To think London commute towns are no better than Edinburgh for raising a family?

[JenXG]

So basically DH and I are having a debate on whether to leave Edinburgh and move to a commute town outside London. (we have to stick with Edinburgh / London as working in financial sector but both of us would avoid London because of traffic/pollution/crowded streets).

The main reason for DH favouring those commute towns is that they seem to have loads of good schools for DS (4mo) to choose from compared to Edinburgh where there are only a few (or hardly any if his standard). He has high hope for DS. Also the A-level system is widely recognised across different countries (so potential for studying overseas) but the same cant be said for the Scotland system.

My worry is that we are giving up preferred lifestyle for a very small difference in schooling. I grew up in a big city and always need busy streets nearby. I understand some places such as Guildford will have its own town centre but there are still fewer things going on compared to Edinburgh. For example, there are a wide range of fine restuarants, several theatres & cinemas, pubs, etc in Edinburgh but living in Guildford we'd still have to go to London for a night out? I'd assume activities for young kids are more available in Edinburgh than in Guildford? E.g. Edinburgh has a zoo, lots of museums, and a coastline where you can do kayaking. Also Guildford is one of the busier towns as I understand. Some other commute towns are even quieter. So we'd highly likely end up travelling to London a lot which is not fun (I'm far more used to walking or driving a little bit to favourite places than hours of trains/tubes).

What do people think? I haven't been to many places in the southern area. Maybe I have misunderstood what life would be like there? Would you relocate if you were us?

From some of the comments here, students in Scotland are parochial because they are more likely to go to a Scottish university. So a kid from the Northern Highlands who went 5 hours south to Edinburgh (and was undoubtedly shy and quiet when they got there) is parochial, but a Londoner who went to Edinburgh (5 hours north) is adventurous? Why? Because they’re louder? Bearing in mind too the huge expense of getting home on public transport to a part of the country not well served by said transport (you’d probably need to get buses rather than trains) and therefore with no discounted tickets, and the likely lower incomes of the family, and you’ve written them off. I had a vivid memory of a lecturer moaning about how some students didn’t get university and just turned up to classes and never spoke - of course we didn’t. We had never been anywhere like it. We didn’t have regular visits or find it was just like being at home, or come from an environment in which you spoke up at school at all - at my school anyone talking to a teacher outside of classes was doing so because they had problems either academically or personally. And who do you think should have helped us fit in and learn the ropes, and who didn’t bother?

Don’t big yourself up @GreenlandTheMovie, you have an obvious agenda fuelled by bollocks and misinformation, so why shouldn’t people be curious?

I really don’t care who you are, nor (on the basis of your posts) are you anyone I’d want me or any of my family to have anything to do with, so I think you’re quite safe on that front.

Some of your comments on this thread were pertinent, many weren’t and some were just plain old crapola. The best bit was you berating other posters about their research skills.

This thread is almost as bonkers as the OP's husband - I mean, it really has everything from red pandas to magical mystery bus tours to fucking batshit craziness!

OP, your husband is not particularly well-informed about Scottish education, that's OK - that's why 25% of Edinburgh's children are in private schools, their dads are all afraid they'll catch stupid and common too. Alternatively, give your husband's head a wobble before he sets your baby up for a lifetime of not being quite good enough for daddy's standards.

I’m in a nice commuter village and I’ve lived in Guildford and it was ok but no culture to speak of, mostly bankers wives doing yoga and law students getting drunk. Edinburgh would be way more fun for a teenager.

Also what about university isn’t it still free in Scotland? That would make me stay!

In general Edinburgh is better except for weather / access to mainland Europe. But - don’t you have family and friends? Aging parents maybe? Faily and friends would be the biggest deciding factor for me with such a big move.

Just how shit is the weather in Edinburgh? I currently live much further south in the Channel Islands and am considering a move.

@JenXG Its ok, he is not quite as bonkers as my DH who believes his unborn child must go to St Paul's or City of London school (but even he is ok with us moving to Edinburgh for now..he hasn't looked at the schools yet). My DH also thinks home ownership is stupid and financially illiterate and you should just rent a nice flat in Kensington (and invest your money into something sensible that generates passive income) until the house prices crash and you can buy that luxurious Central london pad. I arm wrestled him into buying our zone 3 london flat and he is still moaning about it a year on. Not because of the flat, he thinks the flat and location is great, but being a home owner in london at 29 is apparently a waste of money .

@longcoffeebreak

Just how shit is the weather in Edinburgh? I currently live much further south in the Channel Islands and am considering a move.

Not that bad compared to further inland or further up.

Can be a bit windy and damp...which makes it cold. But I’m in West Lothian and work in Edinburgh, it doesn’t freeze the same as out here, and rarely gets deep snow, and I’m from up north on the west coast, it’s a lot drier in Edinburgh than it is there.

