Mil has verbally abused us

[foxes15]

For asking where a birthday card for our dc is.

She has turned up on the doorstep minus said card, accused us of being ungrateful for not thanking her for presents. The presents include headless hello kitty’s, regifted half used toiletries and other crap she doesn’t want.

For context this is the 3rd time in 4 years she’s done this, she is not old or unhealthy.

I’ve had a row as I feel we should go low/no contact as dc has had their birthday ruined by her behaviour.

An actual Hello Kitty with no head?

You should get your DH to say that she’ll get a thank you when the gifts she gives are safe and appropriate for the kids . Is she an alcoholic, drug user?

Chocolate ones, a big big of no headed bodies for an Easter present, she seemed quite proud of her bargain. She seemed proud

@foxes15

Chocolate ones, a big big of no headed bodies for an Easter present, she seemed quite proud of her bargain. She seemed proud

This wasn’t part of the birthday present then, but a previous gift?

What birthday gift did she bring?

He stood there mute while she rambled on about our lack of manners.

I’m not bothered I’m used to it, but to spite her grandchild to make a point is inexcusable.

She’s getting a £1 diary with birthdays marked in for Xmas. No more

The birthday gift was nothing not even a card, just a rant on the doorstep

Sorry but what do you mean by Easter? When did this happen?

While the presents sound unusual, I think it's spectaculary rude to harangue someone for not sending a birthday card. You may feel birthday cards are non negotiable but to any people, they are completely unimportant.

Did you really have to cause a row on your child’s birthday? Yes it’s shit but to save my child upset and from having a ruined birthday I would have just made an excuse to my child and waited and raised it with MIL tomorrow.

Instead all they will remember from their day is everyone arguing. You could have avoided that

My Dh's gran used to do this, she gave old used tat that smelt bad, god knows where she found it, mouldy looking teddies etc. But Dh and his siblings never even opened her presents if they could smell them. She was always a bit odd, I knew her as a kid also
Just give up on changing her.

A couple of years ago, it’s an example to explain she doesn’t buy appropriate presents or anything we should be thankful for. That freaky present cost more than a £1 Easter egg that would’ve been more suitable.

She is not poorly off, it’s a control thing.

She sounds odd, you sound rude.

Let your DH deal with his mother and leave it all to him.

What?!

She turned up on my doorstep, she raised her voice and made a scene, we sent a message asking her wheee it was.

Honestly I’d prefer her to have not turned up, we opened the door thinking she’d bought a card.

What exactly do you mean by being "verbally abused" by your MIL?

So she came to without daughter a happy birthday and you demanded a card and present, despite knowing how shitty her gift giving is.

Why even make a scene and ask. Now it's the birthday where you all argued and stopped talking. Your poor daughter.

You seem to have let lots of anger build and let rip over something really small and not done yourselves any favours.

What did your message say when you asked her where the card was? Looking at this thread alone I assume you was very rude and she probably came round to try to diffuse the situation/respond.

Why would you ask where a card was? That’s so passive aggressive.

She sounds awful and you sound antagonistic and your DH sounds wet.

You should’ve ignored the lack of card or present and just cracked on with your day.

I don’t get it. There was a problem at Easter with unsuitable gifts, there is a history of it. She came around for your child’s birthday and you asked her for a card (why ???) and she kicked off. Seems odd on both sides. Surely you could have modified your behaviour to smooth over her battshittery in that moment so there was not a fight on your child’s birthday and then once she had left gone NC for good?

A tad dramatic to say that she has totally "ruined" your DC's birthdays.

Really? Because they didn't get one extra gift?

You obviously don't like each other but please don't project your venom onto your children.

Your are both supposedly adults. Your DC's don't need to have known any of this.

She never came around to wish my dc a happy birthday, she never even asked to speak to them.

They were upstairs while the whole altercation went on, which we didn’t speak as she wouldn’t let us get a word in.

The message that was sent went along the lines.

Hi hope you’re well, I know you’re busy but it’s xxxx birthday today, are you popping around tonight?

You actually sent her a message asking where the card was? That's rude as hell. Why would you even bother?

It is made even more unbelievable by the other information. You know what she is like. She's clearly a bit if a shit. Why wouldn't you just be thankful she hadnt bothered so no crap this year? Why you poke the hornet's nest by texting her just to be rude?

She is crappy. Be glad when she doesnt bother and learn not to bother with her. Ever.

Asking where the card was sounds rather entitled I'm afraid and like you deliberately poked the bear...

You said you sent a message asking where the card was. That's not the message you just posted.

Get your story straight before you start posting on an internet forum.