Annoying guests thread

[qwertyuiop098]

Inspired by the absolutely cracking annoying things about other people's homes threads, what annoys you about guests at your home?

I'll start - when people stay over because they live too far to travel home after a night out/late dinner...but then overstay their welcome the next day lying in until the afternoon or not taking the hint to get going.

When people leave the toilet seat up.

Making snide comments about my home e.g. MIL "ugh why do you not have any normal milk? I don't like that oat milk!"

Not bringing anything/saying thank you/returning the invitation.

I don’t have a problem with using the word no

Neither do I
You don't have to be confrontational about it, just politely assertive.

We just don't have CF guests. As I said earlier I think, over the years our bullshit radar is pretty finely tuned. Also, we would have no problem in politely telling someone if they were being unreasonable.

Guests who get up before 7am irritate me. I’m usually up at 5:30 and like to have my coffee and breakfast in peace before talking to them. And I don’t like them seeing me in my PJs unless they’re close family. One of my DH’s friends gets up at 6am every day and does ‘helpful’ things like unloading the dishwasher noisily and waking the rest of the household.

I don’t like guests who expect to be waited on. I show them where the kettle, tea, coffee, breakfast stuff is and tell them help yourselves to anything from fridge/cupboards etc. I do cook a meal at night but expect them to make their own lunch without me laying everything out on the table. Some guests just sit there waiting for me to offer to make them lunch or a drink! I always tell them they’re welcome to pop a pizza in the oven or boil an egg for lunch etc.

Guests with very specific requests are irritating eg ‘do you have soy milk?’ (No, but if you’d told me before I did the Tesco shop I would have bought some. And I always ask if they want anything specific before they come).

My favourite guests are the ones who go out exploring, help themselves to drinks, snacks and food and help without being asked eg take the initiative to put food away after dinner or put their plate in the dishwasher!

As I said earlier I think, over the years our bullshit radar is pretty finely tuned

Same here.

When we first moved here, we were excited for people to come and stay, we’d moved a couple of hundred miles away from ‘home’ so it was nice to see family and friends and we said yes to most people who asked.

We’re in a very popular holiday so the summer was always busy.

We had some right horrors to stay so over the years you live and learn. Some friends and family are great and are welcome whenever, some have been absolute horrors so is a flat out no.

The ones who start “we were thinking about a holiday in xxx next year” get “that’s great, let us know when you’re here and we’ll meet up for dinner”. Never usually hear from them again until the next year.

Turning up early. I usually give a time and let them know when the meal will be ready (usually an hour later) but one set of guests always turns up early even if I tell them we won’t be in til X time and always act put out when we aren’t there.

Not mentioning dietary requirements before they arrive.

@Mikki77

Anyone who brings Blossom Hill wine should be shot!

Years ago we would have dinner with another couple at each other's homes and early on one of us brought a bottle of Yugoslav Riesling that didn't get drunk so it made a return trip next time etc, this went on for a few years! When we were going to be leaving the area we decided to eventually open it, it was as 'good' as we expected!

@Springersrock

As I said earlier I think, over the years our bullshit radar is pretty finely tuned

Same here.

When we first moved here, we were excited for people to come and stay, we’d moved a couple of hundred miles away from ‘home’ so it was nice to see family and friends and we said yes to most people who asked.

We’re in a very popular holiday so the summer was always busy.

We had some right horrors to stay so over the years you live and learn. Some friends and family are great and are welcome whenever, some have been absolute horrors so is a flat out no.

The ones who start “we were thinking about a holiday in xxx next year” get “that’s great, let us know when you’re here and we’ll meet up for dinner”. Never usually hear from them again until the next year.

we are currently in a popular holiday spot and have learned the same.

I have also turned our spare bedroom into a study (with a sofa bed we keep quiet about).

DH used to work in a job that saw us posted abroad. we had so many visitors who came when we were in paris and vienna. Not so many in central asia.

That provided a filter of who came to see us right there.

(FWIW- Central Asia is bloody brilliant. People missed out).

Some intriguing perspectives

MIL is incontinent but refuses to wear pads. She already ruined a sofa and leaked all over the passenger seat once, so we put a mattress protector down when she stayed over. Later found that she had removed it ‘because it was crackly’ and soaked through the mattress.

@warmeduppizza she would be banned from my house. That's bloody awful!

@PandaPopz

I’m probably the one being unreasonable here but I hate being watched or spoken to when I’m in the kitchen. I offer someone a tea or coffee while in the living room and say “wait here, I’ll be right back” and a minute later they’ve followed me in and are breathing down my neck..

