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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think stop shaming sanitary pads!

231 replies

BooFuckingHoo2 · 06/12/2020 23:44

I’ll call eat this by saying I have ASD.

From high school for me it was encouraged by teachers (PE) to “use tampons”. So from 12 I used tampons (painfully) because sanitary towels were considered “gross” or girls were worried they could be seen under their PE kit.

This carried on with “friends” causally by them being like ew who used pads.

I was twenty fucking six until I dared use a pad because I had a bad UTI and by god the relief was immense, no longer having to reluctantly shove things up myself. It’s not like “wearing a nappy” at all.

AIBU to think there’s a social pressure to use tampons?

OP posts:
cologne4711 · 07/12/2020 08:15

@HoppingPavlova

The only pad hate I’ve ever come across has been on forums like this with eco-warriors claiming anyone who uses them is the spawn of the devil and pushing mooncups.
Yes. I don't think the pressure is to use tampons, but there is massive pressure on women - we are single handedly blamed for climate change and landfill because we dare to use disposable products. I do other things for the planet like not doing loads of long haul flights and driving an SUV but I am not faffing around with mooncups (which leak for me anyway). If I were younger I might buy reusables, but at my age I kind of hope every month that it's going to be the last one!

As for tampons, I didn't use them until after I had had my son (at 30) and only for swimming, I just couldn't get them in.

Why can't you wear a pad for riding or rock climbing?

SoupDragon · 07/12/2020 08:16

On MN i heard (read) derogatory comments about pads (not from an envitonmental point, but more like ew it's a nappy, you must smell, the noise and crackle of changing it, how shameful sort of comments).

On MN? The only time I have ever seen someone say that a pad smells is when complaining about scented pads.

alliejay81 · 07/12/2020 08:16

I use pads. I really don't get on with tampons at all and never have. I've never been shamed for it, but have always felt a bit embarrassed about it. At school it was definitely more sophisticated to use tampons but there was definitely no teasing!

HunterHearstHelmsley · 07/12/2020 08:18

I generally use tampons. I don't think towels are disgusting, I just find them uncomfortable.

I know whenever I've been asked to lend someone something, they tend to prefer/expect a towel.

When I worked in admin, I had a drawer full of various sanitary products. There wasn't a shop near the office so if you came on unexpectedly you'd be stuffed. It was pretty evenly split in what people wanted.

ThatIsNotMyUsername · 07/12/2020 08:19

I have never heard this either.

NoDontDoIt · 07/12/2020 08:21

Never used a tampon, if anything i think the pressure was the other way round, tampons being for older women used to things being up there!!!

Yerroblemom1923 · 07/12/2020 08:29

I think now there's more pressure to move to reusable/ecofriendly rather than towels vs tampons. I think that yes, towels are seen as what a girl starts with initially, but then if she wants to swim, wear tight jeans/ leggings etc then it makes sense to move on to something that makes life easier. I appreciate towels are nowhere near as bulky as they used to be, but I hated playing netball back in the day of ridiculously short skirts and we weren't allowed to wear shorts, leggings, tracksuit bottoms etc just out knickers - so you were forever conscious of anyone seeing or leaking etc.
I think it's great that there is more choice these days and my dd is interested in trying period pants when she starts her periods. She's only 12 and still quite horrified at the idea of tampons. I've always used them and have explained it doesn't hurt, means you can still go swimming (she's v sporty), is hygienic as blood is removed at source,
makes your period shorter and really isn't the icky thing she clearly imagines it is!
I agree with a pp that back in the day tampons were thought immoral due to the potential to break one's hymen thus rendering her "no longer a virgin"! I think we've moved on from there.

randomsabreuse · 07/12/2020 08:29

I have found pads can chafe riding unless pants are a perfect fit. Riding a bike I don't wear pants because pants seem to chafe even on their own, so would not contemplate a pad, although suspect my own saddle would prevent that problem.

Rock climbing is more risk of extreme stretch/contortions shifting the pad

Brunt0n · 07/12/2020 08:31

I used a tampon for the first time recently at 31, out of necessity to take my toddler swimming. I won’t start using them regularly, agree pads are much more comfortable for me, but it’s good to have the option. I can’t say I’ve ever felt pressure at school or uni or any time since, to use tampons. I’m sorry you experienced that, that’s really shit

NotImpossible · 07/12/2020 08:31

Never seen or heard this before. I only ever used tampons very rarely - mostly for convenience (swimming etc) and never felt any pressure.

hellejuice91 · 07/12/2020 08:31

I never felt pressure to use tampons...until I got my first boyfriend at 17 who had exactly the attitude described by the OP. He thought pads were gross etc and so I also struggle with tampons. Even though we were only together a few months his words stayed with me for years after and it was 2 or 3 years ago when I went back to pads.

