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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Mike Tindall wanting a son

198 replies

stairway · 09/12/2020 13:24

Congratulations on his wife’s pregnancy news, but I can’t believe he has actually said he really wants a son this time. The Pressure on poor Zara after all her loses too. Hopefully they’ve already had a sex scan and know it’s a boy.

OP posts:

HitthatroadJack · 09/12/2020 17:14

why did you tell them that!? OK you say "All's good in our house" so I really hope it hasn't affected them in ways that aren't obvious or that haven't come out yet. I mean, it's not exactly a positive thing to have told them is it, and I'm struggling to think of any benefit of them knowing how you really felt even if you love them to bits.

oh dear, in a normal and healthy family dynamic, it's fine!
People understand the joke, or have seen the complete lack of discrimination and resentment and are happy. It's the same as telling your child that your favourite is the other sibling that day, because he's less disruptive. They know...

Things only ever become a problem when you mean them and don't treat your children well. Seriously, chill out, a normal child will find it funny or completely ignore you

CandidaAlbicans2 · 09/12/2020 17:15

Really, redtoothbrush?
Someone in several years time is going to remember an off the cuff comment in the paper then repeat it to the child?

Oh come on @Andante57, surely you know that certain elements of the media love raking up shit about famous people. Once something is out there it's out there and sooner or later it'll be dragged back up, either by the press or by people on social media. It happens all the time.

TurquoiseDress · 09/12/2020 17:17

In any case, I reckon they know it's going to be a boy...Zara is probably much further along in the pregnancy than many other royals have been when it was announced.

Andante57 · 09/12/2020 17:18

Candida well I suppose so but it just seems a storm in a teacup.
As pps have said loads of people say they want a girl and no one seems to bat an eyelid.
The child will be the Queen’s great grandchild. How interested are the press in Queen Mary’s, say, great grandchildren?

notacooldad · 09/12/2020 17:19

17:08CandidaAlbicans2
Why on earth would it effect them? They are young adults.
Ime and their dad are extremely close to them. Ds 1 has invited us round to Christmas Dinner, so u guess he still likes me !! we spend a lot of time with both of them and their partners
The conversation was light hearted.. its not like I broke down and told them some bug confession that was a burden to me! I told them why I wanted girls- I didn't know anyone with boys and I didn't know what to do with them!!
If you think that's bad i better not say what we nicknamed ds2 (who i absolutely adore!!)

Rainbowx · 09/12/2020 17:22

I reckon they already know it's a boy and shes due very soon

JayAlfredPrufrock · 09/12/2020 17:30

The first thing I thought when I read she was pregnant was ‘I hope it’s a boy’.

praepondero · 09/12/2020 17:49

Oh for fucks' sake, OP, lay off. I wanted a son when I was first pregnant and got lucky. Was I wrong to voice my preference?

WeeBenny · 09/12/2020 17:56

He also says he would love it girl or boy. He's allowed to want a son. He clearly loves his daughters very much

NiceGerbil · 09/12/2020 17:58

I think it could be upsetting for the child in the future tbh as it's a public statement so they can and will find it. If they're a girl I mean.

If a boy then he'll know he's the one his dad was really interested in I supposed.

Janegrey333 · 09/12/2020 18:11

@Namerchanger42

I think it’s very distasteful to express a preference

I agree. How unpleasant to feel like that.

TheFairyCaravan · 09/12/2020 18:12

Every other day there’s a thread on here where someone is wailing and whinging because they’re expecting a boy. But as soon as someone expresses a preference of wanting a boy, although he said he didn’t really mind, there’s uproar over that too. .

I bet they already know they’re having a boy and she’s quite far along.

Janegrey333 · 09/12/2020 18:16

It doesn’t matter whether they know or not. He’s put his foot in it.

dworky · 09/12/2020 18:16

Prick

Janegrey333 · 09/12/2020 18:19

His daughters might not feel delighted, either, if when they are older they discover.

notacooldad · 09/12/2020 18:23

I think it could be upsetting for the child in the future tbh as it's a public statement so they can and will find it. If they're a girl I mean.