Your husband is financially illiterate it seems,what provision are you both making for school fees?

Just to say you can study A levels in Scotland, I left school after my Highers and did them at FE college. I then went to uni in England - a good uni too OP - fancy that!

I hope your OP chills out soon.

My brother is in a finance role. They moved down to London for his work and stayed in Seven oaks. They didn't last a year until they transferred back and my niece is at private school in Edinburgh now and doing really well.

@HeelsHandbagPerfumeCoffee we wouldn't be having a child for a good few years and cos i am the realist, we live in an area in London with very good state schools - 3 Outstanding Primary and an Outstanding Secondary as a backup in case we can't afford school fees when the time comes.

But I have been thinking edinburgh may be a good option as edinburgh privates are a lot more affordable than London privates, and we can buy a far larger flat than in London (and can also rent the london flat out). Like the OP, i love cities (and being near to amenities and public transport) but the fact is that a big house/flat in London zone 1-3 near outstanding schools is a million pounds and pouring all that money in your primary residence doesn't seem worth it unless you are actually a multi-millionaire. I have looked at guildford and don't think its that different price-wise tbh.

I think you can be either a town person, a rural person or a city person. Someone who would be happy in guildford would be either a town/rural person. It doesn't sound like OP, maybe OP's husband is a town person which is why he suggested guildford. As a londoner, my perception that people who are happy in the Home Counties are people who really value big cars and big houses and being segregated from poorer members of society (as it is almost impossible to live in London and not be within a few miles of council flats)..

There is absolutely no need to go to England to study A levels, can all be taken in schools in Edinburgh. My children have perp schooled in Scotland and senior schooled privately in Edinburgh. Most do the English system A level courses if that's what you want. There are co-ed like Fettes or Loretto plus single sex like Merchiston or St Georges. Then there are Watsons, Edinburgh Academy, Heriots, and Stewarts Melville etc. If your 4mth old is such a genius then surely could get a scholarship and a bursary if money is a problem.

I’m simply saying St. Paul’s & city you need to plan and hope child is able enough
What of you have a girl btw? CLSG a and what?
TBH It’s a not choice often touted...mmm Edinburgh or London? What shall I do?
Because different countries different lifestyles attitudes etc
I

@HeelsHandbagPerfumeCoffee we are overpaying mortgage by close to £1000 per month. DH thinks Habs isn't good enough, which is ridiculous! but yeah some men can be v stubborn! He is from a RG uni but I was from the same uni and I don't have these ideas.

Actually I thought that Londoners leaving London for Edinburgh/Bristol/Manchester was a thing! But there are more jobs in finance in edinburgh i think. Its a different type of londoner. Sure moving to Surrey/Bucks/Kent is more common as you don't need to find a new job often, but do have the commute and the season ticket. I still can't get over the idea of paying £5k per annum for PUBLIC transport, its not something that enhances your life,it just gets you from A to B. Plus its a sunk cost, at least if you buy a more expensive house, there is a possibility of recouping your cost when you sell up. There is no way of recovering season ticket costs and even travelling in 2-3 times a week is the same as buying a rail season ticket. I don't think its that great for family life either, having to pay £5k for rail fares and having to endure rail delays. Surely the extra hour spent reading with Mum is far better for cognitive development. Living in zone 5 of london isn't my cup of tea either as you get the house prices and none of the city buzz.

Which is why londoners who like city life prefer to just find a new city where they can afford to live near where they work and edinburgh is one of the nicer cities in the UK imho.

@SabrinaThwaite

Oh, and I’m sceptical because this particular poster claims to live in the New Town on this thread, yet on a thread from a couple of days ago they live a mile from the nearest town 🤔

Hmmm. Call me suspicious but the thread has that sort of vibe...

@ImNotMeImSomeoneElse

Also the attitude that everything here is perfect

Oh we are very aware everything isn't perfect. But we are working on it 😁

But there's no way I would live somewhere that I could see no positives in. I feel that if someone can't see anything positive in an amazing city like Edinburgh, that's entirely a reflection on them rather than on the city itself. If all someone can talk about is what isn't perfect, then that's all they are looking for. And I, and most people on this thread to be fair, choose to see the good. I find it makes for a more enjoyable life, personally.

Oh and really, saying Scots students aren't interested in Oxbridge is ridiculous

Interesting. Weren't you saying the exact opposite, a few pages back?

Excellent response. And well spotted.

Lol, you’re one of those parents obsessing about Habs,City,Highgate for an unborn baby.
All mapped out You’ll peruse brochures,study school destination,seek out tutors
How Cliched

I can't and won't criticise Edinburgh, it's a lovely city, but what you've said does fit the Guildford stereotype and I've known a few.

