To ask neighbours if digger can come through

[hobbeschild]

We'd like to build a swimming pool in our garden. Our side access is not wide enough for a mini-digger. Manually digging and shipping the dirt out will add thousands to the cost.

Our neighbours have a wide side-access right next to us, and if we took the adjoining fence down it would mean coming over a few metres of their land, gravel and a bit of grass (not the perfect lawn type) and removing a woodstore (not the precious type).

We would commit to put all their land and the fence back exactly how it was before and build a new woodstore (this would still be much cheaper). The digging will take about a week.

We will tell them they can use the pool whenever they wish, as long as we don't have visitors. They are lovely people in their 50s with grown-up kids. We have a good relationship but are not friends. In the past we used a friend's pool on this basis so we know what it's like to be on the other end of this arrangement.

If they say no we will probably not go ahead, so it's not like if they say no we'll build it anyway and not let them use it! We would say there's absolutely no obligation and it's just at the ideas stage, just getting a feel for cost.

Personally, if I could have the luxury of easy access to a pool with none of the responsibility I would jump at the chance!

I realise this is a relatively first-world and trivial problem compared to what a lot of people are going through at the moment, but if we're going to do it then we should now, before another restrictive year in terms of holidays and exercise opportunities.

How would you feel if you were the neighbour? AIBU to ask them?

A big hell no from me and I am pretty easy going with my ndn. I have let them out stuff in my skip, come around and reduce the height of a bay tree and pretended not to notice that their summer house is slightly over 2.5 metres high but no way would I want a digger tearing up my garden.
It isn’t as though it would just need access once. It will be weeks of backwards and forwards as tonnes of earth are ferried though the access point.

Do check to see if you need planning permission. Most won’t but in some cases you will need it. Plus building regulations will apply if you are going to enclose and heat it.
One more thing to bear in mind is that an outdoor pool will often devalue your property and make it harder to sell in the future.

I'd think that you were total CFs if you ask me. Quite an imposition.

@Bluntness100

Honestly jist ask them op, on here people don’t let their neighbours do anything.

Ask them, don’t offer use of pool say you’ll give written agreement to make good and then price up using a crane if they say no. Don’t offer them loads of money. Decent neighbours who you have a good relationship with would say yes. I certainly would

That's ridiculous. Decent neighbours with whom you have a good relationship would probably have no hesitation in allowing reasonable access for necessary works -- we will be doing a massive clearout in our garden next year, with a digger to move the ruins of a Victorian summerhouse, and will certainly ask our neighbours (who are the middle house of a terrace of three with no access to their back garden except through the house) if they want to take down the fence and do anything to their house or garden that would be made easier by being able to use our garden as access.

But asking your neighbour to allow their garden to be damaged by large machinery and their woodshed knocked down and rebuilt, and to endure noise, mess and lack of privacy for some time for a project that's only of benefit to you and which will potentially make their garden less pleasant to use -- that's waaay beyond what is normal to expect of 'decent neighbours'.

@alllyralalala not just a question of taking one down - all three buildings one behind the other, which are substantial wooden buildings and connected. It's a massive job to deconstruct them, and where do we put all the bikes, gym equipment, mower, etc. in winter?

Their woodstore is a waist-height plywood lean-to with peeled off waterproofing - I think they'd love to be given a new one. It can easily be rebuilt in another place temporarily and then replaced with new.

On the other side we have a new wooden garage, bikestore and shed taking up the side access

Personally, I'd think that's a bit cheeky if a neighbour expected me to have my garden disrupted, when you have side access without disturbing me. Why should you ask me to disturb my garden - and it would be for a lot longer than a week! when you could just use your side access - you'd need to take down your garage etc. But you're proposing almost as much disruption to your neighbours.

I’d say no then I’d feel uncomfortable for ever more for having been put in that position. Sorry.

I'd say yes if my neighbours asked me this, but I would want it in writing that it would be put back to how it was before, with photos so there was no argument about how it looked.

I'd do this without being told I could use it whenever I wanted though, but occasional use would be good.

You can ask. They might say no or feel pressured to. In their shoes, I wouldn't want to use a neighbour's pool.

Don't underestimate the inconvenience and damage a digger might cause. We agreed in similar circumstances to allow a neighbour to do this, including removing our fence and a digger coming in. Really regretted it. Caused so much damage, including to plants, that could not be reinstated as was. Plus it took way longer than even the neighbours expected and we lost use of the garden in that time. Strained our relationship with the neighbours.

You can ask but please don't underestimate the impact on your neighbours. I agree with the other poster about giving an inch and having someone take a mile. Certainly the case for us!

I’d present it as - we’d like to x. We will save y. If you will rent us access, we’ll give you half of y.

Why on earth did you block your decent side access with all those structures?

Yes, but it's their wood store.

I just don't get it. They are adults with their own minds.

If the aibu had been to drive a digger in while they were on holiday I could understand.

The aibu is to ask the question. Best case the agree, worst the don't.

If I were you neighbour I would be confused if you didn't ask as it's the obvious solution.

@MiddlesexGirl we didn't foresee needing to get anything wider than 1m through.

I don't see any harm in asking them. Personally I'd say yes. I wouldn't offer them access to the pool as part of the agreement though

Is there no way/nowhere you could crane in an excavator?

I’m a civil engineer, I manage earthworks all the time. Even a mini digger will cause a lot of damage at this time of year would be terrible even with running board/track mats/bog mats/call them what you will. If you’re going to do it, wait until the garden has had a few weeks of sunshine on it.

I have to say, I’m inclined to agree with pp who say that using the pool whoever the neighbours want, if you don’t have visitors is not that much of a bribe. Surely, the Sunny times you’ll be using it/have visitors are likely to be the times your neighbours will want to use it?

Christ. What's with all the sheds?

I'd just ask them but I wouldn't be offering free use of the pool whenever they like.

What will you do if they are in it for hours each day?

Pro’s for this - doing it now when they are less likely to be using their garden is ideal. Any later than say February then you run the risk of nice spring weather and they could be using the garden which would make this more inconvenient

Con’s - you do come across like a bit of a CF in that you could cause yourself some inconvenience and dismantle your own buildings to make way for this but instead you want to inconvenience your neighbour. Your response of where to put things, have you ever heard of storage?

I don’t think you mean it this way but the comments about allowing them to use the pool do come across strange. Like you are in some way superior to them and they should be grateful for the scraps of being allowed to use your pool when you are not

I used to work for a swimming pool contractor and what they used to do with large equipment (mini diggers, new hot tubs etc) was to crane them in/out over the house.

Would that be an option?

Whilst we can all see that your buildings are more permanent features than their woodstore, I don't think there's any way to suggest demolishing any item of their property to avoid damaging yours without risking serious offence. And as I said upthread, I'm one who intially thought you might as well ask them.

I also wouldn’t offer anytime use of the pool, just tell them they’ll get regular invitations

No harm in asking. I’d just agree to make any damage good.

Sheds = 1 shed, 1 bikeshed, 1 gym. Not my choice, my husband's! So please don't judge.

I'll enquire about a crane, thanks.

I'm not going to ask the neighbours. I don't want to taint our relationship. And they do have dogs. Thank you everybody.

Yes to a crane - no need to inconvenience your neighbours at all !

Judging by what my lawn is like atm you'd have to buy me a new lawn if a digger had been going in and out for a week. It wouldn't withstand that at all.

I'm not sure that use of the swimming pool would be an incentive. I'd feel too awkward to ask not to mention awkward swimming with the young girls who live next door to me. Cash is better perhaps £x per day of disruption.