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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to boycott FIL birthday?

93 replies

husbandcallsmepickle · 12/12/2020 19:58

My FIL birthday is coming up and he has decided he & MIL will come to our local pub to join me & DH for a few drinks at 6pm one evening this week. When I commented that we don't usually eat that early, DH said the plan was to order cheapest thing on the menu and not eat it, just have a few drinks.
This has really irritated me that he and his parents have this attitude to food when there are so many people who struggle to put food on the table.
I'm considering not actually going out as I will struggle watch them waste food.

OP posts:
JohnLapsleyParlabane · 12/12/2020 20:00

The pubs near me are taking a hard line on that sort of behaviour

Aquamarine1029 · 12/12/2020 20:02

You can't eat a little earlier for just one night? Confused

waitingforadulthood · 12/12/2020 20:04

I think that this is really shitty of them tbh. Wasteful, tick box rule following and insulting to the pub and chef.

wimhoffbreather · 12/12/2020 20:05

What are the rules where you are? Are you supposed to be mixing households?

I’d use that as an excuse instead if you can. Unless your real concern here is food waste and not that you hate your ILs Wink

Namechangeforthis111 · 12/12/2020 20:07

Don’t really get this?

Why not meet/eat later? Or compromise for one evening? Are you even allowed to all meet in your tier? What does dh want to do, it’s his dad?

HeddaGarbled · 12/12/2020 20:08

It’s his birthday - would it kill you to eat early this one time? I bet if you eat a light meal, they will too.

nancybotwinbloom · 12/12/2020 20:09

For one evening?

Sorry I think you Abu. It's only one night x

PotteringAlong · 12/12/2020 20:09

Just eat at 6pm, surely Confused

SandAndSea · 12/12/2020 20:10

Why not go hungry and actually eat the food?

ClearingSpaceOnTheTrophyShelf · 12/12/2020 20:11

I think it's rather mean of you, unless there's a backstory.
Birthday in lockdown is grim. People have had a miserable year. Can't you eat early for one night so you FIL can have a nice birthday evening?

Ohdoleavemealone · 12/12/2020 20:11

Alot of pubs are doing this here. Selling sausage and chips for £1.50 and saying as long as there is a little left on the plate, they won't take it and you can keep drinking.

As much as it wastes food, it also means bar staff can keep their jobs. Maybe think of it that way?

katy1213 · 12/12/2020 20:14

Why not go at 8pm and eat the food?

ItsLoisSangersFault · 12/12/2020 20:17

When I commented that we don't usually eat that early...

For that alone YABU

NailsNeedDoing · 12/12/2020 20:18

They just want to have a drink with their son to celebrate a birthday. It’s not their fault the world has gone crazy and our government has invented stupid rules.YABU

Plonque · 12/12/2020 20:18

Christ, it's 6pm not bloody 3 or 4pm (which I'd still do if it was a one off anyway!)

Original poster
husbandcallsmepickle · 12/12/2020 20:20

They are the ones who are planning on not eating. I'm more than happy to have a pub meal, regardless of the time. I only mentioned the time as that's why I found out they were planning on just having a drink and leaving their food.

OP posts:
MaverickDanger · 12/12/2020 20:20

By the time you order etc, I don’t think 6.30 is hugely early as a one off - and we typically eat about 8pm.

I feel like your FIL’s attitude is in response to your attitude towards not changing your plans for one day.

I’m assuming if you’re Tier Two, this will be outside so I probably wouldn’t want to be out much later.

Justmuddlingalong · 12/12/2020 20:21

Is there a good reason why you can't eat earlier for one night?

DartmoorChef · 12/12/2020 20:21

Yabu. Small independent pubs are massively struggling at the moment. They don't care if you leave the food. They need you to buy drinks.

I also don't see why you would be awkward about eating a bit earlier than usual. Its a birthday drink for a close relative.

Haffdonga · 12/12/2020 20:22

Go and eat yourself. I bet they'll eat what they've ordered if they're watching you munching away.

SunInTheSkyYouKnowHowIFeel · 12/12/2020 20:22

Don't see why you can't eat earlier just for once?
Are you in tier 1?

Pechanga · 12/12/2020 20:24

It's your FIL's birthday, why not eat a little earlier to enjoy celebrating with him?...at their suggestion they've offered to join you at your local, making it really convenient for you.

You seem determined to take offence and scupper their plans, using Covid restrictions as an excuse to drive them off.

Of course there'll be a huge backstory here...

NerrSnerr · 12/12/2020 20:26

I don't think the OP's actually issue is the time they're eating, she's annoyed because they're planning on ordering food and not eating it so they can have a drink.

nancybotwinbloom · 12/12/2020 20:29

Eat their food Grin

Fieldofyellowflowers · 12/12/2020 20:31

Wow, some people haven't read the whole post. OP's father in law isn't planning on eating anything. Just shoving the dishes of food aside so that he can have a few drinks in a pub. Basically trying to cheat the covid restrictions and wasting food in the process.

OP, I would be annoyed too. I work for a charity, giving out christmas hampers and vouchers to people who without this would not be able to afford a christmas dinner or toys for their kids. So it is annoying when people waste food. However, if it is going to cause trouble with your family, I would go and just be the bigger person by eating a meal.

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