Also the milk thing, we only have plant based milks and I don’t want to spend money on “normal” milk for ethical and health reasons and also to then have three quarters of a pint going to waste in my fridge...

I feel the same about fake milk - but I would still get some in if a guest asked.

2 nights is my limit with family and 1 with friends.

DH’s family were unbelievable - they would just turn up with little/no notice and expect to be hosted - usually from the states/Germany. DH worked long hours and I had three small children.
We managed to put a stop to it by luck. DH’s German uncle turned up one evening and asked to stay for a few days - unfortunately, 3 of my uni friends were already staying, with their children! There wasn’t even a big of floor for him and he begrudgingly went to a hotel.
Then, the following year DH’s uncle from the US turned up in speck to find we’d gone on holiday - he even called DH to find out who had spare keys (no-one).
Neither of them came again and they’re no longer here. We kept saying we would love to see them, but we needed a mutually convenient time.

@FizzyPink

I would rather guests bring nothing! I hate when they bring one of those really cheap bottles of wine that are about £4 in corner shops and look it as well! I end up giving them away to raffles or tombolas

I was once told not to take wine to a dinner party as the hosts will have planned the wine for the meal and feel pressured to open your offering.

When they leave some of their stuff behind thinking you’ll use them. They always seem to leave their left over toiletries. I don’t want it!

Also the milk thing, we only have plant based milks and I don’t want to spend money on “normal” milk for ethical and health reasons and also to then have three quarters of a pint going to waste in my fridge...

If you had guests staying for an overnight or a few days would you tell them that you don't have dairy milk in the house? If you don't I think that is rather unfair. I wouldn't expect to be given a meal/meals containing meat or fish in a vegetarian/vegan household, but as a tea drinker I would feel very disappointed at being given black tea or tea with plant milk. So I would appreciate prior warning so that I could bring my own dairy milk (checking with the host if they were OK with that first)

Also the milk thing, we only have plant based milks and I don’t want to spend money on “normal” milk for ethical and health reasons and also to then have three quarters of a pint going to waste in my fridge...

If you are willing to host, then at least warn your guests so they can bring, and then take, milk with them.

@Spaghettibetty345

When they leave some of their stuff behind thinking you’ll use them. They always seem to leave their left over toiletries. I don’t want it!

I do! I love trying out various shower gels and stuff that people leave behind!

People who linger far too long. Got a couple friend like that who will linger for hours after I’ve done my best ‘ahh, I’m knackered!!’ Etc 🥱🥱 It’s the reason we prefer to visit them or go to the pub with them cos we can leave whenever we want!

The ones that ignore the fairly basic animal regulations eg don't let the lurcher hang around outside without being on a rope, in his run, or supervised by me, and don't let the cat in the house under any circumstances.

They see the sign that reads 'NO CATS STRICTLY BY ORDER', with a picture of my cat, and a red line through it. They say 'You do realise cats can't read, don't you?' and I explain that it's not for the fucking cat to read, it's for visitors. Then they ignore the sign anyway and let the cat eat the entire weekend's supply of food and laugh at me when I have to jump up from my meal in a total rage because he's inhaled half a cake in 10 seconds. (Yes, I feed him - cat food - he's just an arsehole.)

The ones who turn up empty handed and spend the whole weekend demanding booze and tobacco.

The ones who expect me to feed their kids but don't tell me when and what their kids eat, and it turns out that it's always the wrong time and always the wrong food.

The ones who stay longer than agreed, or don't tell me when they plan to leave.

The ones who bring a dog that looks just like mine which then proceeds to savage the neighbour's sheep - which puts my dog at direct risk of being shot.

The ones that come in winter with no jumpers or coats and no idea how to maintain a fire, which essentially means I am on house arrest until they leave otherwise they'll die of exposure.

My ex who comes thinking I'll shower him with sympathy for his weird stalkerish behaviour towards his latest girlfriend, and then gets shitty with me when I point out that his behaviour is crossing several lines and is no longer acceptable on any level in 2020.

I could go on.
But the majority of my guests are wonderful. Some of them make me feel like the guest and keep bringing me tea and cake and food. I'm fine with that!

@warmeduppizza

MIL is incontinent but refuses to wear pads. She already ruined a sofa and leaked all over the passenger seat once, so we put a mattress protector down when she stayed over. Later found that she had removed it ‘because it was crackly’ and soaked through the mattress.

