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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder why the f* people still think vaccines cause autism?

691 replies

coolitcathy · 16/12/2020 16:18

Name changed for privacy reasons.

Stumbled across a Facebook group about "parents against vaccines" a few minutes ago which suggested, nay STATED, that vaccines cause autism and are essentially poison. I think the hysteria is potentially getting worse due to this Covid vaccination that's getting rolled out at the mo. Is anyone still infuriated or is the anger dying down now as we all get distracted by something else happening? Also why is autism seen as such a bad thing?

(If you're anti vax I'm open to you sharing your viewpoints but I haven't seen any information that makes me consider that outlook)

OP posts:
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Kaliorphic · 17/12/2020 18:40

It's not compassion. It's ableism

No. It's not. It really isn't. But I get that you absolutely cannot understand that.

ForestNymph · 17/12/2020 18:41

@Kaliorphic

we are only sorry that society doesn't see our value.

Gosh this conversation really does go right round in circles doesn't it. The lack of acknowledgement that people's experiences are really quite different doesn't seem to come into it at all.

I'm not saying no one has a different experience. I feel like you aren't hearing what myself and @heydoggee are saying. A NT vs ND communication issue perhaps? Idk.
cantdothisnow1 · 17/12/2020 18:44

@ForestNymph

I agree entirely with your post.

People probably think I don't have difficulties due to me being positive about autism but I've got scars from where my son bit me during severe meltdowns. But that isn't HIS fault, or due to him being autistic even - its due to him being excluded from school because they couldn't support him and they kept triggering his meltdowns, and then locked him in a room, meaning he was terrified.

The issue is society isn't just not designed for autistics, in some cases its actively designed to make things really hard for us.

Moved his setting and I haven't been bit for 9 months. Before it was a daily thing.

so what about society causes my son to have meltdowns and to bite hit and kick me when he is not regulated?

As I've said he is out of school, and has spent the most of the last 4 years in his bedroom.

He can have a meltdown when i ask him to eat or have a drink. These are basic needs for the human body to survive, not societal expectations.

Kaliorphic · 17/12/2020 18:45

I'm not saying no one has a different experience. I feel like you aren't hearing what myself and @heydoggee are saying. A NT vs ND communication issue perhaps? Idk

I can hear what you're saying. I simply don't agree with you. Anyway I'm ducking out of this now. It's just going round in circles.

Duggeehugs82 · 17/12/2020 18:45

Unless u have lived my life i personally dont think anyone has a right to tell me what i should think of feel.

AnySauces · 17/12/2020 18:46

My DC was fine until they had the 3 in one BCG shot. They got so hot, so ill and then started staring into space, zoning out, eyes going weird. I think it have them autism. If i could rewind time I would give the shots separately if at all.
Definitely dont trust the covid vaccine.

ForestNymph · 17/12/2020 18:47

Do you know whats causing the meltdowns when you ask? Behaviour is always a communication, sometimes subconscious. Is it that he is interrupted? Is it that he isn't hungry? It depends on why, and then you can work on it.

My son sometimes struggles with transition and he has to wait until something is finished. So if he's watching say, a 20 minute episode of a cartoon, he has to wait until its finished and cant stop for food 15 minutes in otherwise he will melt down.

ForestNymph · 17/12/2020 18:48

@cantdothisnow1 that should've been a reply, sorry, quotes aren't working properly

heydoggee · 17/12/2020 18:49

@Duggeehugs82

Unless u have lived my life i personally dont think anyone has a right to tell me what i should think of feel.
None of us are trying to.
bumbleymummy · 17/12/2020 18:50

The BCG is a TB vaccine. It’s usually a single vaccine, not combined with anything else.

ForestNymph · 17/12/2020 18:51

No one is trying to judge. I understand I may come off as a bit abrasive but 1) I am autistic myself and subtlety isn't one of my strong points and 2) It is hurtful to read some of what people say about autistic people.

We want the same thing to a degree. I want more support for parents. I don't want you to feel shit or trapped or like your life is ruined. But be angry at the system rather than blaming autism as a whole.

cantdothisnow1 · 17/12/2020 18:52

@ForestNymph

Do you know whats causing the meltdowns when you ask? Behaviour is always a communication, sometimes subconscious. Is it that he is interrupted? Is it that he isn't hungry? It depends on why, and then you can work on it.

