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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find drag queens offensive?

999 replies

MrsMummy500 · 12/12/2020 18:39

AIBU to find drag queens really bloody offensive?

I hate the term offensive, it’s bandied around far too often at far too insignificant things (am aware this may be one of them). BUT, men dressing up as some fetishised version of a man made ideal of a woman really pisses me off. Hyper hair, max make up, drink in hand, revealing clothes.

I do not know a single woman like that. It riles me and I feel like I’m unable to express it as women have lost so much of their space to LGBTQ+ community (I perceive this, I don’t say it as a fact).
potential bomb drop alert but if white people are taken down (rightly IMO) for ‘blacking up’ should it be acceptable for men to parody women in the form of drag queens.

Ps- I do not buy for one minute that they are celebrating the female form with balloon breasts. It feels more like a piss take.

OP posts:
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5
PinkiOcelot · 12/12/2020 20:51

I’ve only ever been to 1 drag show. Whilst it’s not my cup of tea at all, I’m not offended.

Leaannb · 12/12/2020 20:52

@HotelliFinlandia

Also find it offensive.

I didn't feel that strongly about it when it stayed in clubs.

But Drag Queen Story Time is outright awful. NO woman would be invited to read to kids if she dressed like that and wore makeup like that. So its current acceptance is downright sexist.

The fact that a real woman who dressed like that wouldn't be invited to read to kids is just as sextet mysogenistic
Lastfreakinglegs · 12/12/2020 20:52

*year5teacher

Lastfreakinglegs

It is my opinion that as a white woman I am more privileged than a black man, broadly speaking

It's not a competition though is it hmm.

No, of course it isn’t, I’m not sure why you’d think I was saying it was. How weird 😂*

You were saying exactly that. Women have less right to be offended by womenface than black people do to be offended by blackface because they are more privileged in your opinion. So you were saying exactly that. Or perhaps you could explain again?

SapatSea · 12/12/2020 20:53

This made me feel sad a few days ago. Why would any woman want to dress up like a drag queen/ "sexy vixen"? Hmm oh yes, so sexy. Think Menz.

www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-9025851/Jess-Glynne-looks-inch-vixen-dons-striking-scarlet-wig-busty-thigh-split-gown.html

SeaWitchly · 12/12/2020 20:57

I used to find the scene in Priscilla Queen of the Desert funny where Terence Stamp's character humiliates the woman in the outback pub and all the men roar with laughter - now I don't, I find it offensive to women. I agree that drag queens are generally offensive, akin to 'blacking up' and stereotyping supposedly feminine traits.

Quaagars · 12/12/2020 20:57

Yes, but the reality is, I would say, that there are different types of oppression and that being male is a privilege. But being black isn’t - the same way that being white is and being a woman isn’t. It is my opinion that as a white woman I am more privileged than a black man, broadly speaking

This.
It's kind of problematic in itself comparing to blackface.
That's what I meant when I said offensive, as they're not the same.

ConfusedcomMum · 12/12/2020 20:58

I agree with you 100%.

flaviaritt · 12/12/2020 20:59
  • This. It's kind of problematic in itself comparing to blackface.*

What does “problematic” mean?

BrumBoo · 12/12/2020 21:00

@Quaagars

Yes, but the reality is, I would say, that there are different types of oppression and that being male is a privilege. But being black isn’t - the same way that being white is and being a woman isn’t. It is my opinion that as a white woman I am more privileged than a black man, broadly speaking

This.
It's kind of problematic in itself comparing to blackface.
That's what I meant when I said offensive, as they're not the same.

@Quaagars, so why is it not ok to stereotype black people (or any other group) through visual or any other sort of entertainment, but it is ok to do so when it's 'play acting' women? Why is that less offensive?
nanbread · 12/12/2020 21:00

Drag as a performance art isn't something I'm really into although I think some of them are extremely talented at make up and clothing, and others funny.

Women can be drag artists too - there was a show called Drag SOS with a female drag queen. And of course there are drag kings.

I ended up at a drag queen story time event once and I loved the stories they read, and the drag queen was gently funny and really good with the children. Not smutty or slutty at all.

RuPaul's Drag Race has featured almost exclusively gay male drag queens and I do have a problem with that. It's not very inclusive.

Quaagars · 12/12/2020 21:00

So now we're bashing other women for what they want to wear now?
So what if Jess Glynne is choosing to dress like that?
I mean, it can't be the drag argument, as how do you get to "parody women" and "take the piss out of" when you're all woman yourself?!
Surely it's a woman dressing how they want to!

