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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to boycott FIL birthday?

93 replies

husbandcallsmepickle · 12/12/2020 19:58

My FIL birthday is coming up and he has decided he & MIL will come to our local pub to join me & DH for a few drinks at 6pm one evening this week. When I commented that we don't usually eat that early, DH said the plan was to order cheapest thing on the menu and not eat it, just have a few drinks.
This has really irritated me that he and his parents have this attitude to food when there are so many people who struggle to put food on the table.
I'm considering not actually going out as I will struggle watch them waste food.

OP posts:
jagoda · 12/12/2020 20:32

According to previous posts, OP lives in Essex, so you can't do this anyway OP Confused

FinallyHere · 12/12/2020 20:33

If you are in Tier 1, why not have a proper restaurant meal? In any other Tier, I get that it is FiL's birthday but really WTF?

Amanduh · 12/12/2020 20:37

You can’t meet other households though..?

HeddaGarbled · 12/12/2020 20:37

@nancybotwinbloom 😄

Toastandjam16 · 12/12/2020 20:38

It's the risk of catching Covid I would be put off by. Lots of people haven't been able to go out on their birthday this year, me included. But the health risk doesn't bother you, yet eating early is just unacceptable?

SupaTrooper · 12/12/2020 20:39

Why did you 'comment' that you don't eat that early? Surely when it's an event like someone's birthday you can be flexible.

Gardeniaofdelights · 12/12/2020 20:41

Can’t you just eat earlier and have a proper meal for the sake of not being a brat about celebrating your FIL’s birthday?

NotStayingIn · 12/12/2020 20:42

I find your comment that you don't usually eat that early really weird too. Reality check, IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU.

Trees2905 · 12/12/2020 20:44

I think you’re being a bit mean. Just have a drink with the poor guy on his birthday. And the pearl clutching over leaving food thing smacks a bit of my mum telling me ‘starving children in Africa would be grateful for that’ when she force fed me cold peas as a child, totally unhelpful to anyone. Give a tenner to a foodbank if you feel that strongly about it and chill out.

NotStayingIn · 12/12/2020 20:45

Ah wait sorry, I may have misunderstood. You didn't say that to your FIL? You just said that to your DH?

SeasonFinale · 12/12/2020 20:47

Why don't you just refuse to go because you aren't prepared to break the Tier 2 rules as in you cannot meet them anyway!

Fieldofyellowflowers · 12/12/2020 20:50

@Trees2905

People struggling for food is a lot closer to home than Africa. There will be people in this country who can't afford a christmas dinner this year, let alone be able to pay for a meal out. There will be children in this country this year who won't be opening a christmas present. So I would be a bit Hmm about people ordering a meal with no intention of eating it, just so that they can drink alcohol.

ShalomToYouJackie · 12/12/2020 20:51

I think people are entirely missing the point. OP doesn't mind eating early, it's the fact that the others are planning to order food they won't actually be eating to get around the rules of only being allowed alcohol with a meal in pubs/restaurants.

OP isn't it against rules to meet up with them indoors anyway? It's so wasteful and shitty of them to do that

Trousersareoverrated · 12/12/2020 20:52

I don’t see the problem really. I suspect the pub will be happy with them ordering some chips (which they will probably nibble on anyway) and you can eat your meal at 6. The purpose of the rule is to stop people from pub hopping (as they are unlikely to order a substantial meal in each pub) which it doesn’t sound like they are planning on doing anyway. Pubs need the money.

jagoda · 12/12/2020 20:55

I don’t see the problem really

But isn't it illegal?

nancybotwinbloom · 12/12/2020 20:55

It's one night. It's his birthday.

Tbh it's not unreasonable is it?

Have your tea at six.

How late do you eat?

I'd just go, have a starter if your not hungry or have an earlier luck so your hungry.

What is the problem unless there is a back story

sophiestew · 12/12/2020 21:05

Are you and your family completely disregarding the Covid Restrictions @husbandcallsmepickle?

I am a nurse in a very busy hospital.

Thanks a lot Angry

Amanduh · 12/12/2020 21:07

The problem is IT’S ILLEGAL (unless op has moved from Essex to Cornwall or the Isle of Wight) YOU CANNOT MEET OTHER PEOPLE?! Today the shops and restaurant were full of friends shopping and eating together. Bizarre. Do you all not understand???

HeddaGarbled · 12/12/2020 21:09

I only mentioned the time as that's why I found out they were planning on just having a drink and leaving their food

Except that it indicates your attitude to your in-laws and the event and so makes me cautious about your version of the conversation and suspicious of your crowd-pleasing outrage.

userxx · 12/12/2020 21:13

Just make up an excuse as it sounds like you don't like them 🤷‍♂️

Everydayimhuffling · 12/12/2020 21:19

If you are fine with the risk of going, then just eat your food. I bet they will eat at least some of theirs if you are eating, no matter what they were originally planning. I'd warn your DH that you think the waste of food/money is silly and suggest that you all or at least the two of you eat it. He can then decide if he wants to talk to them about it or not bother.

Original poster
husbandcallsmepickle · 12/12/2020 21:51

Thank you @Nerrsnerr and @Fieldofyellowflowers for actually reading this properly. So many people missing the point.

OP posts:
1FootInTheRave · 12/12/2020 21:58

You sound petty and unkind.

LtJudyHopps · 12/12/2020 22:06

Oh fgs where does it say they are planning on eating indoors in a tier 2 pub? Even if they are in Essex they could sit outside.
OP they’re probably ‘giving it the big’un’ and saying they’ll order food and not eat it. When it comes down to it they’ll probably order something and at least eat some of it. There are people doing this clearly, hopefully they won’t.

Ihateezoflora · 13/12/2020 03:33

I think YABVU and would be causing a big conflict for real reason.