To Think My Parents Have No Idea What Life Is Really Like?

[GreenlandTheMovie]

for most people?

DM was a teacher, DF some kind of computer repair engineer but took early retirement at 50. Yes, 50. Never worked again. Both on final salary pension schemes.

They were moaning this week about how "poor" they are, because their pensions don't entitle them to more than index-linked increases to keep up with inflation, unlike people in salaried jobs who can get actual pay rises (I haven't had much of a pay rise in the last decade but theres no telling them). Apparently, they don't have enough money to "do the things they want" without using their savings.

The "things they want to do" include having a large holiday home in France where they normally decamp 6 months of the year, having a Carribbean cruise and a holiday to China last year, similar holidays in previous years, and running their 5 bedroom house. They have a nearly new luxury motorhome and 2 cars. They have also benefitted from 2 large inheritances from relatives dying.

Theres no telling them - apparently, life is very unfair and hard on pensioners like them and retiring at 50 is not at all unreasonable because of the way the company was run.

Are you jealous? Do you begrudge them some luxuries in their retirement?

@Kissthepastrychef

Until recently, fire services police and military services could all retire at 50 , on generous index linked pensions.

Yep for which certainly the police officers have paid dearly. DH pays 15% of his salary into his pension - 15% every month for his 30+ years service.

A private sector employee wouldn't get anywhere near the same early retirement, lump sum and pension for that same 15%.

sticksticks Are you jealous? Do you begrudge them some luxuries in their retirement?

Already answered this twice. No, I'm not jealous. No, I don't want any money from them. Yes, I have a good job and a decent house myself. No, not all boomers. Yes, low contact for good reason.

The issue is the boasting and DF's sexist attitude towards making sure women work full time much longer than he did when he retired at 50 to sit on his backside. And the tendency to try and get stuff for free from other people when they literally give nothing for free themselves.

YAB very U

It's real life for them.

They likely have less disposable income than when they were working. They chose to use their savings, but presumably these savings come from somewhere, did they rob a bank?

If they were promised better, had other expectations, why wouldn't they be disappointed.

Life doesn't have to be a competition to the bottom, and it's too late for them to improve their finance.

I think it’s about a third of the police staffing budget that goes towards paying the gold plated pensions of yesteryear!

If I could afford to retire at 50, I would jump on it! No need to be jealous of people who can.

It's how people end up begrudging teachers because of their holidays, civil servant for job "security", and anyone else having so-called perks you haven't - but you forget the downside of the job they chose to do, and that others are free to apply for...

My DM and DF both in late 80’s now and long divorced. Both worked at a time when women didn’t work or if they did it was part time. Mortgages were far far lower than they are now. I do remember the 15% interest rates but my mortgage was £50k. No one had mortgages of £200k plus, my DF sold his West London home for over £1 m despite having paid £5k for it in the 60’s. He always said he never had any money. That was not true. I am his POA and manage his finances now.

So house prices were completely different, London was affordable providing you had two parents working (something that is very common now but in their day wasn’t)

@Mintjulia no I don't hate them ( if you mean my mums friends) not at all!!

I said I hate lazy generalisations that all boomers are spoiled and lacking in empathy as thats not my experience.

The final salary pensions are what do it for most. No worrying about the stock market. 60 was the norm to retire. Now it’s what 65 plus?

I do find DF quite sexist - he's quite bossy around women and likes to check up that they've returned to full time work after having children

So in his view, being a SAHM mum doesn't count as full-time work?

ProfessionalWeirdo So in his view, being a SAHM mum doesn't count as full-time work?

Good heavens, no! Only full time work counts! He was quite scathing of SIL when she went part-time but they now talk about her when boasting as she is back to full-time. DM worked full time throughout, just taking time off for his maternity leave.

He has a strange attitude about how women should all be working as hard as possible. Doesn't seem to apply the same rules to men and makes excuses for them.

There was no maternity leave when l was at work. So had to leave work and try to get another job after each child was born. Women just going off on maternity leave, knowing they could certainly return could not believe this when l told them later on.
Also the NHS did not allow part time workers to pay into the pension scheme years ago and there was such a thing as ,'the married women's stamp' which did us no favours.
Fortunately l enjoyed working.

Lots of my friend's parents are like this. And they mostly voted Brexit - which is nice.

Won’t the people complaining about their parents obscene wealth stand to inherit it? Will they turn it down or give it to charity?

