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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mike Tindall wanting a son

198 replies

stairway · 09/12/2020 13:24

Congratulations on his wife’s pregnancy news, but I can’t believe he has actually said he really wants a son this time. The Pressure on poor Zara after all her loses too. Hopefully they’ve already had a sex scan and know it’s a boy.

OP posts:
SunshineCake · 09/12/2020 16:38

I don't think she is that early on. I hope all goes well for the three of them and it would be lovely for the girls to have a brother.

Or A Sister Hmm.

Confusedandshaken · 09/12/2020 16:39

Myself and DH said with all my pregnancies that we really wanted girls. It was the truth. We would have loved any sons we had and the proviso 'as long as they are healthy' is a given. But all other things being equal we both wanted girls.

novaparty12 · 09/12/2020 16:39

Some people just say what they want or think regardless. I don't think he meant he didn't want another girl he just said it would be nice to have a boy.. I used to go to a baby group with a grandmother and her granddaughter - I thought she was a nice lady but this child had a boys name and was always dressed like a boy, and she always tried to apologise because she was a girl and she just seemed a bit distant. Since then her son has had 2 further children and both are boys. When her sons wife was pregnant with baby number 2 I ran into her in the supermarket and she was overjoyed because "it was the right sex this time" and she actually said I expect you realised we are a family that don't do girls!!!!!! This is just pure rude - her grand daughter is now 12 and has quite a few mental health issues and now lives with her maternal grandma, this other grandma has nothing much to do with her now she has her adoring grandsons!!! I often see her in the park with them and she is so different with them than she was with her granddaughter- heartbreaking to see but she is a fierce lady who doesn't ever hide how she feels about anything!!

ineedaholidaynow · 09/12/2020 16:40

Most people who express a preference tend to only tell a few people not make it public knowledge. I am assuming if they have a girl he won't tell her he really wanted a boy, but it is now public knowledge that he really wants a boy - 'please be a boy'.

And for some people expressing that they want a particular sex does mean that they think that sex is more important and will treat that child differently, you only have to see that in certain cultures.

So I do think that it is probably something you shouldn't really put out there in the public domain.

LittleGungHo · 09/12/2020 16:41

Have you listened to the podcast? It was in the first 5 minutes and he also was talking about calling the baby Covid. I am pregnant and was not offended.

It is a relaxed podcast and if that is his view that is ok. The amount of threads on here regarding gender disappointment.

VinylDetective · 09/12/2020 16:48

It’s not that hard being the daughter of a man who wanted a son. I can’t remember not knowing my dad wanted a boy. It never occurred to me for a second that he didn’t love me. It’s a non issue.

LisaLee333 · 09/12/2020 16:48

@AdelaideK

How is it any different than numerous women on here desperate for a daughter?

There are far more threads about women disappointed they are having a son than the other way round.

This exactly. ^ Almost every woman I have met (and many men) want a daughter desperately. Some men want a son, but I have met more who want a daughter.

Everyone has a preference, whether they admit it or not.

notacooldad · 09/12/2020 16:51

Personally I'd be rather hurt if I found out my parents were hoping for a boy when they had me
I told my boys I hoped for a girl!
All's good in our house.

leftovercoffeecake · 09/12/2020 16:54

There’s an AIBU thread going on right now about gender disappointment with people saying it’s disgusting to have a preference, it’s stereotyping, and how women who want little girls are selfish. Not sure why this thread is getting such different responses!

mediciempire · 09/12/2020 16:56

I know my parents wanted a son when they had me. They already had one but they wanted another. It's not something that's really bothered me mainly because I know I'm their favourite!

Simplyunacceptable · 09/12/2020 16:56

Someone I know was so desperate for a son, she kept getting pregnant until she got one. It was positively Tudor. She had four girls until the boy came along, all c-sections as well so she risked her own life each time. Sterilised once she had the boy.

