To give ds a glass of brandy to get him to sleep?!

[Startingoveryetagain]

The title is lighthearted incase I get flamed or is that a viable option?

Ds 9 does not sleep and it is driving me insane, not to mention physically draining me.
Its honestly like having a newborn, he has always been like this since birth but I'd hoped he would have grown out of it by now.

His normal bedtime is 8 o'clock most nights, he's up and down the stairs coming into my room until at least midnight, he then goes to sleep but is usually up again by 3-4am and gets into my bed.

I've tried everything from lavender baths and sprays on his pillow, white noise even bloody whale music!
He's obviously very tired as he's not concentrating at school, has dark circles under his eyes and will sleep in until late on the weekend of I let him. It's also driving me insane that i can't seem to get him up in the mornings either.

Any suggestions please?

I wonder if its worth asking the GP to prescribe melatonin if its affecting his schoolwork

Have you tried an anti histamine? This was actually recommended to me by a GP and it does work. He needs to break the cycle which is not easy.

Have you tried a weighted blanket?

Have you taken him to a doctor? Dyspraxia is a known cause for this type of sleep pattern. Melatonin is a great suggestion if you haven’t already tried it.

My DD takes an anti-histamine from the GP for her eczema, which also has the added bonus of making her sleepy !

Weighed blanket

Hello you have my deepest sympathy as our Dc simply runs on air and never sleeps. It's soul destroying at times!
Liquid melatonin helps hugely but does not guarantee a full nights sleep 7 days a week but it helps...
Weighted blankets are also a very useful tool but do check weight of your child versus the weight if the blanket .
We have bought every other wonder product, projectors, sprays, cushions, you name it these are the only things that have brought any success.
Best of luck!

What about a sleep meditation? My 10 year old is the same with going to sleep, she’s still awake now and whatever we try she just is awake late. Once she’s asleep she sleeps though, she’ll have a lie in at the weekends until 10/11am. Sleep meditations work well (we use Alexa) but we only use them if she’s having particular trouble getting to sleep. We also have all the sleep sprays/balms etc you can buy!
One thing I read but which we haven’t ever needed to put into practice is having a limit on the number of times they are allowed out once they’re in bed. So say 3, you’d have 3 counters or three stickers or whatever and each time he gets up he loses one. Once they are all gone, if he comes out he then loses privileges (screen time or whatever) and you ignore him. The idea being that they save up the allowed trips for if they do genuinely need a drink or whatever.
If you find a solution, I’m all ears!

My DS (8) is similar. Sometimes listening to a relaxing audiobook or even a kids meditation story can help (google Lori Lite). But the most effective thing is letting him go to sleep in our bed! It’s far from ideal but I’m viewing it as a short term fix just to ensure he’s getting enough sleep and try to get him back on track.

Yeah my doctors said its all about sleep hygiene these days so bath lights off no noise no games phones consoles in the room etc the fact that none of that makes a difference to my sons lack of sleep doesnt seem to register im just not trying hard enough

Good luck

Sounds awful for both of you. Call the gp in the morning op. My niece had a great experience with melatonin fyi.

All of the drugs??

Seriously, how about an audiobook, or the like? I suffer badly from insomnia (largely due to chronic pain), and if I start to read, I am too ‘engaged’. If I have the lights off, listening to an audiobook on low, then I often drift off. I can go back to where I remember later too. (I use Audible)
Also, a Clinical Psychologist once told me that the worst thing to do is lie there, trying to will yourself back to sleep. Just get up and do something for an hour, and then go back to bed a bit later.

Another thumbs up for melatonin if GP agrees. It solves the problem you describe but not all sleep problems DS has. I don’t use it every day. It helps reset and reinforce a good bedtime pattern for DS when needed but his main sleep problem is night terrors/sleepwalking

He's old enough not to keep coming down. Can't he stay in bed and read or watch something on TV or a screen? I never went to sleep early; I just wasn't tired.

We use the Calm app which has various stories and meditations. We do the calm environment, no bright lights, stories etc. We’ve done everything anyone has suggested to us. DS does sleep but it’s the getting to sleep that’s challenging. Weighted blankets are supposed to be 10% of your body weight.

I wondered about you going to the GP for melatonin too.

I'm wondering if 8pm is a bit early and he's not quite ready for bed then. Are there things he can do quietly in his room if not ready to sleep?

You have my sympathy as my DS is autistic and his sleep cycles round the clock. If I had to get him up for school life would have been miserable (he's home educated). There are things that help - weighted blanket, routine but nothing has sorted the cycling out.

Can you try a SAD lamp but in the morning only for half an hour say at breakfast. It’s meant to help reset your body clock so don’t use later in the day

Try a combination of a weighted blanket and an antihistamine. You could discuss melatonin with the GP if that’s ineffective

Another vote for melatonin, DD was prescribed it around a similar age. It at least let her get a chunk of sleep for a while
although she stopped taking it after a bit as she said it made her wake in the middle of the night.

Not sure if GP can prescribe, though - DD had it around 2 years ago and it had to be prescribed by a paediatrician. So better to get the ball rolling sooner rather than later if arrangements near you are anything like where I live (even without COVID.).

Is he scared? I used to be terrified being upstairs alone or when everyone was asleep. I'd do anything to stay up just so i wasn't alone. Then I'd spend all night awake.

Agree with audiobook suggestions. Horrible histories were a godsend. DS now 19 and studying history at uni so maybe short (staying in room and eventually dropping off) and long term benefit.

GPs can’t prescribe melatonin unless it is initiated by a specialist and used for certain specific medical conditions such as ADHD.

And if he is scared. Is there space for him to sleep in with you? Better than medicating him surely and he will eventually deal with it in his own time.

8pm sounds very early for a 9 year old, mind you i don't know what time he gets up at