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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

My DH just sold a house warming gift we received on Ebay without telling me.

95 replies

Lauracrazygirl · 14/12/2020 07:06

So my dad gave us a beautiful wine rack as a house warming present (moved into our house 2 years ago).
Unfortunately its really big and we couldn't find a place to put it. So I put it in a cupboard and kinda forgot about it.

My husband said today "hey, you know that wine rack we don't use, I've sold it on Ebay do you think it's ok just to wrap it in bubble wrap or should I get a box?"

I was taken aback, why didn't he check with me first before selling it? Yeah we don't use it but it was a gift from my dad.

Am I right to be annoyed?

OP posts:

Cherrytreepuddle · 14/12/2020 07:11

I couldn't get annoyed about someone getting rid of something I have never used and have no space for, but I don't place much attachment on stuff.

CrotchBurn · 14/12/2020 07:11

Mmmmmmmyeah technically he should have asked you, but also this big wine rack was taking up an entire cupboard for two years?

Maybe he's been waiting for you to deal with it but after two years just got fed up? What were you planning on doing with it?

But I did vote YANBU because I absolutely see where you are coming from

AaronPurr · 14/12/2020 07:14

I can see why he didn't check with you, and I wouldn't be annoyed at him. It's been unused for the last 2 years, taking up space and you admit you had pretty much forgotten about it.

DryRoastPeanut · 14/12/2020 07:25

He was not wrong, but I totally understand your anger. But there’s no point having it and not using it.

Buy a small wine rack with the proceeds and tell your dad it was too big to use.

Bagelsandbrie · 14/12/2020 07:27

You’ve had it stashed away for 2 years and have no space for it. It’s not sentimental is it? I would have sold it too.

OffredOfjune · 14/12/2020 07:28

He should have asked, but you clearly don't really care about it.

TheSockMonster · 14/12/2020 07:29

I think he was being unreasonable not to tell you he was planning to sell it.

However, I don’t think he was being at all unreasonable to want it sold.

vanillandhoney · 14/12/2020 07:31

What's the point in keeping something you have no space for and never use?

WitchesBritchesPumpkinPants · 14/12/2020 07:32

Of course he should have asked you. I'd have told him no he hadn't just sold it, he'd better make things right with the 'buyer' but it wasn't for sale. Idiot.

Pepperama · 14/12/2020 07:32

He may not have remembered where it came from or didn’t realise it’d be meaningful to you if it’s just been sat there. Don’t think I’d be annoyed but might say ‘can you just check with me before flogging joint things on eBay. I know we didn’t use it but that was from my dad for housewarming so I was quite attached to it’ or something like that .

AccidentallyOnPurpose · 14/12/2020 07:38

You weren't using it.
It was stashed in a cupboard.
You forgot about it.
You can't claim it has some great sentimental value now.
It's a wine rack ffs.

Tell him to check next time before he puts it up for sale but there's no reason to be annoyed.

Roselilly36 · 14/12/2020 07:42

He should have asked you first.

Original poster

Lauracrazygirl · 14/12/2020 07:42

@Pepperama

I think you reply is the most reasonable,

I think it's less about the wine rack and more about the act of selling something without checking with me first.

I would definitely check with my husband before I sold anything that I didn't personally own.

Also I have a hard time getting rid of gifts especially if its family who give it to me.

OP posts:

Singinginshower · 14/12/2020 07:43

He is unreasonable for not checking with you first

Wife2b · 14/12/2020 07:43

I’d be a little annoyed but probably happy too that it will no longer be taking up space. It’s not sentimental and better going to someone who will use it. Could you not buy one of similar style but smaller?

picklemewalnuts · 14/12/2020 07:43

Putting it in a cupboard and forgetting about it doesn't mean you don't care. It means it's safely stashed until you move somewhere bigger.

I'd agree it should be talked about. I'd even suggest you discuss it being withdrawn from sale.

Osteomancer · 14/12/2020 07:44

@Bagelsandbrie

You’ve had it stashed away for 2 years and have no space for it. It’s not sentimental is it? I would have sold it too.

That's not how sentimental works

AaronPurr · 14/12/2020 07:44

I would definitely check with my husband before I sold anything that I didn't personally own.

If it was a house waming gift then surely it was a joint gift?

grisen · 14/12/2020 07:48

[quote Lauracrazygirl]@Pepperama

I think you reply is the most reasonable,

I think it's less about the wine rack and more about the act of selling something without checking with me first.

I would definitely check with my husband before I sold anything that I didn't personally own.

Also I have a hard time getting rid of gifts especially if its family who give it to me.[/quote]
Purely because of your last statement, I think YABU. It seems like he knew you’d struggle to say yes to selling it and therefore it would take up cupboard space forever.

kowari · 14/12/2020 07:50

He should have checked with you first. However as long as the giver is still alive then it would be a bit odd to get sentimental about a wine rack you don't use.

MrDarcyismines · 14/12/2020 07:50

If he hadn't of told you, you wouldn't have known. So you are being unreasonable!

I have a rule if something hasn't been used within a year, it goes! 2 years is too long!

gottakeeponmovin · 14/12/2020 07:51

I wish my husband would do stuff like this. Just proactively dealing with shit instead of always asking me !

Kokosrieksts · 14/12/2020 07:51

2 years of clutter? He had enough and had the energy to deal with it, he told you before sending it out anyway, you could technically still stop it if it meant the world to you. But really I would thank him.

MrDarcyismines · 14/12/2020 07:51

[quote Lauracrazygirl]@Pepperama

I think you reply is the most reasonable,

I think it's less about the wine rack and more about the act of selling something without checking with me first.

I would definitely check with my husband before I sold anything that I didn't personally own.

Also I have a hard time getting rid of gifts especially if its family who give it to me.[/quote]
But he did own it as you said it was given to "us"

Santaisironingwrappingpaper · 14/12/2020 07:52

I hope you are going to be benefiting from the cash op!! My dh sold something I had paid for and tried to keep the money!!
Nice try bozo...

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