Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

14 year old abs 9 year old at home all day alone while we work.

96 replies

WheresMyMask · 11/12/2020 11:19

There's two days DH and I are at work and the kids are off school.
Monday 21st
Tuesday 22nd

Obviously the 14 year old is fine at home during the day.
And I can get childcare for the 9 year old. But I'm wondering whether I need to to. I think they will probably be fine, just a bit bored. I don't think they will set the house on fire.

Timing wise it would be 07.45-5.15 by themselves two days running.

YABU - never! You're a neglectful witch!
YANBU - of course! My kids have been looking after themselves since they were 2.

OP posts:
HallFloor · 11/12/2020 11:21

I think a 14yo with a child they know well should be fine. I was being paid to baby sit at 13, but different times..

GreekOddess · 11/12/2020 11:22

Similar age gap between mine. At that age they would've been fine but I tended to get the younger one to stay with relatives if it was for more than 4 hours as I knew that they would be glued to their screens. Also felt like too much responsibly on the eldest even though he was capable.

Original poster
WheresMyMask · 11/12/2020 11:22

So was I actually.
The kids were in bed though, but there were three of them including a baby.

I hadn't even thought of that.

OP posts:
Itsabloodyeuphonium · 11/12/2020 11:23

Yes I think that should be fine - as the first PP said I was babysitting at that age! I’ve not voted thought because my views aren’t at either extreme Grin

Thatwentbadly · 11/12/2020 11:23

It depends on how they are with each other and how they feel about it.

TeenPlusTwenties · 11/12/2020 11:23

I think if they normally get along and are sensible, it is OK for 2 days.

Set out some clear ground rules and expectations. Accept lots of gaming time if applicable.

Brainwave89 · 11/12/2020 11:24

At 14 my kids would have really hated being babysat, and providing they are sensible I do not think this is a problem.

Original poster
WheresMyMask · 11/12/2020 11:26

Most have you had so far said exactly what I was thinking.

That sorts it then.

OP posts:
Moltenpink · 11/12/2020 11:26

I think it would be ok if you work nearby or have a neighbour you could call on in case of emergency

pinkbalconyrailing · 11/12/2020 11:28

should be fine with strict rules tbh.

PlanDeRaccordement · 11/12/2020 11:31

Yes, 14yo can babysit the 9 yo. I would however, pay the 14yo something for caring for the 9yo with understanding that they ensure the 9yo eats meals, doesn’t go out alone, etc.

LaceyBetty · 11/12/2020 11:36

I would do it. I was babysitting at 14 for entire days over the summer. Yes, it was a looong time ago, but I still think it's fine.

TicTac80 · 11/12/2020 11:39

It depends on the children, I think. I used to babysit from when I was 14. I've let my 14yr old look after my 7yr old when I've had to work (and no childcare). He knows how to cook (but I do leave stuff for him to heat up for them both). They know what to do in the event of a fire or accident. The eldest has done a first aid course. They plan their time and use it like a bit of an adventure...so part of it spent gaming, part spent reading/doing puzzles/board games/playing with Lego. They'll do washing up, put a load of laundry on to wash, and they enjoy doing the vacuuming (weird children!). They'll stick on a movie (I leave them snacks). They know not to let anyone in.

I also have let my neighbours know for those times that I'm at work and they're off school, just so that they can eyeball the place from time to time. My work place is about 5 miles away, so I could be home quickly if needed. I'm a single parent and due to what I do as a job (nurse), it isn't always easy to get childcare)

ChateauMargaux · 11/12/2020 11:45

Do they get on well? If so, then I think it would be OK, especially if they are happy to stay at home and they check in with you periodically.

I wouldn't pay the 14 year old to look after the 9 year old. They should both be responsible for their own behaviour and th 14 year old should have a phone.

Is there someone nearby who can come to help if they need it or a neighbour they can go to if they feel like they need an adult?

Sandseasurf · 11/12/2020 11:46

Glad you’ve asked this and had this reaction. Mine are 13 (DS) and 11 (DD) and I’ve this week just started leaving them for 2 hours after school occasionally. Was doubting myself but happy to see positive responses.

Bonkerz · 11/12/2020 11:46

Yes. My 14 year old and 9 year old get on well and get left together. I usually ensure there is a fridge of picky foods available so the 14 year old doesn't have to cook but she can make pasta and jacket potatoes and freezer food quite well now.

Brighterthansunflowers · 11/12/2020 11:47

If they get on and the 14 year old is reliable then it’s fine. I wouldn’t do it permanently but for two days it’s ok. Set clear boundaries and expectations for both of them.

If the kids don’t get on, the younger one will play up or the older one will ditch them to hang out with mates then no.

amusedbush · 11/12/2020 11:50

I’m 6 years older than my brother and I looked after him from when I was around 12 (at that age it was just an hour here and there while my mum went to the supermarket). If they’re sensible and they get on, they’ll be fine for a couple of days.

HitthatroadJack · 11/12/2020 12:00

You know them, are they likely to kill each other?

A 14 year old is old enough to be paid to babysit younger children!
It's always slightly different with siblings, but you know your own kids.

Nowadays you can keep your phone on

randomer · 11/12/2020 12:03

Could somebody drop by for 10 minutes?

WaxOnFeckOff · 11/12/2020 12:03

If they get on okay and are generally sensible then I think it's absolutely fine.

My only caution would be that 9 year old might get up significantly earlier than 14 year old so might have a fair bit of time unsupervised. If they are good at entertaining themselves, that's fine.

Would this be before or after Christmas? Just thinking that access to lots of new stuff might be a good or bad thing depending on what it is..

Mine would have happily sat building lego for hours at that age. At 14, it would be sleep in till lunchtime and then game/snack until parent came home.

Goldenbear · 11/12/2020 12:06

I have the same age DC and leave my DD in charge if I am going to the shop but it's is around the corner. The only reason I feel anxious about it is because my eldest is gaming so I insist he has the headphones off and the door open. Tbh my DD is probably just as sensible as him. She is often drawing when I leave and drawing when I come back!

Yesmate · 11/12/2020 12:07

Going against the grain here but I wouldn’t do it. 14, fine. 9, not fine. I don’t think a 14 year old should have responsibility for that long for a child if that age. I babysat (nightime) at 14, as did my friends and we all look back horrified now. It’s a no from me (I haven’t bites though because I don’t think you are a neglectful witch!)

Jobseeker19 · 11/12/2020 12:07

Yes, just make sure they know who to phone. Also for both of you to phone and check on them during your lunch break.

I would also make sure they know what to have for breakfast and lunch and if they are allowed outside or not.

Goldenbear · 11/12/2020 12:07

Sorry that should say DS he's the 14 year old. My little one wanted to be picked up by him from school as we have a vet appointment today that will be tight to get to from picking up and going to the vets on time. The vet doesn't allow children at the moment.

Swipe left for the next trending thread