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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask if you and/or people you know would have stopped?

149 replies

Lesserspottedmama · 15/12/2020 19:25

My friend was telling me earlier about something that happened to her a few years ago.. she went for a run on a country back road and twisted her ankle.. she was limping along in agony a long way from home and trying to flag down a car. She said 4(!) cars passed her by.. it was the sort of road you had to go really slowly down so it’s not like they could whizz past her. They had to drive past her at 5-10mph ignoring her. She said they were all men aged between 40-60. A 5th car stopped and it was a young man who couldn’t have been much older than 19. He was very kind and dropped her home which was a 5 min drive away.

Would you have stopped if you saw a female runner in running gear limping and trying to flag you down? No judgement, just curious.
I would have, so would my husband, my parents and brother. I believe many of my friends would. I was surprised to hear so many cars passed by without stopping. She said it was about 8am so perhaps they didn’t want to be late for work. I would’ve stopped regardless. I understand some have had past experiences which would make them more reluctant though.

OP posts:
Royalbloo · 15/12/2020 19:27

Friends of mine have told me they absolutely wouldn't as they're worried about being accused of something. That may sound silly but as soon as you've clicked the person, then had the doubt, you're gone and probably don't think about it again. Taxi?

Royalbloo · 15/12/2020 19:27

Or some sort of scam where someone pretends they need help and get jumped - people just won't pick anyone up these days.

ColdCottage · 15/12/2020 19:28

Yes

Royalbloo · 15/12/2020 19:30

I would have stopped but I'm a naive bat and take little old ladies home from Tesco when it's raining Grin

Flvq · 15/12/2020 19:31

No because I would have thought it was a scam of some sort.

vintageyoda · 15/12/2020 19:34

I would have given her a lift. I live in the country and we are lucky enough to have a really friendly community.

SkedaddIe · 15/12/2020 19:36

Yes but I can see why people don't

thinkfast · 15/12/2020 19:37

I live in London. I most likely wouldn't have stopped. I would have assumed it was probably some kind of scam and would've been too nervous.

DreadingSeason2020sFinale · 15/12/2020 19:53

I would.

I once went alone out at 2am to the pitch black A road that went past our isolated house and drove up and down to track down the screaming and female voice that woke me up. The road wasn't for pedestrians and anyone walking on it would be in real danger.

Turned out to be a very, very drunk young girl dressed entirely in black (and couldn't be seen on the road) who was maybe 13 or 14 at the most. She was wailing and crying when I finally tracked her down and wouldn't get in the car so I ended up putting my hazards on and phoning the police to get her.

DontStopThinkingAboutTomorrow · 15/12/2020 19:56

If someone tried to flag me down in my town, I'd probably call the police to assist them. I'd be wary of it being scam.

lastqueenofscotland · 15/12/2020 19:57

Honestly no, I’d assume some sort of ulterior motive

YakkityYakYakYak · 15/12/2020 20:13

I like to think I would stop but it would be in the back of my mind that it might be some kind of scam. I wouldn’t stop if DD was in the car with me, although I think I’d try to send help if that was the case.

When I was 18 I was walking through a quiet shopping street in the city centre at night when some muggers came at me and threatened to stab me (they were just teenagers and probably wouldn’t have actually done anything but it felt pretty scary at the time), I ran for the road shouting for help but had about 4 or 5 cars drive past and completely ignore me. They were also driving really slow so could easily see I needed help. Luckily I wasn’t too far from home and ran all the way back. I remember being more shocked at the realisation that most people aren’t interested in helping someone in distress, than I was at being mugged.

StoneofDestiny · 15/12/2020 20:15

Yes - definitely would have stopped

Shmithecat2 · 15/12/2020 20:15

Only if DH or another adult was with me. Not if I was alone or with DS, for all the reasons already given above.

BoomBoomsCousin · 15/12/2020 20:19

If they were just limping rather than passed out unconscious on the side of the road or bleeding profusely or something I would have stopped if I had the time to help but not if I had any sort of time pressure. (If it was the sort of place where another car wouldn't pass for a couple of hours I would probably have stopped anyway).

Pipandmum · 15/12/2020 20:22

No not if I was in my own. I would think the possibility of a scam. But I would have pulled over a ways on and called the police to say there may be an injured person.
Sorry it's too bad people assume the worst but that's the world we live in.

WorraLiberty · 15/12/2020 20:22

I would've thought possible scam because who doesn't go running without their mobile?

HeyManIJustWantSomeMuesli · 15/12/2020 20:23

Certainly would offer a lift if I were on my own. If I had DC in the car I would've stopped to offer use of my phone or something, not sure if I'd offer a lift but reasonably likely. I can understand why people wouldn't offer a lift but think it pretty shit that someone wouldn't slow down with doors locked and open the window enough to offer assistance of some sort (to ring someone to collect them etc).

RufustheSniggeringReindeer · 15/12/2020 20:26

Yes i would have stopped

I stopped a year or so ago when i saw a junior school aged child walking down a busy road with not much on it

It was pouring with rain and during school hours

I think its a bit harder when its a grownup, though a female wouldn’t worry me as much as a male would

I was driving a while back and some bloke was lying down in the middle of the road, it was like every horror movie played in my head at the same time 😀

PinkYellowTinsel · 15/12/2020 20:26

No I wouldn't stop.

I once had a young woman bang on the door saying she needed to use a phone as hers had been stolen. I was home alone at the time (in bed) so opened the window from upstairs to see who was at the door.

She kept glancing down the alleyway near our house, and I just got a bad feeling. I said I'd call for her (if she shouted the number) and she kept insisting i went downstairs and opened the door. When I refused she told me to 'fuck off' and shouted down the alley 'nee good here'.

I called the police, but apparently there wasn't anything they could do. I stayed with my parents until my husband came back from a work trip.

It's sad but because of that, I wouldn't help anyone in case it was a scam.

yahyahs22 · 15/12/2020 20:26

Without a doubt in my mind

PillowPrincess · 15/12/2020 20:27

Im a woman and i would not have stopped nor flagged strangers cars i would have called friends, family or uber..i wouldnt leave him
.i would not get into cars of strangers, thats mad.

I imagine men are worried of her being part of a gang and that its a ploy.

iamtheoneandonlyyy · 15/12/2020 20:27

My brother and me came off of his motorbike and I was lying in the road with a broken kneecap. Four cars slowed down to look and a Royal Mail van. No help offered at all

EveningOverRooftops · 15/12/2020 20:28

I have stopped and offered to call taxis for people before. I absolutely haven’t taken anyone if I’m solo. Have if I’m with someone. Picked up hitchhikers etc no problem. Just not solo.

rosegoldivy · 15/12/2020 20:28

No chance. I would assume it was part of a ruse and I was about to be murdered horribly with my body burned and buried and never to be seem again (sorry been binge watching criminal minds)