Personally it's the weather and Europe connections that sell the South Coast for me. Consider Winchester too, or maybe Leatherhead (too quiet?). There's more than just Guildford and certainly if you have the budget it's where the public schools have the reputation.

Also look forward to your child (and you) getting older, are you going to maintain the same social pace? I have so many friends who barely remember what a theatre or restaurant is for lack of time and energy.

You would be fucking mental to leave Edinburgh for Guildford.

I would stick with Edinburgh any day of the week (I originally grew up in London now live in Scotland).

I would also curb your husbands my child will apply to Oxbridge attitude now.
You have no idea what or where your child will want to study and at the end of the day it's your child's choice!
For instance I was accepted to St Andrews for my undergraduate but I chose to study in Wales instead my choice despite my dad's objections at the time!

You probably find many of the Scottish private school went to St Andrews!

My dd attends a good state primary in Edinburgh. The high school is much lower in the rankings due to the primary to private trend for some in this area. It's not unknown at all for a child to go to oxbridge. DD's best friends brother and his pal from down the road who just went to the local high are both at Cambridge now. It's less popular of course as others have mentioned due to the fact uni is free and unconditional places can be given after 5th year exams. As others have said there are some very good uni's here - did t price William go to at Andrew's? If OP's DS wants to be a vet for example then Edinburgh vet school is above Cambridge in the rankings anyway. Imagine if you moved just for oxbridge then he decided he was moving to Edinburgh for that (and it needed to be paid for unlike if the move hadn't happened) It would be very strange to decide where to love based on aspirations for 4 month old who could take any path.

Yes Edinburgh is a nice city but I find it difficult to get to, I only live an hour away, and expensive to get around as it’s very expensive to have a car.
I was a student in Edinburgh in the 1990s and enjoyed it but not so much now when I visit my dd who is studying there.

I live in Edinburgh- my car costs the same as if I lived in the middle of nowhere, and I'm walking distance from the city centre. That's an odd and sweeping statement. Yes some will need a residents permit (I don't) but if fettes is an easy option for OP then I doubt a parking pass is going to break the bank. I find it very cheap to get around as the public transport network is vast and efficient, a day ticket is excellent value and includes the tram.

If you are both in the financial sector do your wages allow you to consider private school in Edinburgh which I understand opens up sending your child to a school that teaches English curriculum. So you could have the best of all worlds.

15 pages and barely anything back from the OP

@JenXG hello ? [waves]

What's your budget?

Do you prefer north, south, east or west of London?

You could end up looking at anywhere from Peterborough to Sevenoaks- all within an hour on the train of London. And there is Cambridge too as others have said.

There's Hitchin, Letchworth, Esher, Claygate, Woking, etc etc- all with prep schools or close to some.

But IMO you are being a bit odd to choose a town based on a prep school as a means of hot housing your 4 month old son into Oxbridge. He may decide to be a plumber - and nothing against that but you have no idea if he is academic or not. Your DH sounds, frankly, barmy.

There are some excellent state schools around too for primary age kids and many families where I am only transfer to private for secondary age. And going to a public school even if Eton or Harrow is not an automatic entry to Oxbridge. You both need a reality check.

@midnightstar66 you are wrong. It costs my dd more to have her car in Edinburgh than it costs me elsewhere in the middle of nowhere in Scotland; car parking permit the most obvious one which was almost impossible to get staying in student accommodation and car insurance is higher. Good luck finding a parking place if you don’t have one that comes with your property.

I stay almost equidistant between Edinburgh and Aberdeen but it takes me much longer to drive to Edinburgh and I go the long way round to Aberdeen. Public transport especially the trains has been horrendous with train cancellations, overcrowded and breakdowns for many years even before COVID. I vowed never to use the trains again after a horrendous journey which involved someone falling down the steps at hay market with a full cup of costa coffee scolding everyone in the area then cancelled trains and finally being squashed like sardines in a tin, standing up all the way to through Fife.

Yeah great if you never wish to travel outwith the safety confines of the refined cultured metropolis that is Auld Reekie. Let’s face it Edinburgh literary stinks with the breweries and it’s not a smell I like.

Get real and get over it, Edinburgh’s englightenment was centuries ago. All the festivals and the culture which I bet the vast majority do not have access to apart from the token craft session or play put on in Pilton, are very damaging to the infrastructure of the city (so said Edinburgh city council). Remember the mess at princes street gardens after the hell that is the Christmas markets.
Some Hooray Henry is making stacks out of the so called ‘culture’ on show in Edinburgh and you are falling hook, line and sinker. waken up. You are really valuing a place to live on the leisure activities available and what you can pay.

There’s about 7 places available at The Dick Vet (I wonder if they still sing the song with the line ‘f* the university’) each year for home Scottish students (1st degree so Scot.gov pick up the tab, got a degree already, you can pay your way) so competition is fierce. They are not shy that the market the target is fee paying and international.