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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think stop shaming sanitary pads!

231 replies

BooFuckingHoo2 · 06/12/2020 23:44

I’ll call eat this by saying I have ASD.

From high school for me it was encouraged by teachers (PE) to “use tampons”. So from 12 I used tampons (painfully) because sanitary towels were considered “gross” or girls were worried they could be seen under their PE kit.

This carried on with “friends” causally by them being like ew who used pads.

I was twenty fucking six until I dared use a pad because I had a bad UTI and by god the relief was immense, no longer having to reluctantly shove things up myself. It’s not like “wearing a nappy” at all.

AIBU to think there’s a social pressure to use tampons?

OP posts:
Yerroblemom1923 · 07/12/2020 11:28

Don't they even make pads for thongs now though? I'm pretty sure I've seen a Bodyform ad with a pad that seemed considerably narrower at one end...I may be wrong?!

Tigger85 · 07/12/2020 11:30

I have a cystocele and rectocle from my D's forceps delivery that I need to have surgery to fix. I can't use tampons or cups due to the prolapses, I work shifts that are a minimum of 12 hours long with no where to discretely change and then store reusable pads or pants and I'd need more than one for a 12-15 hr shift so it's disposable pads for me and no swimming if on my period. I'm not ashamed of it, you need to use whatever works for you.

BashfulClam · 07/12/2020 11:32

@jessstan1 it shouldn’t hurt but I have a tilted cervix so it does. I can feel them no matter how far up I push them and they are bloody uncomfortable. Also hurt like hell coming out.

Mintjulia · 07/12/2020 11:37

The only person who ever pushed me to use a tampon was my swimming teacher for purely practical reasons. I didn't experience it from anywhere else. But then it was hardly a topic of conversation.

I have no idea what anyone else uses outside of two very close friends and neither of them is so unpleasant as to try to apply undue pressure. They wouldn't be friends for long if they had.

Also, how can anyone else tell what you use, unless you tell them?

IntermittentParps · 07/12/2020 12:08

Don't they even make pads for thongs now though?
Yes, there's loads.

PandaBearCub · 07/12/2020 13:37

I’ve never felt pressured to wear tampons. I’ve used sanitary pads since I was a pre-teen. I’m younger than OP.

CaptainCabinets · 07/12/2020 13:39

I think there should be more pressure to scrap disposable sanpro of any variety, really. I’m personally not a massive fan of pads but I’ve used a cup for over a year now and it’s the best switch I’ve ever made, and far more comfortable than tampons.

SoupDragon · 07/12/2020 13:50

I think there should be more pressure to scrap disposable sanpro of any variety, really.

Yeah, let's give women less choice. Stuff that.

doctorhamster · 07/12/2020 13:52

It was the opposite when I was at school! I remember being told tampons were disgusting because my friends all used pads.

ItsAlwaysSunnyOnMN · 07/12/2020 13:56

I’m surprised no one felt more pressure

When I think of advertising up until when pads became much thinner and with wings I’m sure the the adverts for tampons were geared more towards younger women and pads the women tended to be older

I have used a moon cup I didn’t like it (could feel it) and I found it messy

Goosefoot · 07/12/2020 14:34

@Yerroblemom1923

I remember in our school you weren't allowed to be excused from games (inc swimming) for having your period. Our PE teacher (female) was harsh/v big on not letting it stop you participating in normal life etc. You either had to get your parent to write a note (making up something other than having your period!) or forge a letter yourself! My dd is so much more fortunate these days as the PE wear is much less ridiculously skimpy - joggers, skorts etc you could even wear a pad and no one would notice (although possibly not gymnastics....) What does make me sad is that many girls start to abandon all their sports around a certain age due to periods (and also becoming increasingly body conscious) and I think it's such a shame that it becomes another barrier to accessing sport and fitness.
Yes, in my experience this is the main kind of pressure.

I always had very heavy periods and even if I put up with the real discomfort of a tampon, they didn't work, they'd bleed right through in large amounts. There was no way I was going to risk that in gym or swimming.

It was very much insisted on in things like swim team that you could not miss meets or practices and so must use a tampon, even if you were quite young. And similarly for dance. The whole "modern girls can play sports and swim without worrying about menstruation" was very much implied in that insistence, and that you were some kind of wimp or idiot f you didn't want to. There was zero acknowledgement ever that some girls might not be able to.

I suspect this is something that girls who found tampons easy just didn't notice.

LunaNorth · 07/12/2020 14:39

I know what you mean, OP. Tampax were seen as the ‘trendy’ thing to use - all the ads featuring roller-skating women in tiny white shorts help give the impression that pad users were sitting at home, bleeding miserably while everyone else had adventures.

The only adventure tampons ever gave me was a trip to the doctors to sort out UTIs.

MrsMigginsMate · 07/12/2020 14:47

My PE teacher would pressure all the girls to wear tampons so they could do swimming lessons on their period. She refused to accept that we didn't like using them, I've always found them painful, the string rubs and chafes and the damn things always leak despite trying many different sizes and styles. So I do agree with OP that people can be very unsympathetic to those of us who don't find them comfortable and there is some pressure to conform when you're young and wear tampons.

