To ask what's the rudest thing a stranger has done to you?

[YoungScrappyHungry]

Inspired by the lovely thread about kindest thing strangers have done for you, and also a chance for me to share this horror.

When I was 19, I worked on the tills at a supermarket in my holidays from university.

A woman I was serving was staring at me, trying to get my attention as I scanned her stuff. I looked up at her and smiled. She said, in still the most condescending tone I've ever heard:

'Don't you wish you'd studied now?'

I was so floored and ashamed, I didn't say a thing back and just carried on scanning her things. Fact was I was actually at university, but even if I hadn't been....aghh!....still gets me.

What are yours?

@FightingWithTheWind

My daughters and I are ginger, when my eldest was born I had a middle age woman look at her in the pram and say: "oh dear, well at least you can dye it" followed by "I think i'd drown it if I had a ginger child". I was so shocked that I hardly reacted and I still feel sick that I didn't today. It certainly wasn't the only negative comment we've had, we've even had idiots throw something from us out of a car whilst shouting 'gingers' but that comment was the one that affected me the most, probably because it was such a sickening thing to say about anyone let alone a 3 week old baby.

Oh my god. Who are these oxygen thieves who say this sort of thing.

I hope this was not in Whitstable because there is an antique shop just off the beach owned by a very rude old man there

On a night out in my early 20’s
Had taken lots of effort and care in my appearance as always.
Was walking down the street with a blonde friend
Young men walk by say
“ you’re hot , she’s not “ to my blonde friend and gang of them walk away sniggering

Seems silly now but honestly killed me at the time , felt so ugly and plain as the brunette .

I think if that happened now at my age I would not bat an eyelid.

As a teen in a nightclub 'look at the arse on that ' I was massively insecure and looking back I had a lovely figure but I assumed he was insulting me. So much so that I didn't trust a 'boy' until I was 24.
And if my daughter heard someone say that to her she would have a lot to say back.

Many years ago, while in a bar with friends, a man grabbed my crotch and squeezed. I returned the favor, much harder and didn't stop till he was on his knees, then loudly announced, "DO NOT TOUCH WOMEN UNINVITED! You can get hurt that way!" He was escorted out and banned from the bar. Had quite a few drinks bought for our group, all by women, that night.

My son had been in my care for less than 24 hours – emergency foster placement when I took him to our local children’s shoe shop to get fitted shoes. He had significant needs and clearly was really struggling in the shop, the assistant was wonderful but there was a women there with her daughter who proceeded to say very loudly “ you never behaved like that darling, that mum really needs to deal with her little boy or he will end up in a lot of trouble ”. I was never going to say something in front of my son but Unfortunately for the women she left the shop as I just finished strapping him into his car seat and once the door was shut I told her exactly what I thought of her judgmental attitude and I how I felt she was the one actually doing a disservice to her child . I did then get in the car and cry …. 10 years later, I’m much less affected by people like her and their narrow minded views.

@CorvusPurpureus

Maybe a bit niche, this one, but I was teaching a novel for GCSE English Literature, which has a shocking/upsetting ending.

My very lovely top set year 11s were appalled when we got to the end.

I'd done quite a bit with them on the author's background - which was big on her religious beliefs, & they were genuinely pissed off that she'd had such a horrible & uncalled for denouement in mind. It was unfair. It visited horror on the well meaning protagonist & his innocent family.

Now, I was happy that we'd just read a schlocky horror novel, but y11 were not.

Ok, I said, let's email the author, shall we? So I did, politely asking if we'd all missed something & the hero had deserved the awfulness.

Well. She got back to me within 20 minutes, to explain that my class were clearly irredeemably stupid & I was evidently too thick to understand her fabulous creation. Year 11 were agog. We all went off to lunch still arguing about whether it was worth reading a book when the author was a self evident total arsehole, so it made for a fascinating discussion.

It was the most amazingly rude email I've ever read! It was...well, it was bloody awesome tbh. I've treasured it for years & dig it out occasionally when teaching Macbeth - ties in nicely to the slaughter of the little Macduffs.

But it was staggeringly, sublimely vile & aggressive.

Author was interviewed by the Guardian a few weeks later saying how much she hated her books being taught because blah blah thick teachers (still happy to take the exam board quids though eh).

