Annoying guests thread

[qwertyuiop098]

Inspired by the absolutely cracking annoying things about other people's homes threads, what annoys you about guests at your home?

I'll start - when people stay over because they live too far to travel home after a night out/late dinner...but then overstay their welcome the next day lying in until the afternoon or not taking the hint to get going.

When people leave the toilet seat up.

Making snide comments about my home e.g. MIL "ugh why do you not have any normal milk? I don't like that oat milk!"

Not bringing anything/saying thank you/returning the invitation.

@QueenOfLabradors if she told us ahead of time it would be ok we could arrange to take her to the shops or she could use the perfectly stocked 365 day corner shop for a few days like she does every week. I’m done bites to be having my Boxing Day back fit the first time in 14 years. I
Light sound cold sending her home but when you only get the standard fats off it feels like your holiday has been stolen a bit.

With the stripping the bed thing... I'm more annoyed when a cousin who lives in Oz and is definitely not going to be coming back to the UK for at least another two years solemnly makes up the bed on the last morning she's here before we run her back to Heathrow. Are we really going to not use the spare room for anyone else for the next 24 months? As a couple of pps have said, the sensible easy way to do any of these things is to just ask what the house rules are and follow them. Stuff like shoes on or off indoors? I usually ask about any vagaries with the plumbing that I should know too - although a lot of that is because I was brought up in deep countryside with no electricity let alone mains water and drainage and doing anything to upset the boiler or septic tank was the biggest crime you could commit!

@BashfulClam I think you've been hit by autocorrect but I get what you're saying

Don't wear my dressing gown 😡

Yes Bashful Clam I am very familiar with (wealthy) baby boomer age relatives who provide hardly any food, pretending that they are too old and frail to eat a normal
sized meal when you go to their house. And then they come to your house they keep going back for seconds and eat you out of house and home!

@QueenOfLabradors aw ffs my phone hates me!

@ichundich

I have some friends who get this all the time;they have adult children who've left home so have they 2 vacant double bedrooms.

They live a 20 minute drive from a very popular designer outlet and the local train station is only a short journey to a big city popular with shoppers and tourists and also has a major airport.

Well you can guess the rest.They live about an hour&45 minute drive from us.When we visit we stay in a hotel nearby unless they invite us to stay there but when we've the kids with us we always stay in a hotel.

If their hosting we go out to eat with then and we pay as a thank you for their hospitality.

I’m probably the one being unreasonable here but I hate being watched or spoken to when I’m in the kitchen.

I'm the same! Due to co-ordination difficulties (a) cooking, washing up, etc. require my ABSOLUTE concentration, and I cannot chat while doing these things; (b) I am extremely self-conscious about my slowness and awkwardness about such things, and always imagine that others are inwardly criticizing me or, worse, impatient with my slowness - whether they really are or not. People wouldn't distract or look over the shoulder of someone who was taking an exam, and that's exactly how this feels for me!

I remember my (lovely) mother crying once after a dinner guest had left our house. She had come straight in the front door and pointed out a cobweb on the window.
My mum had 4 kids, a FT job, and a husband that did stuff-all. No cleaner. She held it all together beautifully AND had put on a dinner for this guest. Who critiqued her home. I'm still angry about it for my mum's sake.

Friend who came to stay, got horribly pissed, slagged off my DH’s ‘posh’ accent (he speaks standard English, no discernible accent, much like me, she has a strong regional accent), then went out to ‘find someone’ to get off with, despite not knowing the area. We tried to stop her, it was impossible.

My BiL lives abroad, comes and stays for a night or two and he is great. But one time he brought a friend, who brought nothing, left her stinky socks in the corridor, could have stayed with relatives instead of us changing all our sleeping arrangements to accomodate her, and finally left a pair of stinky leggings behind in the bedroom.

I've actually made sure there are no spare beds in our house now so we can't have overnight guests

Wanting things done as they do them, I wash up and leave it to dry overnight, a guest insisted we dry it there and then. They stayed for ages then on the mornng they were due to leave sat drinking coffee until lunch-time but it did come back and bite them because there was an accident at around 11 30 on the road home so they were stuck in traffic for hours!

I don't think it's rude to NOT bring a gift. It is the nice thing to do, but I don't invite people to my home expecting some kind of payment - in alcohol, food or pot plants! I wouldn't plan the food and drink reliant on the hope that the guests will bring some wine. I make sure we have enough and if we couldn't afford it, we wouldn't invite people over.
It should be a gesture of thanks not an expectation.
I much prefer being host than guest. So nice being in your own home, and love cooking for others.
If it's a regular stay i.e. relatives coming for their holidays, then I think there is a chance for having a discussion about a contribution or splitting bills etc. Particularly if they are inviting themselves!
But if I have invited somebody to stay in my home, I expect nothing from them - they are my guest. If they want to help with the washing up etc, that's great, but I wouldn't be upset if they didn't offer.