As an aside, tampons would NOT have done any good on a swimming lesson with my heavy flow, I would be leaving a trail of red behind me in the pool!!

Spybot · 07/12/2020 15:32

I agree with OP. I think there was an embarrassment about pads or towels at school, although that was a long time ago.

I also remember my paranoia at work of people being able to see my pad through my trousers. However I have never been a big user of tampons due to the risk of TSS and I really only used them for swimming.

My daughter started her periods recently and she was upset that she couldn't swim and was conscious about wearing a pad in her ballet gear. I gave her a couple of tampons but did say that if it was too overwhelming to try them , then not to bother with it right now. She was not ready to try them yet and I completely understand.

I would say that things have improved re the stigma around periods, My daughter and her friends seem pretty matter of fact about it and I think her teachers are much more sensitive to it than they were in my day.

I had a work mate who once said to me that he though sanitary towels were the most unsexy thing ever and they were gross. I can't remember my response, I think I rolled my eyes!

QuestionableMouse · 07/12/2020 15:38

I'm in charge of refilling the supplies at work, and the tampons do get used more quickly then the pads.

ancientgran · 07/12/2020 15:38

I don't think I ever discussed what I used with anyone and I'm sure no one ever told me what they used. It's not really a talking point is it.

I've used both, bought whatever I felt like buying. After some particularly nasty stitches after a forceps birth of 10lb + baby tampons weren't comfortable so I never used them again. They might have been more comfortable after time but I didn't bother trying.

EBearhug · 07/12/2020 15:53

I had a work mate who once said to me that he though sanitary towels were the most unsexy thing ever and they were gross. I can't remember my response, I think I rolled my eyes!

How is what he thinks in the slightest bit relevant?

Somethingkindaoooo · 07/12/2020 15:59

Bust surely it's no ones business what you use?

Not offering the information is an option tooo

squeekums · 07/12/2020 15:59

I think there should be more pressure to scrap disposable sanpro of any variety, really
Screw that, I have no desire to wash pads or play with cups. Why make less choice for women and in turn make more work and less convienence for us.

As for the OP, tampons only here, pads just feel odd to me, don't like it, think they can be seen, too damp feeling.
Tampons were seen as the done thing when I was in school, pads for emergency or first, 2nd time kind of thing.
I personally don't care what people use, just don't preach to me the supposed wonders of reusable, I don't give a shit lol

LindaEllen · 07/12/2020 16:04

You can use whatever you like when menstruating, the only reason it's better for sports is because if you're heavy, it's horrible feeling the blood coming out while you're running. Tampons don't have that aspect, so long as you change them often enough.

If they're not comfortable for you that's fine, but for me, they changed my life completely. I used to bleed through multiple pads, so had to change them more often than normal people, and a super plus tampon allowed me to get through until lunch time without worrying about leaks, and without really noticing that I was on my period at all unless I had cramps.

For me, tampons are perfect.

For others, pads are perferable.

I'm not sure that anyone 'shames' what you choose to use.

JustDanceAddict · 07/12/2020 16:07

Not really, but I always hated pads and was so relieved when I finally managed to insert a tampon. Never looked back.
My DD hasn’t used tampons yet, the only issue is swimming on holiday. After a couple of tries in hotel toilets we abandoned that idea...
I know women who never got on w tampons, so if you accept that you may not be able to swim on your period then it’s a choice or necessity thing.

Skysblue · 07/12/2020 16:11

Yanbu to think there is pressure to use tampons instead of pads - I used tampons before ever using pads and I certainly felt that pressure, mostly from tampon adverts on tv. I do think it’s weird that young girls are encouraged to shove something up there when it’s so much less hygenic than a pad. I found inserting tampons painful unless I thought about guys that I fancied - so I guess my first sexual experiences were with a tampon. Kinda messed up.

Than said yabvu to get to the age of 26 before resisting that pressure and making your own decision. Only took me a few months of ysing tampons before I bought some pads, decided I preferred them and off I went. Did you have no money of your own until now OP?!

frogswimming · 07/12/2020 16:12

What? I've literally never had a conversation about this with anyone! Yabu.

CharitySchmarity · 07/12/2020 16:13

I've never liked tampons, but before I had children I would use them for a couple of hours to go swimming. After children they never seemed to be completely leakproof, but I'm cautiously hoping I might be finished with periods now. I never had any problem with people knowing I preferred pads and if anyone ever had criticised me, I think I would have said something like "that's OK, we don't all have to like the same things."

I also prefer thicker pads but I usually seem to be the only one who does. No matter - if I do ever need them again I will use exactly what I like.

AccidentallyOnPurpose · 07/12/2020 16:19

I think there should be more pressure to scrap disposable sanpro of any variety, really.

How about no?

Less choice for women and girls is. never the answer. If they are that great the shift will happen eventually in a natural way for the majority and less women will use pads or tampons. But there should be a choice.

What if I wanted everyone to use tampons because that's my preferred choice?