DH used my wrapping paper

[YippeeKayakOtherBuckets]

And it’s tipped me over the fucking edge. I’m aware of how ridiculous that sounds.

DH buys and wraps the presents for his brothers and I do mine plus his SILs’ and MIL’s. Just the way it’s always been. I enjoy wrapping and am a bit of a ponce about it.

This year I had gorgeous, thick, expensive printed brown paper from Paperchase, contrasting tags and a selection of ribbon. I’ve done all of his gifts, the kids and most of my families but I’m still waiting for a couple of parcels.

While I was at work yesterday he wrapped his stuff. We’d had a conversation earlier in the week about there being tons of leftover wrap from previous years in the garage. I got back from work in the small hours.

Came down this morning to a pile of beautifully wrapped gifts for his brothers in MY paper. Leaving me with half a scrap.

He was SO pleased with himself for wrapping stuff before the eleventh hour (we are famously disorganised) and crowed about the prettiness of the paper. I picked up the remaining scrap and burst into tears. I now have the choice of ordering more (it took a week last time) or having to give family groups mismatched wrapping. Yes I can hear myself.

I think that this Christmas has been so weird already and we’ve missed out on so much that this was the straw that broke me. I can’t even look at him.

Please tell me about your ridiculous Christmas tantrums this year to make me feel better. I’m ok with not seeing family, I’m ok with no Father Christmas visits or illuminations or markets. I’m fucking fucked off that my wrapping paper has been used up.

@CherryPavlova

To be honest and at risk of all manner of ill tempered comments, I’ve rarely heard anything quite so silly to get knotted underwear about.

A married couple have separate wrapping paper? Really? I don’t know how relationships survive at all if it comes down to being distressed by such non issues.

It’s not about having separate wrapping paper. It’s about one party being prepared and putting in the effort and the other party swooping in and being a thoughtless CF without doing any of the prep work. There was a comment further upthread which likened it to making a cake which hit the nail on the head.

What may be a non issue to you isn’t necessarily a non issue to someone else.

I've been mega stressed all week about the wrapping, not the paper, just trying to find time to get it done. I've got stockings and mum, dad, Dh, mil, fil and one friend to do. It's not much but my backs in agony after doing it and I have to do my mum and dad's for them aswell. I've got most of my kids done now though thank god! I cried last Xmas day after cooking and tidying up most of the day and just didn't get to sit down. I think it was the adrenaline and stress of the lead up coming out! This year I've paid for takeaway Xmas lunch from our favourite restaurant as a present to myself!

Could you not leave the in law’s presents to your OH? Bit less for you to worry about.

Above comment for @MinnieJackson

And stop talking about a damn hierarchy! !!! Your parents are not more important than his brothers/sisters shock

Of course they are...to her!!

Honestly, people do talk complete shit.

OP, I think your're completely fucking bonkers, but frankly who isn't, and at least you realise it!

I thought Id done really well wrapping all the presents way in advance as soon as I'd bought them.

I bought all the same wrapping and I didn't label because I didn't want the insatiably curious "hound dogs" DCs quietly sniffing them out before Christmas and trying to guess the contents.

So I put them in distinctly different picture bags, one for each person so that only I would know who they were for.

While I was out DH decided make more space in the room I was stashing them in and carefully transferred most of them to one much bigger bag, neatly folding up the individual picture bags for later use as "they look very useful".
Yes. They blooming well were!!

I ordered our wrapping paper, for both of us to wrap whatever presents need wrapping. Why did you only buy enough for half of the presents.

Me and DH share things, we both sometimes do shopping and when we do will always make sure we get what the other needs and not just for ourselves. What is it on mumsnet where couples have their own food, their own snack stashes and now their own wrapping paper. Selfish.

@MinnieJackson, I hear you. I used to grind my teeth when MIL used to say, its only a meal for goodness sake. Its not, its trying to research and decide on the right presents within a budget, Christmas cards, end of term Xmas Events in the run up, the decs the tree, menu planning, shopping shopping shopping .... argggh. No wonder you need a day off on boxing day! Our DC are older and we've tapered off on some of this and this year for first time in years its just us and DC!! (with zoom calls) so it will be more relaxed and apparently all of them are happy with this. It means we can go for a nice walk together on the day. I hope you get your day of peace, sounds like you've earned it.

My mother used to be in charge of wrapping etc when I was young, but we'd have one big bag full of paper that anyone could use - all decent quality & reasonably tasteful. But rather than all the gifts for one person in the same paper we would go out of our way to ensure everyone had different paper for all their presents (and all with tags matching the paper of course).

