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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to boycott FIL birthday?

93 replies

husbandcallsmepickle · 12/12/2020 19:58

My FIL birthday is coming up and he has decided he & MIL will come to our local pub to join me & DH for a few drinks at 6pm one evening this week. When I commented that we don't usually eat that early, DH said the plan was to order cheapest thing on the menu and not eat it, just have a few drinks.
This has really irritated me that he and his parents have this attitude to food when there are so many people who struggle to put food on the table.
I'm considering not actually going out as I will struggle watch them waste food.

OP posts:

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 13/12/2020 11:51

YANBU. There’s something distasteful about their desperation to drink in the pub that they’re willing to waste food/money and probably breach the rules.

Porridgeoat · 13/12/2020 11:52

You can sit on two parallel tables so close by enough to talk

WeeDangerousSpike · 13/12/2020 11:54

@Porridgeoat

You can sit on two parallel tables so close by enough to talk

Can you? Isn't that what thingy from sky news has got in trouble for doing?

Fairyliz · 13/12/2020 11:58

Do you really think when the food is put in front of them they won’t eat it? Surely most people won’t be able to resist it.
Even if they don’t eat it ‘poor’ people won’t get any more food. If you don’t go it just means staff are more likely to lose their jobs and become poor people.

Joinedjustforthispost · 13/12/2020 12:05

You sound very controlling and like you don’t like your fil. It’s one evening !

Scottishskifun · 13/12/2020 12:21

I wouldn't go but on the grounds that it's breaking because unless you are outside or tier 1.

Onjnmoeiejducwoapy · 13/12/2020 12:22

You sound very controlling, you don’t like them and you’re inventing reasons to take umbrage with the plans to have a dinner. I’m sure they actually fully intend to eat the food/snack on it while they have a drink, you’re being utterly ridiculous.

Reading this I’m about 90% sure it went like:
DP: let’s go have pub meal and drink with my parents at 6
OP: no way, I don’t eat at 6
DP: well you have to order a meal to have a drink, so just order it and don’t eat then
OP: no way, starving children
DP: so you clearly just want him to not have a birthday
OP: AIBU to boycott this meet-up for moral reasons

Bbq1 · 13/12/2020 12:46

Oh op. I feel for you. There are so many people on this thread that either fail to understand the written word or are CHOOSING to deliberately misunderstand. I would give up if I was you. For what it's worth, I would probably go and order and enjoy my meal despite whatever the rest of your party decide to do. However, don't be surprised if you're all asked to leave after a while. I'm in Tier 2 and believe that most pubs and restaurants are allowing 90 mins for customers to order and eat their meal to counteract exactly the sort of drinking that your in laws plan on doing. They're being ridiculous really.

UsernameChat · 13/12/2020 13:00

I think YABU, as it's up to your PIL if they choose to eat their meals or not. They want to have a celebratory birthday drink and the rules state you have to order a meal. They're prepared to do this. If they want to pay over the odds for a drink, it's up to them. If you think this is distasteful, donate £20 to Shelter or another charity. Whether they eat their meal or not, their custom is supporting several levels of the employment chain.

nosswith · 13/12/2020 14:01

I agree with a boycott. Wasting food is awful, indeed criminal in a way. The point others have made about people being without food not just in other countries was well made.

Aprilx · 13/12/2020 14:10

YABU. You just don’t want to see them. Firstly you moan that it is not your usual time to eat and so when somebody replies that they won’t actually eat you moan about that as well.

Original poster

husbandcallsmepickle · 13/12/2020 17:51

I didn't moan that the plan was to eat early - I have absolutely no problem with doing so. It's simply different to our usual habits.

I'm sorry to disappoint you amateur psychologists but I am very fond of my in-laws and we're close. I'm looking forward to seeing them for a catch up.

As it's a special occasion, we have made arrangements with the pub to be seated on adjacent tables that are 2+ metres apart so will be abiding by tier 2 rules.

My issue/reason for posting was my shock over the waste of food but my DH has now realised that he was being stupid and is now planning what he will eat.

OP posts:

Trousersareoverrated · 14/12/2020 12:12

Unless those tables are outdoors you are absolutely not abiding by tier 2 rules and neither are the pub. The rule is not to gather indoors with people you know outside of your household- there is no caveat that says it is ok to do so as long as you remain 2m apart.

Nanny0gg · 14/12/2020 12:36

@Pechanga

It's your FIL's birthday, why not eat a little earlier to enjoy celebrating with him?...at their suggestion they've offered to join you at your local, making it really convenient for you.

You seem determined to take offence and scupper their plans, using Covid restrictions as an excuse to drive them off.

Of course there'll be a huge backstory here...

The OP is happy to eat earlier. It's the in-laws who are going to waste the food

Simplyunacceptable · 14/12/2020 12:49

It’s wanky behaviour but many are doing it and let’s face it, the food rule for pubs is kind of ridiculous anyway- covid doesn’t know when someone is eating a plate of chips.

The hospitality sector is struggling greatly, they need the business so I doubt many are turning people away for this sort of thing. I’d feel uncomfortable going along with it personally but understand why others are doing it.

LilMidge01 · 14/12/2020 15:42

Do pubs near you not offer to package up leftovers for you to take home?
And why cant you eat at 6pm? You're not a toddler

LilMidge01 · 14/12/2020 15:52

@husbandcallsmepickle

1. I didn't moan that the plan was to eat early - I have absolutely no problem with doing so. It's simply different to our usual habits.

I'm sorry to disappoint you amateur psychologists but I am very fond of my in-laws and we're close. I'm looking forward to seeing them for a catch up.

As it's a special occasion, we have made arrangements with the pub to be seated on adjacent tables that are 2+ metres apart so will be abiding by tier 2 rules.

My issue/reason for posting was my shock over the waste of food but my DH has now realised that he was being stupid and is now planning what he will eat.

Lol just saw this. Still doesn't make sense. why on earth would anyone think not eating the food is somehow a 'hack'- you've paid for it and if you're not that hungry just take the leftovers home- no wastage. If the in laws dont want to eat it, you take it home!

Also, thats not Tier 2 rules. You can sit with them if the pub has an outside area, but you cant be indoors. In fact, the tables being 2m apart probably makes it worse as you'll be raising your voices a bit more to talk, thereby projecting more mouth droplets into the air directly towards each others faces in an indoor environment.

You're trolling right?

unmarkedbythat · 14/12/2020 17:27

I would just eat the food

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