@movingonup20

Annoying as these are, I've had some real issues being a guest, dd is autistic and all our friends know, we have been invited to meals and to overnights with kids included, but I stopped accepting invitations because of hearing snide comments when they thought we weren't in earshot that my dd is rude (she doesn't bother speaking most of the time and especially not with strangers) and that we needed to be stricter with her, nothing wrong with her etc. Girls do often present differently. Biggest issue was appalling eating, only a limited palate, others don't get how hard you worked to get her to accept peas and carrots and I was quite willing to bring her food if easier

Ha ha - reminds me of a few years ago we went to my DBs and DS (who has ASD and was about 8 at the time) was still quite tricky to feed. He did eat loads of things but was quite specific, and unfortunately, everything DB had in the fridge was outside his comfort zone.

Sausages? Skinless chipolatas fine but lovely local butchers ones - no. Pizza? - Tescos pepperoni fine but last night's Papa Johns - no. Yogurts? Petit filous fine, Muller fruit with bits in - no! It was quite funny in the end as we went through what he would eat - fruit - no. tomatoes - no. DB eventually asked - what on earth does he eat?

I replied - any meat, any fish, seafood, anything on toast, pate, any vegetables (even sprouts!) and potatoes, chips, mash, fry-ups, curry, rice, pasta, pancakes, basically anything except fruit and salad. Doesn't sound so bad then does it? But you still feel bad......

I have the perfect excuse not to have houseguests. I'm a day sleeper. I get to dodge all of the nonsense. This excludes my sons, who do visit, but rarely, and who are both night-owls themselves.

My neighbour is lovely but I rarely answer my door to her. She starts stepping into the house!

First Christmas in my new house post-divorce, two young, excited kids up since stupid o'clock and a stupidly late night on Xmas eve, my mum turns up for lunch and the very first thing she says is 'it looks like an explosion in a wrapping paper factory in here'.

Not hello, happy Christmas or anything else vaguely seasonal or pleasant. Seriously pissed me off as I'd been through a horrid long acrimonious divorce and was just starting to find my feet, and my confidence again.

I've grown balls since then and VERY LC as she just can't find a good thing to say about anything.

Wow! Glad I dont have guests! No room thankfully. Pre kids we had guests, can't think of any badly behaved ones.

I myself was terribly badly behaved back in the day, drinking too much and throwing up/being a dick.

Oh god as a person with adhd you lot sound so hard to please.
"Bring stuff to your house " but not for :
"But not for lunch "
"Watch what you put in the sink "
I don't think I'm ever staying at a friends again .

I cant stand guests or being one so generally we don't have any. But SIL came once with her grandchild in the winter. The child had no coat so we bought her one. We then proceeded to pay for every trip and meal after that for 3 days and SIL sat on her considerable fat arse and didnt lift a finger. We spent £400 in 3 days. she spoke about it a few years later and said she didnt have any money at the time , but I never understood why she didnt say anything when we were planning day trips etc.. I would have piped up at the start that I was here to visit but couldn't stretch to day trips and suggest free stuff. I remember counting the hours until she left.

The ones who are high maintenance in ways that, on the surface, seem considerate. Like the one who asks permission for absolutely everything: could she possibly get herself a glass of water, should she put this item in the fridge. Or the one that constantly compliments everything she sees.

My home may not be to someone's tastes, may need some TLC occasionally, but it's my personal space and I love being in it. Occasionally I've had someone round, made them welcome and comfortable, fed and watered them so I expect at least some good manners on their part. So when they start criticising what I've done or plan to do my home, I have no problem in telling them to leave and go elsewhere if my home offends them. As I get older I have less tolerance for bad manners whoever it's from. I wouldn't dream of being rude to my host, even close family, so see no reason to put up with it and quietly seethe. 🌹

[quote Squirrelblanket]@Ginfordinner

I am happy to tell them to bring some beers etc.

I'm yet to find a polite way of saying "and please sod off after the bacon and eggs." [/quote]
Years ago I was invited to spend the weekend at the home of a work friend and her husband. They were very clear about discussing with me plans for the weekend and get my approval, but also about what time the visit would end. I was very grateful as I didn't have to try and work out what to do (I was very young) and was pleased to have a clear idea of when the visit was over and they drove me to the station for the train home. It must have made things easier for them and it helped me relax. I've always remembered that and have done the same since. Those who try and overstay get cheerily told "I'm sorry I'm going to have to throw you out soon. Would you like me to book you a taxi now/are you OK with the route home" (if driving). I'm more likely to enjoy your company if you know when to go home afterwards! 🌹

Reminds me of my lovely in-laws. First visit SIL decides to give her five year old a bath and despite having been asked to remove them, proceeds to do this while wearing rings and leaves scratches so deep in a brand new cast iron bath that it had to be re-enamelled. Second visit, same five year old is left to brush his teeth on his own and I rush upstairs when water starts to come through the downstairs ceiling from the overflowing basin. There has been no third visit and there won’t be despite frequent requests.

I don’t have a problem with using the word no.