Nottherealslimshady · 07/12/2020 08:35

I have no idea what any female in my life uses. I've never felt pressure to use tampons. But I find pads insanely uncomfortable and they give me an horrendous rash.

ZenNudist · 07/12/2020 08:35

I'm 42 and always used pads. I find tampons uncomfortable. I dont talk sanpro with anyone so maybe that's why it's never been a problem. They still sell towels. Lots of them. So people must use them. I think maybe you have some odd friends to shame you over this.

IntermittentParps · 07/12/2020 08:39

I've never found there was particular pressure. Unfortunately, at my school periods were used to shame the unpopular girls (like me) whatever you did or used. Likewise, the popular girls could do and use what they wanted.

As an adult I find no one cares.

Tamingofthehamster · 07/12/2020 08:39

I’m just jealous that all of you have the vin option of just using one or the other. Ever since I was a teen I’ve had to use both together to avoid leaks (and I did change them frequently). I’ve been using mooncup and pads for the last 12 years which is the best combination for me, before then it was super tampons and pads.

JinglingHellsBells · 07/12/2020 08:42

I agree with the OP that there was most definitely an attitude to pads but that was decades ago when I was at school in the late 1960s. I think we as women were encouraged to use tampons so we could go swimming, do sport and be emancipated! This was the bra-burning era.

My mum offered me my first san pro kit which was a ghastly elastic belt with suspender type things and you hooked this huge pillow of a pad to it. It was basically cotton wool with a gauze cover and your hair got trapped to it.

Given that as an option, plus carrying a huge pad(s) around school in your bag most of my friends moved to tampons as soon as they could - I did at around 14, a year after pads, though in between I had uses a special pair of knickers that had a pocket for the pad, to get rid of the ghastly belt.

I found tampons harder after DC2 as I had a slight prolapse.
Now, I'm still bleeding on the type of HRT I use and I have gone back to pads but I don't like them. I'm frightened of leaking, especially at night, but tampons aren't that comfortable and I also find they made the cramps worse - a kind of dragging feeling.

ClaireP20 · 07/12/2020 08:44

I have always thought there was a pressure amongst some young girls to use sanitary towels instead of tampons, at least that was my experience. I had a mum who thought using tampons was like you losing your virginity. Never actually said that, but she used to say 'don't use tampons because they go inside you'. I have a horrible memory of going dancing aged 12 with a leotard and one of my mums massive pads on. Of course everyone could see it. In fact, government drive to help girls get free sanitary wear is a great thing, because then I could have got my own instead of wearing my mum's bloody tenna ladies....xx

Suzi888 · 07/12/2020 08:48

Confused why does anyone need to know what you have in your pants. I’ve never felt pressure and couldn’t give a rat’s behind what anyone is using!
Hate tampons, only use towels. Awful you have felt this pressure OP!

wildraisins · 07/12/2020 08:52

I thought this post was going to be about environmental reasons for shaming sanitary pads.

I've never felt "shamed" as such but I have sometimes felt like it was the norm to use tampons, and I never really got on with them. Like if I was caught short people would only have tampons to lend.

I've never been that bothered though. I would just use a tampon when swimming etc and a pad the rest of the time - nobody knows anyway apart from potentially your other half and if they care then you're with the wrong person!

Your school sounds really rough OP. Sorry you had that experience. I hope now you feel more free to do what you want!

OhMsBeliever · 07/12/2020 08:52

I felt the same sort of pressure that I wasn't doing it right as I didn't wear tampons. I'm not sure if there was any criticism or it was just what I perceived. I have been diagnosed with autism this year and now wonder if sensory issues are the cause of me not being able to use tampons.

For me I always felt I must be doing it wrong/something was wrong with me as I was always told you can't feel them when you've put them in and I could, and it was very uncomfortable.

So I've always stuck with pads but been embarrassed about it as I thought I was to blame in some way for not being able to do yet another thing other women find easy.

I tried a mooncup for a while too but had the same trouble.

WunWun · 07/12/2020 08:53

I remember swimming teachers commenting on this, but I never felt any pressure to do as they said.

bellinisurge · 07/12/2020 08:59

I'm post periods. My dd started about a year ago. Absolutely no pressure experienced whatsoever. Dd uses reusable pads and Modibodi/Wuka knickers by her own choice.

Sorry you have experienced pressure, op. That's rubbish.

Coffeeeeandcake · 07/12/2020 09:06

No pressure here, I use both depending on flow and what I’m doing. In fact, my mother tried to prevent me from using tampons when I was in my teens Confused

SchadenfreudePersonified · 07/12/2020 09:13

@PleaseLetIanBeDead

Always used pads.

Never been pressurised

This, as above.

Most of the girls I knew used tampons. I tried them and didn't find them comfortable, so I went back toads.

No-one pressured or shamed me for it.

rc22 · 07/12/2020 09:21

I use sanitary towels. I use tampons if I want to go swimming. I've never felt any pressure to exclusively use tampons.