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AIBU?

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Original poster

to ask if you and/or people you know would have stopped?

149 replies

Lesserspottedmama · 15/12/2020 19:25

My friend was telling me earlier about something that happened to her a few years ago.. she went for a run on a country back road and twisted her ankle.. she was limping along in agony a long way from home and trying to flag down a car. She said 4(!) cars passed her by.. it was the sort of road you had to go really slowly down so it’s not like they could whizz past her. They had to drive past her at 5-10mph ignoring her. She said they were all men aged between 40-60. A 5th car stopped and it was a young man who couldn’t have been much older than 19. He was very kind and dropped her home which was a 5 min drive away.

Would you have stopped if you saw a female runner in running gear limping and trying to flag you down? No judgement, just curious.
I would have, so would my husband, my parents and brother. I believe many of my friends would. I was surprised to hear so many cars passed by without stopping. She said it was about 8am so perhaps they didn’t want to be late for work. I would’ve stopped regardless. I understand some have had past experiences which would make them more reluctant though.

OP posts:
LizzieMacQueen · 15/12/2020 20:28

Have you seen Killing Eve? Maybe they're worried she'll pull a shotgun on them.

firesong · 15/12/2020 20:28

Yes. It depends though on other factors such as: I'm often running late for work Blush, or perhaps not noticed until I had passed. But generally yes, I think I would stop and offer help.

Peanutbutterblood · 15/12/2020 20:33

I would..... I live rurally, my house is one of 2 in a couple of miles radius, earlier in the summer i saw someone limping down the road out of the window so went out and asked if she was okay. She was grateful but she'd already called her boyfriend to come and pick her up

Slightly different but I also once passed a young'ish girl walking on her own, she had a school uniform on and I just got a vibe something was off. I pulled over and she'd run away from school due to bullying. She called her mum from my mobile and I waited with her until she came, I wouldn't have felt comfortable putting a young stranger in my car but i was happy to wait

PillowPrincess · 15/12/2020 20:33

I wouldn't leave him=i wouldn't leave home without a charged up mobile

PinGwyn · 15/12/2020 20:33

Honestly, I might have stopped in a busy area to offer my phone or to call for help but I wouldn't have taken her in my car.

I have listened to waaaaaay too many true crime podcasts though...

Jellycatspyjamas · 15/12/2020 20:34

I don’t think men would have stopped I’m guessing in case she accused them of something untoward. In all honesty I’d be more likely to call the police for assistance than to stop myself either - I’m pretty cautious about stopping for random adults though I have stopped in similar circumstances with an injured teenager.

Plussizejumpsuit · 15/12/2020 20:36

I would stop. But I think loads of people think they would. I'm fairly certain I actually would though. I've previously got involved to check people are OK etc when in public.

MoreRainbowsPlease · 15/12/2020 20:39

I would definately have stopped and asked if she was ok, then depending on the vibe I got from her answer I would either have called someone for her, or offered a lift. I would be more likely to do the lift option if I had another adult in the car with me. I wouldn't necessarily have got out of my car straightaway, but you can talk to someone with a window down and doors locked until you feel comfortable with the situation.

dayswithaY · 15/12/2020 20:39

I think it's very easy for your husband, parents and brother to all say yes, they would have stopped, no question. If you are actually in that situation it's much harder as you have only a couple of seconds to make a assessment and decide what to do. Lots of factors come into play, one of the most common is I just want to keep driving and not get involved.

As a woman you have to look after yourself. I would never flag down a passing car and get in next to a stranger. We have mobile phones now, it's called progress.

Grenlei · 15/12/2020 20:40

If with my DP, I would and have stopped in a similar situation. But if I was on my own, I wouldn't because 'injured woman' is an established scam, sadly - and I know if on his own my DP probably wouldn't stop either. I would have tried to stop somewhere up the road and called the police non emergency number or similar to see if they could send someone out to help.

