Yes, perhaps an agreement in writing before we start

You may as well ask. Worst they can say is no.

Not sure I'd include the part about allowed usage though. What if they have a party and other people wreck your pool by being sick in it and stuff? It's yours, you'd have to clean it. It's doubtful that they would, maybe they'd be decent and would do it, but I wouldn't want to risk that.

I think there is no harm in asking.

I would say no though and I wouldn’t want to use a neighbours pool so that wouldn’t help.

Yeah I'd ask but I wouldn't be telling them they can use it whenever they want, you're already going to put their garden right and build them a new woodstore

I would ask for a favour, say it was a big one, and then hand over a letter for them to read and think about for a day or two before asking you any further questions and/or answering.

I'd let you do it providing we had an agreement in writing - I'd advise you to make sure that the agreement for us of the pool is for them only and should they sell the house it does not imply access for future owners

I'd bite your hand off for a chance to use the pool occasionally. :)

I'd be horrified to be asked that by a neighbour I was on good terms with -- just be aware that they may resent feeling put on the spot by the fact that you won't build the pool if they don't allow the access, however much you say 'No pressure.'

Like a pp, I wouldn't in the least want to use a neighbour's pool, so that would be no inducement.

I think you're also being a bit gung-ho about the damage caused by a digger, even if you reseed or returf -- we've recently had one in our garden, and it looks like the aftermath of the Battle of the Somme.

Sure, ask them, but only if you're prepared for a possible alteration in relations with the neighbours, who may of course not want you to have a pool at all, however it's constructed.

I wouldn't put them on the spot by asking in person unless you say what you would like to do, say what is required of them and then give them time to think about it.

I also wouldn't try bribing them with the promise of access to your pool. If anything, I would think about what is in it for them (as they aren't your friends). If doing it this way will save you thousands, why don't you offer them half of what you will save as compensation for the disruption to their lives?

I would say no anyway as I just wouldn't want the upheaval of having the fence, turf, gravel and wood store moved, the noise and the mess. I also don't trust workmen to do the work in the time they say. In addition I would worry about having children shrieking in the pool as you plan to have visitors to it.

I might say yes (subject to written agreement including guaranteed date to get my garden back and penalty clause if not met), but I'd want compensation for the disruption. Free use of the pool might be compensation but might not. I wouldn't feel comfortable using the pool of a neighbour I wasn't friends with, so I'd be putting up with disruption for several weeks in exchange for a "benefit" I wouldn't enjoy.

Have you checked if you need planning permission?

You can ask but I wouldn't say they can use the pool, it could come back and bite you in the arse if they end up using it when it's not convenient for you (not necessarily just when you don't have visitors, which I imagine is most of the time).

As others have said, if they agree, put it in writing exactly what is expected on both sides.

I’d hAve no issue with this Op, an agreement saying you’ll put right is good. Ask them, don’t let anyone on here put you off.

I was the neighbour. I allowed this and they wrecked my garden, and my peace of mind for the entire summer of 2015. Promised lots including use and never put it in place.

The only things I did to upset them was a) asked the workmen not to start at 6:30am on a Sunday b) queried why the adjoining wall to my property - that allowed light into my garden - was 18” higher than it was on the plans I’d agreed to and c) totally lost my shit at the 14/15th screaming hot tub party that they’d situated (again against the plans near my bedroom window when I had the norovirus)

We were friends, we are barely polite now. If I was advising your neighbours I’d say definitely do not allow this!!!

No harm in asking.

Why not offer them cash, rather than pool access?

I would say yes, so long as it was reinstated and there was an agreement that none of the rest of my garden would be affected. Any workmen trampling willy nilly over the lawn etc would be shot at dawn.