Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask neighbours if digger can come through

201 replies

hobbeschild · 17/12/2020 11:29

We'd like to build a swimming pool in our garden. Our side access is not wide enough for a mini-digger. Manually digging and shipping the dirt out will add thousands to the cost.

Our neighbours have a wide side-access right next to us, and if we took the adjoining fence down it would mean coming over a few metres of their land, gravel and a bit of grass (not the perfect lawn type) and removing a woodstore (not the precious type).

We would commit to put all their land and the fence back exactly how it was before and build a new woodstore (this would still be much cheaper). The digging will take about a week.

We will tell them they can use the pool whenever they wish, as long as we don't have visitors. They are lovely people in their 50s with grown-up kids. We have a good relationship but are not friends. In the past we used a friend's pool on this basis so we know what it's like to be on the other end of this arrangement.

If they say no we will probably not go ahead, so it's not like if they say no we'll build it anyway and not let them use it! We would say there's absolutely no obligation and it's just at the ideas stage, just getting a feel for cost.

Personally, if I could have the luxury of easy access to a pool with none of the responsibility I would jump at the chance!

I realise this is a relatively first-world and trivial problem compared to what a lot of people are going through at the moment, but if we're going to do it then we should now, before another restrictive year in terms of holidays and exercise opportunities.

How would you feel if you were the neighbour? AIBU to ask them?

OP posts:
hobbeschild · 17/12/2020 15:23

@MatildaonaWaltzer not touching the tree! The perspective has foreshortened that scene and made it look narrow but it's not, it's about 3 metres from our house to that gazebo (the sheds are on the other side).

OP posts:
QuietlyExcited · 17/12/2020 15:24

We have dogs so it would be a no from me. I see they have dogs too.

Another point to consider, swimming pools can cause issues when selling. Lots of people don't like them and they are a danger for young families. We had one at a previous house and we filled it in as it was giving me nightmares about the children.

SonEtLumiere · 17/12/2020 15:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BikeRunSki · 17/12/2020 15:28

[quote hobbeschild]@BikeRunSki regarding a crane - it's not just a case of lifting the digger in, what about getting all the earth out to the road?[/quote]
Crane it out in skips?

I obviously don’t know the layout of yours and your neighbours’ properties, just trying to suggest some alternative methods to consider.

MatildaonaWaltzer · 17/12/2020 15:29

@hobbeschild building a pool would be a gloriously elaborate way to get rid of the troublesome leyllandi type tree Xmas Grin

Oodlesofnoodles20 · 17/12/2020 15:31

Can you not get a doorway digger in?

Oodlesofnoodles20 · 17/12/2020 15:33

A doorway digger can fit through a standard size door and dig to a depth of 1.6m.

hobbeschild · 17/12/2020 15:33

@BikeRunSki thanks for suggestions.

@MatildaonaWaltzer Xmas Shock

OP posts:
ItRubsTheLotionOnItsSkin · 17/12/2020 15:33

I can't believe you just took a photo of your neighbour's woodstore and posted it on the internet with basically "look, their shed is shit and ours are really nice" Shock

Apart from that, if I was the neighbour I would say no simply because of the noise aspect so close to my house (noise of using the pool, especially DC, not the building)

AmICrazyorWhat2 · 17/12/2020 15:33

I’m another rate one who’d be delighted that you were building a pool and offering me access to it. But then I love swimming!

I agree with all the posters saying it needs to be in writing, etc. and perhaps even offer them some cash. Although personally, you wouldn’t need to offer me cash, just an hour’s use of the pool to swim laps three times a week.😄

AmICrazyorWhat2 · 17/12/2020 15:34

*rare

hobbeschild · 17/12/2020 15:35

@Oodlesofnoodles20 etc., the man who quoted did an airsucking face at the passage past the outbuildings. It's windey. We'll do a bit more research, thanks.

OP posts:
Brakebackcyclebot · 17/12/2020 15:35

If I were your neighbour I would say yes, so long as there was a written agreement to reinstate (with photos).

I wouldn't expect pool access either.

hobbeschild · 17/12/2020 15:37

@ItRubsTheLotionOnItsSkin I knew someone was going to say that. What was I supposed to do when lots of people were shocked I wouldn't take down my "sheds"? Whereas anyone in their right mind would be happy if someone offered to replace the woodstore with brand new. I am not judging it, it is a perfectly cute woodstore. But the two dismantlements do not compare.