I'd like to think 11ENG1 inspired that .

I had to google who that was! She sounds utterly awful, definitely gone down in my esteem. That guardian interview is 😳

First day in a Spanish class at work in a large multinational company. We were all introducing ourselves and talking about where we were from etc - all one by one with the teacher while the rest of the class listened. It was really interesting as everyone had very different backgrounds and had all lived and worked in different countries and spoke different countries... I had quite good Spanish back then and was enjoying my turn - felt I was nailing it actually! The teacher, who had been very courteous and diplomatic with everyone else suddenly asked "Es verdad que estas tacano? Or something like that and I just couldn't understand what he was asking so asked him several times to repeat and explain. I was kind of smiling and innocently trying to understand but then I became aware that people were smiling and laughing....then it finally dawned on me that he was asking "am I stingy (tight with money)?

I'm Scottish btw

A man punched me on the arm when I was walking along completely lost in thought.

It was such a shock that I immediately burst into tears and he was apologising profusely. I have no idea if he was having a bad day or if something more serious was going on but don't think he was expecting the sudden waterworks.

It was quite an aimed punch and in daylight, pedestrian street, no idea why that happened.

Just thought of another, I used to self harm so have a few scars on my arms. Took a lot of counselling to stop covering them up, I was training a newbie at work and he went “what the fuck is that?” I was confused and realised he was talking about my arm. I said oh, right. I had a tough time when I was young so they’re self harm scars. He said “why on earth don’t you cover them up if you don’t want people to think you’re mental”

In addition I was one of the posters working in a service job who was accused of being thick and retorted with the fact I was going to uni. I went to uni, failed, dropped out and returned to the company i was originally a call centre agent for and been there ever since! Have utmost respect for those dealing with fucking idiots the general public and now I always defend call centre workers to the hilt - to my detriment on Mumsnet as per my previous post

It was raining heavily one night as i was driving. A car coming from the other end was speeding at 35-40 on a 20 miles road. I had to stop but there was barely any space for me to move my car in.. the guy had to stop , he had ample space, while I reversed and gave him space to continue. He brought his car near mine and stopped , opened his window and spat on my windscreen n drive off.

When I was ringing round schools for DS one headteacher said “does he have a dad?”

Many years ago my nephew and I went to a computer shop to buy a machine. We waited for an assistant to become free and just as one did, another man jumped in and nabbed the assistant. He knew we were ahead of him and he had jumped the queue. He was asking about a printer and then a few minutes later, he left.

The assistant began to serve us when the man re-entered the shop. Although he could see that the assistant was occupied he walked up and began speaking to him as though I was invisible. I said "Excuse me but this assistant is serving me now and you will have to wait your turn. You pushed your way in front of me once already and your not going to do it again!"

To the assistant. "Your on commission right? Well Ive got a pocket full of cash waiting to buy rather than just talk about buying"

Im quite a tall lady and can do quite an assertive "edge" to my voice when I wish. The man just stood there, looking shocked that a woman had put him in his place. I pointed to the door. Then he quickly left the shop.

I was helping at a garden party my parents were hosting. My younger sister was there so was my youngest child.

One of the guests said my daughter looked so like me and was she at university? My daughter was 4 and my slightly younger sister was 32! She thought they were both my children. I have never felt so old in all my days.

Didn’t actually happen to me but to my sister and I witnessed it. She had not long had surgery for a brain tumour and we were out Christmas shopping (nothing too heavy but she loves Christmas and wanted out the house) and we were walking up stairs in the shopping centre. She rightfully was walking holding onto the handrail when a guy coming down on the same side tried to make her move and was huffing and puffing and trying to intimidate her. Didn’t bank on me shouting at the top of my lungs “she’s just had fucking brain surgery you arsehole” 😡 other shoppers rightfully stared and tutted at him and he ended up going round her. He’s lucky she wasn’t at full capacity or she would have lamped him one.

As an 18 year old I was very slim but with big boobs which I hated (and still do). I was an a nightclub when a random at the bar told me that my boobs were disgusting and made him want to be sick. I honestly just wanted to die.