BrumBoo · 12/12/2020 21:02

@flaviaritt

* This. It's kind of problematic in itself comparing to blackface.*

What does “problematic” mean?

It usually means they've been reading one too many Buzzfeed articles written by 12 year olds about how Friends was a Very Bad And Problematic Sitcom and if you ever laughed once a it then you're a bigot.
janetmendoza · 12/12/2020 21:02

Loathe it.

Quaagars · 12/12/2020 21:04

how Friends was a Very Bad And Problematic Sitcom and if you ever laughed once a it then you're a bigot

Grin Well, I must be one then lol as I absolutely love Friends and still find it brilliant
BrumBoo · 12/12/2020 21:05

@Quaagars well we can agree on something, though you are still to answer my previous post!

SionnachRua · 12/12/2020 21:06

RuPaul's Drag Race has featured almost exclusively gay male drag queens and I do have a problem with that. It's not very inclusive.

I have similar feelings tbh but I can understand why they don't feature drag kings, I'm not sure how they would compare them fairly with the queens. They have their first openly trans contestant coming up on s13 though which is a positive step. Maybe we will see a drag king season some day.

I have similar feelings about Love Island, I would love to see bi people represented in the show but understand that that may be tricky for producers to navigate.

formerbabe · 12/12/2020 21:07

I saw one on tv once and heard the line 'dressing like a,woman'. It irritated me so much. I've never seen a woman dressed like that. Most women I see on a day to day basis are wearing jeans, leggings, trousers, minimal make up etc. How come they never dress like that?

Passmeabottlemrjones · 12/12/2020 21:10

How come you never get groups of blokes fawning over a female dressed up as a man, taking the piss out of stereotypical male tropes? That you never get blokes talking about how much they love drag kings and how drag kings are a fantastic 'celebration of masculinity'? How come that never happens?

Original poster
MrsMummy500 · 12/12/2020 21:11

To those who have mentioned me - thank you! I’ve silently harboured these feelings for a while. And for some reason (proximity to Christmas is always a reason for camp) it’s growing lately.

I can’t quite escape the feeling this is another incident of men taking the piss. You see almost no women dressing up as men unless you’re in the palladium once a year watching Robin Hood panto.

And to be clear - I am not in particular making this a trans discussion, altho I believe that there is a Segway.

OP posts:
Passmeabottlemrjones · 12/12/2020 21:12

I have similar feelings about Love Island, I would love to see bi people represented in the show but understand that that may be tricky for producers to navigate.

They have already had that, Sophie Gradon was bisexual and coupled up with a girl on the show I think?

aModernClassic · 12/12/2020 21:14

Completely agree OP. I find it offensive.

SionnachRua · 12/12/2020 21:15

Oh I know about Sophie. I think that was a surprise to the producers though, wasn't it? I'd just love to see them openly put bi people into the villa if you get me. Or what about having a gay season of Love Island...

Anyway, am wandering off topic Smile

EwwSprouts · 12/12/2020 21:16

I tend to think of drag as Bernard Manning in a frock, they're blokey blokes with a misogynistic streak at core. I don't care if they choose to do it but I won't be paying to watch it. Some of it is offensive but I am in favour of free speech/performance.

WickedWestieWitch · 12/12/2020 21:19

I find drag queens highly offensive. I try to be vocal about it when I can, but people think that's homophobic/transphobic/drag phobic.
After all that has happened in 2020 I really don't give a flying fuck about saying what I think about stuff like this anymore. So someone thinks I'm x y z phobic? I know I'm not. So what. It's not going to stop me sticking up for womanhood.

year5teacher · 12/12/2020 21:19

@Lastfreakinglegs

*year5teacher

Lastfreakinglegs

It is my opinion that as a white woman I am more privileged than a black man, broadly speaking

It's not a competition though is it hmm.

No, of course it isn’t, I’m not sure why you’d think I was saying it was. How weird 😂*

You were saying exactly that. Women have less right to be offended by womenface than black people do to be offended by blackface because they are more privileged in your opinion. So you were saying exactly that. Or perhaps you could explain again?

That’s a lot of words you put in my mouth, and which I quite clearly never said. You seemed shocked at the idea that black people as a whole do experience more oppression than white women, I was pointing out I disagree - I said in my original comment on this thread that I can see why people find drag offensive. Of course it’s not a “competition”. You don’t need to be so defensive.