That way, Christmas morning there would be a bright colourful melange of gifts under the tree all jumbled up, which we found much more exciting than everything looking the same or similarly themed/coloured.

Oh OP, I totally get it. You are not being unreasonable.

My tantrum story

It is not this year, but four years ago, after losing my DM and with my DF at deaths door, we had been invited to MIL for Christmas. We decided to do presents for DC at home and then drive to MIL (3 hour drive but it was easier than planning the re-routing of Santa). On Christmas morning DH mentioned that actually, we would not be having dinner in MIL's house, we would be going to SIL and her PIL would be there too and possibly her SIL and her BIL and all of their DC. I sat on the floor and cried, and I told DH he had ruined Christmas (it was nothing to do with DH) and I told DH that it was the worst Christmas morning since the one when I was a child, that my DF got drunk, had a huge shouting match with my DM and left the house for the day, resulting in all of us sitting frantic with worry. So OP, I totally understand overreactions.

Good news - we survived the tantrum, I apologised, DH apologised (for telling me on Christmas morning instead of 2 days earlier when he found out) and we decided to never put stress on ourselves again at Christmas - never easy at the best of times, but very difficult this year.

Try to find some nice paper somewhere, put on some Christmas music, and wrap your presents.

@TheYearOfSmallThings

Tell him he has to give you £45 for new wrapping paper.

That actually made me laugh out loud. Quite Brilliant!

I would be interested to know when you sign off these presents who are they from??
If the ones you get are only from you and the ones he gets are only from him, then I could understand your problem, but if they are from the family then I think YABU.
Also if you know the presents being given, why would only get enough for yourself?
Do you both do the same with other things like finances, cooking etc?
Obviously wrapping paper seems to mean a lot to ppl so maybe I don't get it, but if you feel that strongly go and get him to buy some more and

Dh buys the presents for his brothers and dad as they all like the same obscure music based stuff.

I choose gifts for his mum, his brothers wives and all my family. I also wrap the main presents for the kids. Father Christmas doesn’t wrap presents in this house and stocking fillers are small things including underwear and deodorant.

Dh chooses to use the leftover wrap usually as neither he or his siblings care much for aesthetics.

I had wanted both my sisters in law to have beautifully wrapped stuff as they appreciate it. But now half of sil1’s stuff is in cheapo wrap and half in penguins with a beautiful hand tied bow. And her husband’s are poorly wrapped in beautiful paper. And some of the DC’s tree presents will be in different wrap.

Literally no one but me cares about this. Fuck it, I’m not even sure I care that much 🤣.

I work in hospitality and spent the last few months organising and planning other people’s Christmas parties which have pretty much all now been cancelled, and I have an amazing Christmas Day planned for work which is on the ropes if we move up a tier. It’s meant I’ve been more hands off at home this year and Wrapgate felt like one more thing that’s been taken away.

Anyway I had a good cry into my gin while watching Hallmark films last night and I’m over it now. Mostly.

Anyway I had a good cry into my gin while watching Hallmark films last night and I’m over it now. Mostly.

@binkyblinky

I don't buy expensive paper, but I do make sure that each of my three children has their gifts wrapped with their 'own' paper , hubby took a roll I had kept by for one son and used it for all his nieces, so now two sons will have their present piles with their own paper and one some will have two types - I'm annoyed!

I do the same!

So I don’t have to sit there for hours writing dead xxxx love from Santa/mummy and daddy.

@YippeeKayakOtherBuckets

Dh buys the presents for his brothers and dad as they all like the same obscure music based stuff.

I choose gifts for his mum, his brothers wives and all my family. I also wrap the main presents for the kids. Father Christmas doesn’t wrap presents in this house and stocking fillers are small things including underwear and deodorant.

Dh chooses to use the leftover wrap usually as neither he or his siblings care much for aesthetics.

I had wanted both my sisters in law to have beautifully wrapped stuff as they appreciate it. But now half of sil1’s stuff is in cheapo wrap and half in penguins with a beautiful hand tied bow. And her husband’s are poorly wrapped in beautiful paper. And some of the DC’s tree presents will be in different wrap.

Literally no one but me cares about this. Fuck it, I’m not even sure I care that much 🤣.

I work in hospitality and spent the last few months organising and planning other people’s Christmas parties which have pretty much all now been cancelled, and I have an amazing Christmas Day planned for work which is on the ropes if we move up a tier. It’s meant I’ve been more hands off at home this year and Wrapgate felt like one more thing that’s been taken away.

Anyway I had a good cry into my gin while watching Hallmark films last night and I’m over it now. Mostly.

If you still need a cry to get all the way over it might I suggest The Bishop’s Wife? It’s on Prime television. Lovely film.