Why do all posts like that attract posts from people saying "but interest rates were high in the 80s...." ignoring the fact that it was still possible for one income families in "normal" jobs to buy housing in most places.....

*parents’

No need to be jealous of people who can.

Are ppl even reading OP's posts? She's not jealous at all, she's sick of them wanting people to do things for free for them and also the dad being sexist and wanting women to work until retirement when he never did! HitthatroadJack

OP, I often find that when ppl get a good deal, they resent the idea of anyone else getting a good deal too.

My father retired at 50 (headteacher) and apart from a brief stint at painting and decorating, has basically sat on his arse ever since. My mum carried on supply and mat leave cover teaching for a while longer. To be fair, my mother has always worked, including going back to work when I was 3 months old back in the 70s and with my sister in the 80s (by that point they had a detached house that they had to service a mortgage for).
They were tight as ducks arses when we were growing up. Didn't go abroad or to cafés pubs, restaurants, theme parks, days out etc - didn't own a video player.
They have generous final salary pensions and now own five properties outright, including an enormous holiday house in France, which they bugger off to for months on end.
All the kids' Christmas and birthday presents are from the middle aisles of Aldi and for my 40th I received the 'usual' £50 cheque.
I have a condition (lipoedema) that causes me a great deal of pain and distress, for which regular treatment and surgery isn't available on the NHS. I've never taken my younger two children swimming, can't wear normal clothes that everyone else can and won't strip off or go on the sea at the beach whenever we stay with them - they know full well how bad it looks and how much it affects me. It hasn't even occurred to them to offer to help fund any surgery.
When I lived abroad and was escaping DV, despite the fact at that point they own a transit van and were doing regular trips to their holiday home in a neighbouring country, it didn't occur to them to come and bring me home. I flew to Heathrow with a toddler, a pushchair and three enormous holdalls, then took a National Express for 3 hours - they picked us up from a station half an hour away from home.
They are very kind to friends and acquaintances and not 'bad' parents, I just think that since people are just completely oblivious as to how fortunate they are.
They're well into their 70s now and it is very freeing to know that I feel under absolutely no obligation whatsoever to help with their care.

Some boomers left school at 15 and are still working and paying tax. Many are women who never had the chance to stay home and play house. They never had the chance to go to university either even if they were more than capable.

It's Ok to pick out some (ex public sector?) who retired early on pensions most people could only dream of. Yes some did well and some of every generation do well.

I

We’re talking about OPs family, not the whole generation. And sorry OP but they sounds so annoying!

@GloriousKnickerBockers so sorry, they should have been kinder to you . Here's hoping you get a decent inheritance though, for your kids (not that it sounds like you want anything from them anymore).

What is the point of this thread? For OP to tell us all what awful parents she has? Or for a lot of other people to start an ageist rant.?

There is no humour, no intellectual content, nothing educational, nothing to learn. There is also very little understanding of "what life was like" in any other period or in any other country/ social class than the posters''s own.

15% interest was not fun, nor was the high inflation.

Who can say for certain that this will never happen again and was a once in a lifetime occurence ?

Final salary pension scheme? What's that?!

GloriousKnickerBockers All the kids' Christmas and birthday presents are from the middle aisles of Aldi and for my 40th I received the 'usual' £50 cheque.

I was getting confused that we were actually siblings until I realised yours are much more generous with presents! Mine are very much of the old fashioned £10 is enough for a present style. Its not a problem, I don't expect anything.

But yes, exactly the same attitude. They would never go out of their way to help anyone. DB had a serious accident a few years ago and couldn't work (plumber) and they pestered his DW relentlessly about how she would need to go back to work full time now. They went on and on about how they were poor pensioners and certainly weren't going to help out financially.

You know, the more I think about it, the more I think their attitude is really odd. I really am a bit disgusted by them moaning about them not getting salary rises with their pensions - their pensions are index-linked but they were moaning that they don't actually get raises, like you get in a job! It always upsets me and I always bite my tongue, but they just aren't very likable people - they literally do nothing for anyone but themselves and have led such a spoilt lifestyle for year that their good fortune has somehow turned them into snobs.

If only they would do something - well perhaps seventies is a little old now, but they have had 2 decades of doing nothing but pursue pleasure. If they would occasionally volunteer or help a neighbour, I'm sure they would have benefitted greatly from it.