What things do you find rude that others don’t seem to?

[TheRaccoon]

I’ll go first:

• People who season food before they’ve tried it
• People who take ages to text back (or don’t at all)
• People who are late for no reason

@KatherineJaneway

Both parties were pissed off, but i agree with the waiter. I'm sure he would have preferred no tip at all.

Yes. If their funds were running low, there was always fast food as an alternative.

That's exactly what I thought, actually; there are plenty of fast food to be had in Florida, I'll be bound.

I would have been embarrassed to leave a shitty tip like that.

The thing that gets me is that some people (as this thread demonstrates) think it's fine to make no effort to talk to people you don't already know at e.g. a wedding or something (which is horrible for people who don't know many/any others there), or to only make conversation about a specific topic (maybe a hobby, or football or work-based stuff) but it's considered terribly rude for the person or people they're ignoring/excluding to start reading a book or paper. I did actually get a newspaper out once after about 20 mins of cycling-based chat and rejection of all attempts to get the conversation more general. It's always puzzled me why one is rude and not the other. I feel like 'don't mind me, discuss your bottom brackets to your heart's content and I'll read'. I'm quite extrovert but with the best will in the world, it can be impossible to join in conversations requiring specific knowledge or interest. It's interesting that phones are slightly more acceptable, judging by the dads at kids' parties on them throughout (possibly price checking bottom brackets).

@blueshoes

I think I'd be fine with please at the end of the sentence without a question mark at the end. It is the tone of that question mark. I find it is people who write colloquially who do it.

Like I say, my dh disagrees with me.

But the question mark is there because it is a question.

Can't see what the problem is.

Technically, it's not a question because that would be inviting the person to say 'no.'

@MsTSwift

That is so unfair! I literally cannot help being a loud sneezer. My mother is too and was sent out of a geography lesson for it and is still pissed off at the injustice of that and she is 70 plus!

Ha my DH is a loud sneezer, he also insists that he can’t sneeze quietly and that I’m ‘unhealthy’ by holding it in

Yet if I am quiet as cba I get “are you ok?” 🙄. My role is to keep the conversation going it seems 🙄

I think if your norm is talkative, people who know you will ask if you're ok if quiet. But if your norm is quiet, people presumably get used to it.

If someone doesn't feel that chatty one time, even if they normally are outgoing, that's ok too.

[quote CrotchBurn]@MedusasBadHairDay
I think you're missing the point, the point is that its rude because we could all just do that, and then the entire room would fall silent and nothing would happen. Most people except for the most hardcore extroverts would prefer to sit back in their chair and just take in the flow. But its lazy to do that, and its rude because you are actively relying on people making effort so you dont have to[/quote]
I wondered if this happened whether it would matter really, if that is what people want to do. If a room fell silent, and no one did anything, what would be the fall out of that.

I have a few friends and a sibling who I can not imagine ever falling silent though.

It would be weird and mortifying for the hosts. Imagine if in a wedding dining hall everyone was just silent because they couldn’t be arsed to make conversation!

People who begin loading their shopping onto the conveyor belt at the supermarket check out before I’ve finished putting mine on. Obviously not happening at present due to Covid queuing restrictions, but i find it really rude.

Depends. I would find it rude to make others wait who are behind me when there is ample room for me to put my items on and enough for the person ahead of me especially when it’s busy. I don’t mind waiting but the others behind me are likely not.

@MsTSwift

Really? You think it’s ok to sit in silence at a social event you have chosen to attend and to let others (who are not all extroverts btw) make all the social effort? Come on. Not fair.

The whole point of my post was that we have become so loud and talkative a race and want everyone to keep pace, even if it’s rubbish talk. Small talk is not what introverts do. They simply haven’t got the capacity. I agree everyone should make an effort but I don’t agree that they should keep a conversation going in a group.

@Gandalf456

Technically, it's not a question because that would be inviting the person to say 'no.'

But then they can say no? If someone is asking with a please at the end, you can still say no??

I am not particularly extrovert myself and definitely recharge by being on my own but was brought up by a mother with excellent social skills herself and was drummed into me to think how others feel, make conversation, listen properly and don’t wang on endlessly about yourself. So yes to me not participating at all at a social event does seem rather off as it then falls to others to make more of an effort with conversation. But that makes me an evil disablist bigot apparently 🙄

@MsTSwift
😂
In the kindest possible way, it’s obvious from your very first post that you are not an extrovert. You are an introvert with an outer mask and that is tedious for you.
In all honesty, I think you do have a point but it doesn’t allow you to expect certain behaviours from others. Some close and honest friends once pointed out to me that when I am talking out of social necessity, I say a lot of rubbish too. It might be the case with you. May be other introverts have noticed and have been trying to give you time to recover in their own?
I know how to do small talk and I can talk on my favourite topics for hours. Both make me tired drained.

Fortunately I now only have to socialise with people I actually like - a relief!

@MsTSwift

Fortunately I now only have to socialise with people I actually like - a relief!

That is another point: if you don’t like someone, it will upset you to have to do small talk, or probably any type of discussion, with them. It will also be quite obvious (remember you are an introvert!).

@MsTSwift

It would be weird and mortifying for the hosts. Imagine if in a wedding dining hall everyone was just silent because they couldn’t be arsed to make conversation!

I really don't think anywhere would be genuinely silent! Just a few degrees quieter maybe.

@Andante57

People who are late for no reason

Op surely everyone thinks that’s rude, op?

The people who’re late obviously don’t think that way.

Those who talk non stop & go off like a bastard machine gun every few minutes. I know you love the sound of your own voice, but I don’t so I’ll remain quiet in the hope that you take the hint. Actually I’m an Olympic talker, but I do pause for breath, try it & give others a chance to shine.

People who say ‘what?’ All the time instead of pardon.

So rude

My brother called my new baby law (lorna) I called him Dave which he hates, he got the message she's been Lorna ever since and he's back to David

People who say ‘what?’ All the time instead of pardon.

Both are acceptable. It differs by region and class.

People who say 'pardon', instead of 'what'. It makes me cringe so badly for them, every time.

@poppy990

People who say ‘what?’ All the time instead of pardon.

So rude

No. Both fine. It can just be a regional difference. It doesn't mean that all people in one region are rude while in others they aren't.

19:43Ameanstreakamilewide

Milkshake7489

People who start their meal before everyone else's food has arrived. It gives me the rage (even though I'm not sure why!).

My lovely inlaws all do this and I quietly seethe blush

But, presumably, wouldn't their food would be getting cold?

It's just considered good manners to wait for other diners. If the delay was such that there was a risk of food becoming cold, you would probably get away with 'Do you mind if I start?'

19:54Sexnotgender

TheRaccoon

I’ll go first:

• People who season food before they’ve tried it
• People who take ages to text back (or don’t at all)
• People who are late for no reason

None of these are controversial.

The title is, I believe, what things do you find rude that others don't seem to?

I would say arguing with someone's opinion in a post that asks for people's opinion is rude.

Just an observation, but if someone really is saying “what” or “pardon” all the time, perhaps they should be encouraged to get their hearing checked.