OP posts:
Laiste · 17/12/2020 15:41

@Laiste

The digger will be one trip in and one trip out when the digging is finished.

It's not the digger which will be shifting the earth off the property.

How are you picturing/organising the earth removal? Because there will be TONS of it (trust me we're shifting similar amounts at the mo) and it won't be the digger going backwards and forwards with bucket loads.

You're going to need lots and lots of skips, or a make mountains of the soil/clay/sand/rocks (what ever you find down there) out front for a few grabber lorry loads.

Is it going to be men with wheelbarrows shifting it? Or a dumper truck? Are they all going to be going through the neighbours garden as well?

Just repeating :)
hobbeschild · 17/12/2020 15:44

Hi @Laiste.

I agree, digger once in and once out. No way I'd consider a dumper truck across neighbour's. Possibly the wheelbarrows will fit down our side path. I will have to clarify with the contractor.

OP posts:
2bazookas · 17/12/2020 15:49

I would ask them for the access, with the promise of restitution and a new woodstore, but leaving out the "lifetime free use of pool" offer. Instead, I would offer a one -off generous cash compensation for inconvenience (say a thousand, or two).

   If they agree and you get the pool, then  you can still invite them to use  it occasionally but with out having committed yourselves.
lalafafa · 17/12/2020 15:51

we had a mini digger through our front door for the garden, we're in a terrace. You cn get some 75cm wide.

Whattimeisdinner · 17/12/2020 15:52

What was I supposed to do when lots of people were shocked I wouldn't take down my "sheds"? Whereas anyone in their right mind would be happy if someone offered to replace the woodstore with brand new. I am not judging it, it is a perfectly cute woodstore. But the two dismantlements do not compare.

They don’t compare but one is not yours to dismantle.
I would be quite happy if I was offered a new wood store in exchange for old so you can only ask.
It’s a good offer.

Laiste · 17/12/2020 15:55

If you can get the wheelbarrows down your path it would be good.

We have added two story extensions to both sides of our house. On one side we had to lower the garden to the same level as the rest of the land. We're managing the whole thing ourselves as DH and i are doing the bulk of the work. We had to do this before digging the foundations. It didn't look like much. A gentle slope over apx 10 meters.

There is SO much more soil than you think once you start shifting it. I drove the digger (a one point something ton digger so a bit bigger than the tiny 1 meter wide ones) and it took AGES. We underestimated massively how much soil 'fluffs up' once you start digging it out and we ended up having ELEVEN visits from a 10 ton grabber lorry plus a few skips.

Shock The £££££ !

Just - whatever you picture it costing and whatever mess you imagine - treble it all and expect it could be even worse, and you wont be in for such a shock.
Flowers and good luck :)

BouncyTigger85 · 17/12/2020 15:58

Could they crane it over the house if the neighbours say no? Will be expensive, but I presume cheaper than manual digging still as obviously pools are relatively large.

MrsClatterbuck · 17/12/2020 16:00

You can ask but I would definitely not offer them the use of the pool as that could backfire spectacularly and lead to very frosty relations. Reinstating everything is enough. Who knows what their adult children are like and who they would bring around. Also do bear in mind some people are people pleasers by nature and saying no could be stressful for them.

minipie · 17/12/2020 16:07

Are you saying you have 1m side access? If so there are mini diggers available that can get in there. Having had a quick google the narrowest available is about 0.7m wide and will go through a standard doorway.

This. We live in a terrace and had a mini digger come through our front door.

I would investigate every way to do it on your own land first, rather than trying to do a deal with the neighbours that is likely to end up with one of you feeling hard done by.

viques · 17/12/2020 16:15

[quote hobbeschild]@ItRubsTheLotionOnItsSkin I knew someone was going to say that. What was I supposed to do when lots of people were shocked I wouldn't take down my "sheds"? Whereas anyone in their right mind would be happy if someone offered to replace the woodstore with brand new. I am not judging it, it is a perfectly cute woodstore. But the two dismantlements do not compare.[/quote]
Actually, anyone in their right mind would have dug the pool and done anything else in their garden before they built their new garage, new shed, new wood store.

Just saying.

Grin
funinthesun19 · 17/12/2020 16:18

YANBU. If I was your neighbour I would let you do it.

I don’t think you need offer them access to the swimming pool though if you go ahead with it.

Swipe left for the next trending thread