If a boy then he'll know he's the one his dad was really interested in I supposed
I honestly think too much is being gm read into what he had said.
What mattes is how they are treated. My sil was adamant she wanted a girl and had 5 sons before she got her daughter. She was clear her 6th attempt was her final try. All the lads knew she wanted a girl. However all the lads were brought up as her absolute pride and joy and they know they are not lacking. They all love their mum and are an extremely close knit family. When dd came along there was all the jokes about sil having someone to go shopping with, paint nails etc. Not one off the lads think they are lacking. They are resilient, intelligent young men.
To be honest I think a worse statement is when people say they aren't bothered if they have a boy or girl as long as it's healthy. I always think what on earth are they going to do if it's not and there's complications or the child has a disability.

Nanny0gg · 09/12/2020 18:25

@RedToothBrush

He is someone in the public eye.

Its one thing saying this when they aren't.

Its another when the child involved may read this or have it repeated back to them as an adult by a member of the press.

Having those feelings and expressing them in a situation which may one day be harmful to a child are two different things.

Bloody hell!

I was told that I was an accident (I'd already worked that out!)

I wasn't scarred and my parents treated me and my siblings equally. Very happy childhood.

The child will be loved and really won't care.

Nanny0gg · 09/12/2020 18:27

Weren't the Beckhams very public about wanting a daughter?

Don't tell me they don't adore their boys.

ImEatingVeryHealthilyOhYes · 09/12/2020 18:31

Agree it could be upsetting. Totally different on here where we're anonymous. I was an unwanted daughter, as was my sister. It's not the sort of thing you forget.

notacooldad · 09/12/2020 18:47

It could be worse, my friends mum told her that she was too late to have an abortion! Now that's brutal!!

My friends brothers and sisters were all 20 yearplus older than her so it was clear my friend was an accident. The mum did say she was pleased she was too late and friend and mum were very close until the mother's death!
As I've said, it's not necessary what you say but the way you say it!

LisaLee333 · 09/12/2020 18:50

@Nanny0gg

Weren't the Beckhams very public about wanting a daughter?

Don't tell me they don't adore their boys.

Well exactly!

I know several people who have 3 or 4 boys, and then had a girl (last.) They adore their little girl, (and so do the brothers,) but they don't love the boys any less.

Also, my uncle (dad's brother) had 3 girls in 6 years, and loved his girls, but was over the moon when he and his wife had a boy when the girls were 13, 11, and 7. He and his son had a wonderful relationship. He took him fishing, to footie, to golf, and cricket.

Despite all the 'why can't girls do that' type comments people may come out with, most girls are not going to be interested in golf, cricket, footie, fishing, etc... And that is why (IMO,) that although many men are happy to have a girl (or more than one,) many of them crave a son too.

30 years on, it's a standing joke in the family that Scott is 'daddy's fave!' But his 3 older sisters know their dad adores them too, and would do anything for them. And they all adore their little brother too.

Mike Tindall has done nothing wrong. Like hell will his daughters be 'affected' by what him saying he would like a boy next.

rosegoldwatcher · 09/12/2020 19:15

The Pressure on poor Zara after all her loses too.

I don't see how Zara could be 'pressured' - the sex of the child was determined at or close to conception wasn't it?

Absolutely nothing either of them can do to effect the outcome.

Thewithesarehere · 09/12/2020 19:17

Not as good for the environment as they preach, these royals?

YoureNotOnTheList · 09/12/2020 19:21

The Pressure on poor Zara after all her loses too

How is the pressure on her? It's sperm that decides the sex. And they had losses, not just her.

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 09/12/2020 19:21

So what? I would have quite liked a girl after two boys. It doesn’t mean I don’t love my third son any less than if he’d been a girl. I adore him.

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