Should I be bothered that MIL offered DIL man's coat that would have fitted my DH?

[being40]

I've posted before about how MIL didn't tell us she planned to move in with SIL and giving her £500k in the process so I'm a bit sensitive to things.
Today SIL turns up with MIL to do a socially distanced birthday with DH - SIL who has put in some weight during lockdown (she bought a peloton but didn't use it - or rather MIL's money bought the peloton) turns up in a massive coat.
It was my dad's she says.
This coat would have fitted DH - as in her brother his son.
I check the coat - it looks quite new (he passed away 2 years ago this week) and it says North Face.
Online these coats cost £300 - am I right to be annoyed for my DH. Tell me I'm just being unreasonable and bothering about nothing.
I've got enough work/study/housework and two children to worry about!

@OverTheRainbow88

Why is SIL getting 500k?

Is she manipulative?

They used the money to extend SIL's house to provide long term care for her Mother....

I think its a case of the green eyed monster, you're married into the family. You have no claim to her money. If you're dh has concerns thats up to him to address it but as a inlaw you have no right to comment. I would be furious if I gifted one of my children an item of clothing from their late father and my other child's wife was furious over the matter. As someones stated he passed away 2 years ago.you sound like vultures.

@OverTheRainbow88

Why is SIL getting 500k?

Is she manipulative?

It’s to allow the mother to move in.

The SIL will likely earn every penny and more of that when she becomes her mother’s full time carer.

Money causes such fights in families.

Tread carefully, and don’t go in all guns blazing fighting your husbands fight.

Your husband up doesn’t have any rights to his mothers money, not does his sister. You absolutely do not.

If your husband is upset about money, he needs to talk to his mother like an adult.

@Whatthebloodyell

Do you need a penis to wear this expensive coat?

🤣🤣🤣

Some people really need to think and stop pretending to not understand. It doesn't make the poster look unreasonable it makes you look thick.

The OP feels that the SIL is getting so much and the M favours her so much she would even give her a man's coat. It is almost irrelevant whether it is dead daddy's coat or a new one it is a reminder if SIL being the favoured child.

petty and bitchy, esp about sil's weight and not using the peloton bike.
this is all about money, it smacks of jealosly and nothing else no matter how it's dressed up [no pun intended].

You mil gave a coat to her daughter that was her dads and you have the arse because it would of fitted your DH?

If so, take a step back. Breathe. It's not an issue.

Unless your DH thinks it is.

There must be more to this. If not, I'm sorry for you kids but I think you are being unreasonable here.

The OP feels that the SIL is getting so much and the M favours her so much she would even give her a man's coat.

It’s none of OP’s business. And North Face coats are pretty unisex, I slip the bloke’s on if it’s closest to hand.

Dont worry @being40, my gran did the same to my dad, my aunt started assaulting her and lived out her days in the garage converted to a bedroom.

We left them to it after spending a few thousand on legal fees trying to get her out the shit.

You wanted a dead persons coat sold and the proceeds split. Yes you sound crazy sorry

I think you just need to accept what’s gone on and move on

That said you don’t have to engage, just leave it to your DH and if sil approaches in the future for help the answers no

I find it creepy that you are fighting over a coat belonging to a man who has died. There is obviously a back story, but this part of the story is all wrong. I would 100% be sad if my parents favoured my siblings over me in a will (unless there was a clear reason for doing so) but, I would never dream of worrying about a coat when I could afford my own.

YABVU. It’s none of your business, just like the 500k was none of your business either.

The OP feels that the SIL is getting so much and the M favours her so much she would even give her a man's coat. It is almost irrelevant whether it is dead daddy's coat or a new one it is a reminder if SIL being the favoured child.

Well maybe cause the SIL will be her full time carer, so why shouldnt she be rewarded.

Im reading the op want to know the ins and outs of somebody elses business.

Normally im in the camp everything should be equal,but in this case its not.So its only fair teh sil gets the bit extra.

@MrsSpenserGregson

The responses on this thread are really, really strange.

The MIL has given her daughter HALF A MILLION POUNDS. Her son (OP's DH) has been given NOTHING.

Of course they are pissed off!!!

The MIL has moved into the SIL's house. Probably for the rest of her life. She's not just given her half a million pounds. Would the OP take the MIL into her house? -Maybe, for the cash payment.-

It's not jealousy, it's unfairness and it hurts. The cost will be the tip of the iceberg. DH has experienced similar over the years with SIL getting a £10k house deposit and all her wedding paid for and him getting nothing. Blatant favouritism.
I get you OP. YANBU.

YABU - your sil has to lie or justify her own mother buying her a coat?
wtf does it have to do with you.
As for moving in with sil, it sounds as though sil will be her mums housemate and eventually her carer, thats 5k worth of work in any money.

It's not jealousy, it's unfairness and it hurts. The cost will be the tip of the iceberg. DH has experienced similar over the years with SIL getting a £10k house deposit and all her wedding paid for and him getting nothing. Blatant favouritism.

Unless the op wants to become her mils carer then SIL deserves that money.

Reads to me the op wants the money but none of the caring duties.

Yabu, the coat has been gathering dust for 2 years, if your dh (or you) wanted it so badly you could have asked mil. Googling the tag and price is just petty.

I could buy him several North Face coats

Then you already know yabu

YABU..... get a grip, really.

What sort of parent allows their DC to become their 'carer'? Let alone give them half a million pounds for it.
Would be interesting to know the balance of childcare given by MIL over the years.

Hi Op
I can see two sides to this situation
Obviously its up to mother in law what she does her husband who has passed away Coat.

Op
I don't think you are being petty,(I think you may be a bit envious,fed up,with the Blatant favoritism Shown by MIL towards SIL, (which is hardly susprising/understandable so.
You are human after all.

Easy for some Posters to be judgemental,as totally far removed it, but if it was happening to either of them, I bet few/some of them,would feel different about their view points.
Some/few of Posters are hyprocites

Money isnt everything,Rise above it ,don't let Showy,materlistic shallow mother/sister in Law irritate/ get under your skin so much..

Does mother in Law help you in other ways such as practical way for e.g baby sitting or etc then?.

Op
I also think some of the Posters here, come from middle class/ very money posh backgrounds so being giving such massive amount of money by a family member/having hand me downs costing a few hundred,seems quite normal to them.
They take it for granted,where as a lot of people have to borrow a loan from bank,scrimp/save etc,to acquire that sort of amount of money (500k).

So reading btwn lines reaction wise from some Posters they see your viewpoint as a attack,negative reaction on their kind of life style choices /upbringing possible..

thosetales I come from a back ground where I've had to work hard. My IL were lucky to have my FIL whose work ethic has paid for MIL and SIL to have a very good life. I'm jealous because SIL doesn't rwork and all the stress I get with that.
But my DH is a kind man and I don't want him to be taken advantage of - thank you for your understanding.
I think I am being a bit unreasonable and I don't know how I will resolve it.