I think you "win" the thread with this .

God knows what her home must be like. Why the hell won't she wear pads?

I think most people would be mortified at the prospect they might pee on someone's sofa/bed never mind actually doing it knowing you had means to prevent it...

We had some friends who said they fancied a cruise on the canal. We agreed a long weekend on our narrowboat,but when they turned up they wanted to extend it to a week. We booked the extra time off work and if we went. Unfortunately they seemed to think they had booked on a hotel boat, they did nothing. In the morning they would be sat waiting for us to make breakfast. We would cook, serve it up and clear away afterwards, we would then have to do all the washing up. They didn't make a brew during the day, but would help themselves to the booze and spirits, none of which they provided! Same with lunch and dinner, they would expect to be waited on and do nothing as we cooked the food, all of which we had brought. We stopped at several pubs along the canal and though they bought drinks, they always managed to disappear if we had a meal and the bill had arrived. They also watched us fill up with diesel without offering anything towards the cost. It turned into a very expensive holiday.
When we got back to the marina, they said "that was great, we must do it again next year". Needless to say, that didn't happen.

Couple (family members) asked to stay over midweek with no warning. They were close family members so we said yes. Evening meal there were 4 pieces of meat for four of us but one of us couldn't eat meat at the time. Dishing up, the guest put the extra piece of meat on her husband's plate without asking who wanted it or dividing it up. After dinner we are all sat there and her husband starts making noises and rubbing tummy asking 'what's for pudding?' Puzzled, I looked at him and said 'nothing, it's midweek, we don't eat pudding midweek'. We didn't live close to shops etc so his wife gets up, goes in the kitchen and makes him a sponge based pudding from scratch!

A good friend of mine and her partner put up another good friend of mine as a nice thing to do when I got married. They knew each other but not well.

I’m not sure what happened, never got to the bottom of it. But both couples said separately...never again!

Visiting friend isn’t the tidiest and I think may have left the guest bathroom with towels on the floor (horror). Visiting friend seems to have found staying there stifling with lots of unwritten rules they’d broken.

I’m intrigued....

@GiraffeNecked

A good friend of mine and her partner put up another good friend of mine as a nice thing to do when I got married. They knew each other but not well.

I’m not sure what happened, never got to the bottom of it. But both couples said separately...never again!

Visiting friend isn’t the tidiest and I think may have left the guest bathroom with towels on the floor (horror). Visiting friend seems to have found staying there stifling with lots of unwritten rules they’d broken.

I’m intrigued....

That reminds me of a very simialr situation. I had a friend who was actually very high maintenance- she seemed relaxed as long as you were doing exactly what she wanted you to do.

Friends stayed at hers after a party. She lost her temper in the morning and literally threw them out of her house .... because they had the utter temerity to eat their breakfast.... in the dining room. Apparently they should have eaten it somewhere else because the dining room was ONLY for dinner.

It was a bit bizarre.

(Years later she fell out with me because I had the cheek to accept a dinner invitation to someone's house and had not asked the hosts to include her in the invitation as well... she sent me reams of abusive e-mails about that and I thought 'fuck off'. It had been a long time coning though. She would get angry if I went grocery shopping without her. )

One of my friends used to leave used tissues, sweet wrappers, crumbs and half eaten bits of food everywhere eg down the sofa, tucked under cushions, even under her pillow in the guest room! I had no idea why as we have bins or waste paper baskets in almost every room. The last straw was finding a half eaten peach under my favourite sofa cushion a week after she’d left!

In the end I had a gentle word with her and she was mortified, hadn’t noticed she was doing most of it.
She also said she felt shy eating in front of my DH (no idea why) so if he walked into the room she instinctively shoved whatever she was eating out of sight and forgot about it. Hence the peach under the cushion 😂

She still visits but uses the bins more now. And we laugh about the peach.

My ex DP’s best friend and his wife came to stay with their 6 month old baby. I had bought a microwave that I didn’t really want as they had a microwave bottle steriliser and I didn’t want to inconvenience them, and they brought a ton of frozen baby food that I didn’t have room for in our freezer. So as I threw loads of perfectly good food out to make space for it, the wife, watching me do this without acknowledgment, goes “wow you’ve got the smallest freezer in the world!” It was a perfectly normal sized 4 drawer freezer under the fridge . The next day we went out for a walk along the seafront and she had a massive strop and walked off... because she didn’t want to go for a walk so glad I never had to see them again when I split with dp!