SallyCinnamonYoureMyWorld · 15/12/2020 20:41

I would have said a definite yes, before I became a bit jaded and cynical! I think an obvious injury, I would probably pull over and offer to phone someone and wait there with her. But, I don't know if I'd let her in my car. I live in a naice town in the Home Counties and we have even had carjackings here. The fact she looks and sounds like a nice woman probably wouldn't sway me either, as I've been scammed by similar before when I lived in a big city abroad.

HMSBeagle · 15/12/2020 20:41

If it was in the middle of nowhere during the light then I would have locked my doors and wound the window a inch and tried to suss out the situation. The safest thing would be to phone my dh to tell someone before unlocking the door.

Fred and Rose West would defo spring to my mind and a ambush but I wouldn't ignore her, neither would I stop with gay abandon.

On a road with cars passing I do and have stopped but never been I situation to invite a stranger into my car.

grassisjeweled · 15/12/2020 20:41

I would now, yes. But I'm older and live abroad

SarahAndQuack · 15/12/2020 20:43

I would stop around here, because people do. We're quite rural and it is the norm. When my DD was a baby I used to walk with her in the sling, and people would constantly stop to check I was ok and didn't need a lift. DP and I have both often stopped for people. But, round here, I can't imagine it'd be worthwhile to pretend it was a scam - there are lots of roads whose average daily traffic is something like five tractors, two horses and a bloke on a bike, so you could be waiting ages pretending to limp!

SarahAndQuack · 15/12/2020 20:44

(And I know which areas round here don't have great mobile reception - there are definitely places where I know you can't get a signal, so obviously you worry more there.)

Morgan12 · 15/12/2020 20:47

No chance.

Tardigrade001 · 15/12/2020 20:47

Yes, I would have stopped. I used to hitch-hike when I was younger (different country).

Chanjer · 15/12/2020 20:51

Me and my partner were walking along the street once, heard some super weird sound like a wounded animal and we were looking about for a dog when we realised the sound was coming from a woman up ahead.

As we approached she started having a seizure and a fairly busy London streets worth of people just ignored her. Me and my partner stopped and then everyone wanted to get involved

People are weird

Eifhsg · 15/12/2020 20:54

Nope. I've been on the receiving end of some of the awfulness people are capable of inflicting.

I would and have call(ed) the police/emergency services if I had concerns about someone, but I would not put myself in harm's way.

Youarenothere · 15/12/2020 20:58

Would have stopped. I’m pretty confident in my ability to spot a scam /danger though, and wouldn’t want to not help through blind fear of others.

EmbarrassingAdmissions · 15/12/2020 21:00

It would depend on who else was with me.

I'd be less confident about doing it solo. A cousin picked up a man in difficulties and ended up robbed and stabbed (relatively minor, could have been far worse).

ItStartedWithAKiss241 · 15/12/2020 21:03

This is why those scam Facebook stories about “my grandad pulled over and the young lady was actually a wolf and ate him” are so harmful, people in real help don’t get it as we are all so scared of each other. X

SarahAndQuack · 15/12/2020 21:08

@ItStartedWithAKiss241

This is why those scam Facebook stories about “my grandad pulled over and the young lady was actually a wolf and ate him” are so harmful, people in real help don’t get it as we are all so scared of each other. X
This is so true. My cousin's wife is a massive believer in these stories and shares all of those 'if you see a baby seat in the road it is a scam ... if you see a woman wearing red it is a scam' things. I've shown her Snopes but she still believes every single one of them.
Dannydevitoiloveyourart · 15/12/2020 21:10

I would have stopped but I’m overly trusting sometimes. It’s bizarre as I wouldn’t open my door in the night if someone knocked but I wasn’t expecting them. However, I’ve got involved in many potentially dangerous situations, including when there was a girl stood at knifepoint in my street before (afterwards I thought wtf I could have been killed but luckily the young man was young enough to be scared off by my dressing down rather than a seasoned criminal).

That said, I’ve been in situations where I needed help but the only people willing to help were teenagers (and all I wanted was for them to make a call for me not do anything difficult or potentially compromising).

nancybotwinbloom · 15/12/2020 21:10

Yes I would have but I live in Liverpool and we all stop and all help everyone. It's just what out city is like.

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