To put DD in a boys school..

[Purplelemon7]

The nursery & pre-prep school that my DS will likely join takes 3-4 girls every year (in a class of 20) up until the age of 7. Interested in peoples thoughts on this. I might ask the school to put me in touch with girls parents to find out what they think. The alternative is the girls school which is on the way to the boys school (I’m more inclined to do this but I don’t know if I will end up hating the school run more than people normally do). I wish there were good co-ed alternatives but there aren’t.

What's the benefit if she'll have to change school when she's 7?

Is it co-ed at 7+?

No way would I do this. My dd is in a mixed school but her class is very boy heavy. It has been a huge issue in terms of friendships for her.

Sorry, I don't quite understand. The girls school is on the way to the boys school. So closer to your home.
But you think if you put her in the girls school you will end up hating the school run even more that if you sent her anywhere else? Surely the run to the boys school is further so will be even worse.

School runs aside, what are the differences in the 2 schools, how they run, what they teach? School day, lunches, homework? Extra curricular? Wrap around care if you need it.

When your dd gets to 7, where would she go then as she couldn't stay at the boys school? If girls school is only alternative then maybe better to just start there?? Or is there somewhere else that takes from 7?

What a shame for the kids to be gendered and split at such a young age.

What's wrong with the local primary schools?

The girls and boys school are very similar. There isn’t much difference in terms of standards, wrap around care etc. The girls school doesn’t take boys otherwise I would have the option of putting my son in there because it’s closer.

It’s not about the school run being worse because of distance but having them in two schools vs one.

At 7 there is another there is a girls school that is 7-18. I just need to figure out the pre 7 part. I would be more comfortable at 7 using the minibus service they provide so I think it will be less of an issue then. It’s between the ages of 3/4-7 that I would be doing school runs.

Ah I get it now, you have one of each and looking to put them in the same school for a bit.

I can see the logic in that and likely the other girls in her class will also have brothers there too.

For me, one school drop off would make it worthwhile

Don’t do it. It’s in your interest but it isn’t in hers.

@Twizbe Yes I imagine siblings is why any parents of girls would put their daughters in the boys schools school otherwise it makes more sense to just use the girls school. My two are a year apart so there is a fair bit overlap in their school years.

I wouldn’t.

Obviously it would be more convenient but I don't think it's worth the hassle of her having to change at 7.

I wouldn’t want my children in single gender school that young so would be looking at other options.

Would all of the 3-4 girls then move to the girls' school at 7 in a typical year? That would make a difference to me - whether she'd move with a couple of peers or would likely be the sole new girl in an established class at 7.

I think your daughter will be fine until she is seven but I do understand the concerns from some, the few girls in the class will be thrown together in a way, whether they gel or not. On the other hand, your daughter is used to having a boy in the family and presumably (in 'normal' times), meets his friends so may be quite happy.

The least you can do is give it a try. If it doesn't work there is an alternative.

Good luck to you all.

I guess that your location has something to do with there being no mixed ed schools available. I wouldn't plan to uproot a child from one school to another at age 7. I think you should take the inconvenience on the school run.
However, a lot of children don't have any choice about moving schools and get on fine. Forces children for example will often move every couple of years.

I was sent to a boys school (200-ish boys, 20 girls) at the age of 7 and it was fucking awful. The boys dominated everything - girls were an after thought at best, resented at worst. Bullying of girls was rife - I got my head slammed against the wall and called a bitch at 8 years old. And, even at that age, it was obvious to me that my parents had done it for their own convenience and that my brother's education had been put before my own welfare. Obviously I didn't think of it in those exact terms at 8 years old, but I was very resentful and hurt, and my relationship with my parents never fully recovered.

The school that she will likely go to in the long term is 7-18. There’s no option of joining before then. Girls come various different schools and all start there at 7 including from the girls pre-prep and the boys pre-prep that I have mentioned and various other schools that are further away from us.

It’s true that it’s about balancing out what works for me vs what would seem better for her. That’s why I’m more inclined to put her in the girls school. I just don’t know how much I’ll end up hating the school run but I’m sure there are other parents who have done it and whilst it may not be ideal they must have survived those years (that’s what I’m telling myself!)

My sister was in a class with 4 other girls and 18 boys. Just randomly more weighted with boys.

There was weird rivalry between the girls over friends and they were very cliquey. I think for a few years it will be okay but don’t do it long term. My sister struggled to form female friendships as she got older. My mum and dad had her in lots of external clubs which helped her as a teen form friendships with girls.

@Cherryberrypies how old was she?

Doing it for your own self interest is a really shit reason.

If you had a decent reason in your child's best interests it would be different. The fact that you can't be arsed with the school run is something you need to get over.

Put her in the girls school. The school run issue will only be an issue for what, 2 years? And you’ll have a school run issue when she goes to the 7-18 school anyway presumably?

Do you work?

@Cherryberrypies

My sister was in a class with 4 other girls and 18 boys. Just randomly more weighted with boys.

There was weird rivalry between the girls over friends and they were very cliquey. I think for a few years it will be okay but don’t do it long term. My sister struggled to form female friendships as she got older. My mum and dad had her in lots of external clubs which helped her as a teen form friendships with girls.

I'm afraid this is exactly our experience too.

Does it really matter how much you might ‘hate the school run’? It’s not meant to be fun! I think most people hate it.
Not sure it should be your main consideration here really.

It would be for 4 years from 3-7.

At 7 I would consider using the school minibus so it’s really more of an issue for those years.

I do work but I have a lot of flexibility and work from home a lot as does my DH.

Both schools have good wrap around care as well.