I’ve had losses in the past as I know Zara has, I think once you’ve experienced losses you don’t care about genitalia in the slightest. Your only priority is having a living baby.

ineedaholidaynow · 09/12/2020 16:57

@LisaLee333 most people on here who start threads saying they have a preference are told to be happy for what they have and it doesn't matter what the child has between their legs. Very few people tell the OP that they are right in having a preference and they should continue to think that it would be better having a child of a particular sex.

ineedaholidaynow · 09/12/2020 16:58

@notacooldad why did you do that? Was that in addition to them or instead of one of them?

dairyswim · 09/12/2020 17:00

Why would there be pressure on Zara? It's the sperm that determines the sex of the child.

Sadandsadder888 · 09/12/2020 17:01

I think given their history she’s probably further along that 12 weeks and they already know it’s a little boy

CandidaAlbicans2 · 09/12/2020 17:03

So you think he was saying won't love a third girl? because that's what "negates or cancels" would mean. No he wasn't so that is utter nonsense

@SoupDragon, what’s utter nonsense? The meaning of the word “but” when used in a sentence? Anyway, I explained in my PP so I won’t repeat it. It’s nuanced.

Ceara · 09/12/2020 17:03

I had unexplained infertility and 2 rounds of IVF, the first ending in an early loss. That didn't stop me hoping very much for a girl and having a hard time getting my head around the news at our 20 week scan that my baby was a boy. (And that in turn didn't stop me loving him absolutely - he is himself and I couldn't imagine any other child ) You feel how you feel. Nice to see someone being (light-heartedly) honest.

SimonJT · 09/12/2020 17:06

Lots of people have a preference, but it doesn’t mean they would love a child any less if they weren’t the prefered gender.

I would rather have another boy because I already have one, in reality I’m aware that each child is an individual and their gender has no impact on their personality, hobbies etc. But the non-rational side knows how to raise a boy. Of course when we are matched when the time comes I won’t care if they are a boy or girl. Whatever they are they’ll be desperately wanted, prepared for and loved .

notacooldad · 09/12/2020 17:06

notacooldad why did you do that? Was that in addition to them or instead of one of them? no it wasn't in addition to them!
I think it i told them because we were chatting about me and their dad and how we got together and their dad wanted kids but I didn't.
I said in the end I wanted girls because I didn't know a thing about boys. Also everyone convinced me I was having a girl to the point I believed it. I was ready with my girls name and Dh said we have a boy.
Its a family joke with us now!

WhatWouldYouDoWhatWouldJesusDo · 09/12/2020 17:07

TBH it's nice to see someone actually wanting a boy for a change.......the way some posters on here carry on carrying a boy is akin to birthing Satan himself. Hmm

CandidaAlbicans2 · 09/12/2020 17:08

I told my boys I hoped for a girl!

😳 @notacooldad, why did you tell them that!? OK you say "All's good in our house" so I really hope it hasn't affected them in ways that aren't obvious or that haven't come out yet. I mean, it's not exactly a positive thing to have told them is it, and I'm struggling to think of any benefit of them knowing how you really felt even if you love them to bits.

Andante57 · 09/12/2020 17:09

Its another when the child involved may read this or have it repeated back to them as an adult by a member of the press

Really, redtoothbrush?
Someone in several years time is going to remember an off the cuff comment in the paper then repeat it to the child?
Either you’re enjoying finding something to criticise about the husband of a minor royal or you can’t have much going on in your life if you’d remember one comment like that for several years.

CandidaAlbicans2 · 09/12/2020 17:11

@WhatWouldYouDoWhatWouldJesusDo

TBH it's nice to see someone actually wanting a boy for a change.......the way some posters on here carry on carrying a boy is akin to birthing Satan himself. Hmm
From what some posters (including myself) are saying is that it's not the having a preference that was "wrong" it was him saying it publicly where the child could find out. Some things are best kept private, so between him and Zara.
TurquoiseDress · 09/12/2020 17:13

I don't see the issue; he expressed a preference, they already have 2 daughters so not a massive surprise to say he'd quite like it to be a boy!

PandemicPalava · 09/12/2020 17:13

I really wanted a girl. Sure I would have loved a son too but I really wanted a daughter