My son sometimes struggles with transition and he has to wait until something is finished. So if he's watching say, a 20 minute episode of a cartoon, he has to wait until its finished and cant stop for food 15 minutes in otherwise he will melt down.

he's non verbal when melting down.

Doesn't want to talk about it after.

He can goes days with out food/ drink poor interoception.

Has been clincally dehydrated before. I have to intercept.

cantdothisnow1 · 17/12/2020 18:52

And before you ask we pay for a private OT.

ForestNymph · 17/12/2020 18:54

Would a visual communication help or having set times? E.g knowing at 6pm he has some food and having it written on a white board or pictoral graph or something. As a kid I used to get "spooked" if I wasn't expecting something and someone suddenly started talking to me, usually if I was reading a book or on the computer or something. It would make me feel a bit sick like I'd gone down a roller coaster and I remember it triggering a few meltdowns. Perhaps it is similar?

cantdothisnow1 · 17/12/2020 18:55

rejects all support like that. Doesn't care. This means he's different. He won't acknowledge his autism.

He's 14 years old. He thinks this is treating him like a baby.

cantdothisnow1 · 17/12/2020 18:56

I've tried EVERYTHING with the assistance and advice of a very qualified OT.

cantdothisnow1 · 17/12/2020 18:57

thanks for your suggestions though, i don't mean to be dismissive of you. It's just exhausting.

ForestNymph · 17/12/2020 18:58

@cantdothisnow1

I've tried EVERYTHING with the assistance and advice of a very qualified OT.
He's probably rebelling against it, doesn't want to acknowledge his diagnosis. In which case it will be difficult until he comes to terms with it, and I sympathise, it can't be easy.
ForestNymph · 17/12/2020 18:58

@cantdothisnow1

thanks for your suggestions though, i don't mean to be dismissive of you. It's just exhausting.
Its fine, I get it. It can get annoying when people suggest things you've already tried. People used to do it about bedtime because my sons are non sleepers and I've already tried everything
cantdothisnow1 · 17/12/2020 19:00

It's been 4 years. No help from CAMHS because anxiety and depression are normal for people on the autism spectrum. We've paid for private CBT/ psychology, he won't engage.

We have good days and bad days and I won't apologise for wishing the bad days away. At least he's not currently trying to kill himself. That's my biggest fear.

Duggeehugs82 · 17/12/2020 19:00

Well u r judging when u say that saying acknowledgment from how hard life is is somewhat ablest. Life is hard. Im sorry people with autism struggle to hear that.

cantdothisnow1 · 17/12/2020 19:00

oh yes my daughter is a non sleeper. She's never slept. I know all about that.

Babysharkdoodoodood · 17/12/2020 19:01

I got suckered by wakefield Sad DS1 had his final jabs, had massive fits, hospitalised and diagnosed autistic/adhd down the line when he got older. At the time it made sense to me.

But......
With DS2 I didn't NOT immunise him. Instead I went private and got him all the jabs done separately. Cost me a fortune as well. Then when he was quite a bit older ( when I came to my senses) he had the MMR final shots.

But he's autistic as well along with ODDConfused So pretty comprehensive that it was probably genetic. I'm slightly autistic with dyslexia and dyspraxia.

But there's no way I would leave them unprotected.

tropicalwaterdiver · 17/12/2020 19:07

It's not the vaccine per se but aluminium adjuvant that causes the problem. If you know the history of vaccines, you probably know that pure vaccine doesn't trigger a strong immune response but with adjuvant they do.
I am not anti-vaccine but I am strongly anti-toxins.
All toxins around us which we eat, drink, inhale and inject affect us on cellular level and if liver cannot detox properly kids and adults have health problems incl. Mental
Health, degenerative conditions, so called "autoimmune" conditions, cancer and so on.

ForestNymph · 17/12/2020 19:11

@cantdothisnow1

It's been 4 years. No help from CAMHS because anxiety and depression are normal for people on the autism spectrum. We've paid for private CBT/ psychology, he won't engage.

We have good days and bad days and I won't apologise for wishing the bad days away. At least he's not currently trying to kill himself. That's my biggest fear.

CAMHS are so shit. I saw them from age of 12-16. They missed entirely that I was autistic and were just generally atrocious.

Its a difficult age, I remember at that age I wasn't interested in engaging either. I was angry at the world and thought they were conspiring against me.

I really hope it improves. I used to self harm and made a couple of attempts back then. I don't like talking about it but I got through it and haven't ever returned to that thought process - I hope that gives you some hope that he may also find some peace in his mind.