To put DD in a boys school..

[Purplelemon7]

The nursery & pre-prep school that my DS will likely join takes 3-4 girls every year (in a class of 20) up until the age of 7. Interested in peoples thoughts on this. I might ask the school to put me in touch with girls parents to find out what they think. The alternative is the girls school which is on the way to the boys school (I’m more inclined to do this but I don’t know if I will end up hating the school run more than people normally do). I wish there were good co-ed alternatives but there aren’t.

I went to a co-ed primary where most pupils were boys and thrived. But, and it's a big but, when I went to an all-girls school at 11 I had no idea how to make friends with groups of girls. It was a disaster.

If her 7+ (or 11+) option is all girls - start that way too.

you could always try it for a year then if it does not work out move her.

I think it's a ridiculous notion. There may be 3-4 girls in her year, or she might end up being the only one.

Put her interests first, not your convenience.

Good suggestion from whoever mentioned looking at timings. The girls and boys school (call it school A) have the same timings, however to complicate matters there is also another boys prep school (call it school B) which is close to both these schools and also very good but is a brother school to the girls prep and they start 10 mins earlier and finish 10 mins after the girls school! The reason I was considering school A over school B was because school A is a feeder school for the main secondary independent boys school in the area. So around 20 boys from School A end up going to the same secondary every year, whereas only 4 from school B end up going there. This timing issue now brings school B back into the picture!

@SinkGirl That’s interesting about the minibus. They have a mini bus which stop at a bus stop a 5 min walk from my house and my intention was to use that service after 7 although they do start it from 4 onwards

My mum did it, I don't remember there being any problems. My sister and I were dropped off first, and went into early class (this wasn't part of the wrap around - that was breakfast class, early class was just a 'holding pen' really!) then she took my brother on to his school. When we were 11 we started getting a coach to secondary school, so would be dropped off at the coach stop first which was luckily on the same route as the other drop offs.

I don't think girls do as well at schools that are very heavily boys, especially if they've gone from only being boys to having some girls, the culture still feels like a boys school (my DB's school is mixed now, and I don't know any parent who's chosen it unless they also have a boy there).

Personally, I'd put her in the girls school and keep her there until 11. Otherwise she gets to the point that she's going to become one of the big girls, then goes back to being one of the babies.

There must be a coed alternative surely. I guess you are privately educating but segregating infant age children? I wouldn't want that or either sex. They need to be educated together.

My dd2 did this when we took her out of state school in Y1 as they were not willing to deal with her dyslexia she was at the time the only girl in the school of 200 boys (and in her memory box we have this amazing school picture of the school children with just her as the only girl)

It was amazing for her. She made good friendships, she learned to read in the 1.5 years she was there (having not been able to when she entered) and she got confidence to try stuff that she otherwise would not have done.

She is 20 now and still speaks of her time at this school with fondness and says it was the best school she went to.

We moved when she went into Y3 and she ended up back in state school it worked fine for her she was happy to make friends with girls again but also joined in with the boys happily,

I will say for us the move was because the school in question specialised in dyslexia and I felt she needed this support more than she did girls around. I still now feel it was the right choice to do.

I'd be concerned as to why they only take 3-4 girls? Why not 50%? Can they not properly cater for girls? I'd also agree that the friendship pool is going to be smaller. No reason she can't befriend boys too, but if she wants some girl friends, only one or two in the same class is not a lot.

Most people dislike the school run. Put up with a less than ideal one from your perspective for the benefit of your daughter. If you were to step back from the school run a d say "Shall I send my daughter to a school for three years where she will most likely have few friends and then uproot her after that anyway?" What would your answer be?

I think its a slightly strange set up, but then I've always attended and worked in co-ed state schools.

I think it would be odd to be in a school where you're not part of the majority whom the school is advertised for (assuming that this school advertises itself as a boys school). A three year old might not pick up on this but a six year old might. The main advantage I can see is for girls like your DD who have a brother in the school. I think there an be benefits other than the school run to having siblings in the same school e.g. some familiarity for the younger one, shared experiences and perhaps some shared friendships.

In your cases in seems that both children will have to change schools at some point wherever you send them and they're never going to be in the same school as each other for very long. As your and your DH have flexibility over work patterns and the schools offer good wrap around care I think send each child to whichever school suits them best regardless of school run issues. And speak to other parents as this is usually a good indicator of how a school might fit your family.