I was in Boots and had taken my planned purchases to the counter. I had quite a few vouchers and the cashier asked me in a very accusatory manner if I had "found them on the floor". I was gobsmacked but when and reported her immediately to her supervisor.

When I was childminding (I was 21), i took 3 mindees to toddler group and I overheard a horrible group of women behind me talking about how the kids probably all have different dads. I turned and said "yes, and they all have different mums too" they were confused for a while.

@Ffsseriously

All the people saying how customers were rude saying you will end up like this if you dont study. They then gleefully point out they were studying. You really are agreeing with the rude people. You are quick to point out you are more than just bar staff or shop workers, so you are just as rude. Its no come back or challenge to the ingrained snobbish in the remark.

I was also going to say this

When I was 18 and newly married, we were entertaining some friends, nothing fancy, just a few friends, having a get together. I was in the kitchen, about to bring out some snacks and I heard a "friend" say to my DH, I don't even know how you can make love to that, she's SO skinny! It must be like making love to a skeleton! My lovely DH had serious words, and I received a very sincere apology. I think the apology was helped along by 4 other male guests "encouraging" him!!
I have always been very small, 4' 11" and at that time, I was about 6.5 stone. I'm still 4' 11" and now 61. I still struggle with my weight. I'm now 7.5 stone, but still get derogatory remarks from people. I'm bored, with still being patted on the head, Oh, isn't she sweet! comments.
Another time, at my DH work team building thing, his boss groped me. Grabbed my breast and squeezed. DH was across the room, so oblivious. I punched the boss, so hard, he ended up on his back, about 4 feet away from me.
DH was horrified! He's my fucking boss!
I don't give a flying fuck who he thinks he is. He groped me! My very DH had words and left, two weeks later. I think it's horrifying, that this is still happening, some 40 years later. It's so sad. Do they not realise, that if it wasn't for us women, they wouldn't be here?

Oh! Just remembered another. At the GP, having a smear test. Deepest joy.
Ankles together love, you know the drill. Let your knees flop and relax. You know the drill love.
Oh my! We ARE relaxed aren't we .....
I was 29 years old with 3 glorious children, and I haven't had a smear test since. Wild horses couldn't drag me to another of those.

I've been sexually assaulted three times and exposed to twice by strange men.

I used to work in a specialised call centre, even though it was specialised I’m sure if I named it everyone here would recognise it’s name. We had all sorts calling us from all over the UK. On a normal day we would be shouted at regularly because the callers didn’t understand what they had to do and it was our fault that they didn’t on one day I had been shouted at by so many people and a woman came through who started off so well, yet by the time I’d explained what she needed to do and that she had a short space of time to do this she had turned into a raging banshee, she was screaming at me and swearing. I asked her not to swear and said if she continues to shout I’d end the call as I’m merely trying to assist her. Well, if I did, she started shouting how I didn’t know how to use the english language (my first language is English) and that she had an LLB so she knew more about it than me. To which I replied, “I also have an LLB which is why I have this job.” Then I hung up on her.

People really do become vile when they’re on the other end of the phone, I worked with a number of veterans, and the same people who each November in all likelihood are wearing poppies and shouting about respect for veterans, are the same people who reduced a number of veterans with PTSD in that company to tears, i’ve seen a grown well built proud man crying over the aggressive way a caller spoke to him due to his PTSD. People in the service industry really are treated so poorly, but people in call centres? They have things said to them individuals would never dare say face to face. It’s awful.

(Despite all this I loved my job and only left there to move to another department in the same area)

@HallieKnight

I don't know, being stabbed was rather rude

I'm sorry you were stabbed but this is the most brittish thing I've ever read

With DS1 on a busy bus stuck in traffic. He started to cry as it was hot and he wanted to get out of the pram, but i couldn't get him out as the bus was really busy and people were crammed in like sardines - I was standing behind his pram and could barely move . An old man starts shouting at me to shut him up! Told me I was a bad mother for not controlling him.

I said loudly he's a baby I can't do anything. The old man started shouting at me when some other lady shouted at him to shut up and even the teenagers standing nearby said "he's a baby fam, babies cry!" The whole of the bottom of the bus gave him the evil eye and I was so relieved my heart could have burst!