Oh, there was also a girl in my form who lived very close that I was friendly with, so DM and her mum would occasionally share school runs (swimming class nights, her mum would take us, and my mum would meet us there after collecting DB). So you might find some nearby parents too, and set something up.

No idea about single sex schools but I have kids at two different schools and the school run is absolutely fine. One gets there a few minutes early and the other on time. It's getting out of the house that's the hard bit, not dropping them off.

@CheetasOnFajitas

My dad - back in the 1940s - was the only boy in an entire girls’ school. Goodness knows why, and it really didn’t do him any favours! Have you seen Derry Girls?

Funny you should ask, my dad was from NI!

@Labobo

I'd be concerned as to why they only take 3-4 girls? Why not 50%? Can they not properly cater for girls? I'd also agree that the friendship pool is going to be smaller. No reason she can't befriend boys too, but if she wants some girl friends, only one or two in the same class is not a lot.

I imagine they’ll take as many girls as apply (most private schools aren’t full), but the only ones applying are probably siblings of boys. Or, the school has spotted a gap in the market, because another school takes girls from 7, so they have opened up spare spaces to girls under 7, who will transfer to the 7+ school then. But most parents will have concerned about their child being in a minority, so it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy as not many apply so they remain as minority...

I agree the school is likely to be geared up for boys and their interests. I work in a girls prep which takes boys in the nursery only (and only siblings of girls in the school) . I don’t think it makes any difference at nursery age, but a few times the nursery teacher has had to ask the head to reword whole school letters from ‘your daughter’’ to ‘your child’. A minor thing but shows the focus is on girls. We do a dance show for example - can’t imagine most boys schools are putting those on - and the sports they do are hockey and netball, not football and rugby.

I read that girls schools see more students undertaking STEM subjects and generally doing better in girls schools than co-ed.

If the girls school took on boys I would absolutely consider that just as much an option as putting my DD in a boys school.

There is a reason the girls school doesn’t and the boys school does.

Both are focussing on the needs of their majority sex.

I teach Y2 (16 boys 14 girls) and I would say it seems to be this year, so aged 6/7, that they splinter by gender. At playtime we generally have the coed group playing tag then single sex groups. Yesterday the girls were dogs and the boys were robots. Birthday parties seem to be fairly single sex as they are doing small groups of close friends not whole class affairs. If I look across the playground to Y1 I don't see the same gender divide.
It really depends on your daughter and it's probably a bonus she's got a similar aged brother. You'd be worried if a wee quiet girl is going to get lost in the noise especially as the school will be set up to cater to boys first. Equally it could do wonders for her confidence and attitudes around boys. I was all girls from 7-16 and there is an idea of boys as mysterious creatures that can result in near obsession or avoidance neither of which are healthy.

You are literally asking if you should put her in a boys school until she is 7 rather then take her to the girls school which is on the same route anyway?

Why? Just why?

All the schools I attended were co-ed and most of my friends were boys. I'd put both your kids at the same school for pre-prep and be thankful there's a school bus service for each prep. I think gender makes little difference under 7.

Thinking back, my first school was mainly girls. During my time there from age 4-11 in a class of 26-28, there were four boys throughout. It was the same in other classes. We never thought anything of it and all were reasonably friendly but the boys did stick together for some things. I imagine the school the op is thinking of is much the same, in reverse.

I’ve had my children at 2/3 different schools all along. The only co-Ed private school is crap and we’ve tried state and I wasn’t happy with it (plus DH and I didn’t have good state school experiences).
It was fine - you just get used to the journey.
I would check though that holiday dates are similar - otherwise it can cause a few issues with the children when they’re younger.

@underneaththeash Do you work?

At my primary school there was an unusual year. I was in a class with 3 other (4 other in the last year) girls and there were 18 boys in my year group. But there were more average ratios in other years. I have a brother he was in the year below me. There was some heavy competition between the boys and the girls. But I don't remember being uncomfortable or anything.

I imagine that girls in a boy's school will be much more disadvantaged than boy's at a girls school because we continue to live in a sexist society. I wouldn't do this for that reason, I thinks girls get a rough enough deal without being such a tiny minority.