Should I be bothered that MIL offered DIL man's coat that would have fitted my DH?

[being40]

I've posted before about how MIL didn't tell us she planned to move in with SIL and giving her £500k in the process so I'm a bit sensitive to things.
Today SIL turns up with MIL to do a socially distanced birthday with DH - SIL who has put in some weight during lockdown (she bought a peloton but didn't use it - or rather MIL's money bought the peloton) turns up in a massive coat.
It was my dad's she says.
This coat would have fitted DH - as in her brother his son.
I check the coat - it looks quite new (he passed away 2 years ago this week) and it says North Face.
Online these coats cost £300 - am I right to be annoyed for my DH. Tell me I'm just being unreasonable and bothering about nothing.
I've got enough work/study/housework and two children to worry about!

Get a better job and buy your husband a better coat. Problem solved.

This isn't about the £300 coat but the £500k, I'm guessing. You need to take a step back for your own sake. If your DH has an issue with the money given to his sister - in whatever form, he can address it.

YABU to keep score like this, it will eat you up.

@flaviaritt

You think your DH had a right to this coat that your SIL didn’t have? Why?

Because the coat belonged to his father? If MIL had bought SIL a new coat it would have been different. It sounds like SIL is getting everything that belonged to their father, including but not limited too, all MILs money. I can understand OP being angry on her husband's account. My father worked all during secondary school to save money for college. When he graduated his parents gave him a new pair of shoes, a Bible, and $50. He then got on a bus, went off to college, and held down two jobs...one for rent and one for tuition. His sister had riding lessons, music lessons, driving lessons and lots of school trips. When she graduated she got a car and then a wedding paid for.

Because the coat belonged to his father?

It belonged to her father as well. The money thing sounds difficult, but the SIL had every right to take an old coat belonging to her dad with her mum’s permission.

That is pettiness to the extreme and coats don't have genders...

To answer your question, no you shouldn’t be bothered. Grow up.

Why are you bitter about MIL moving in with SIL and giving her money? She isnt your mother and if anyone should be upset about the large cash gift it should be your DH. Who I would have assumed spoke to his mother about feeling upset? As for the coat, North Face coats are unisex and why wouldnt SIL want to wear her fathers coat.

Have you got kids OP?

If so; imagine - your kids are adults, your DH has passed away and you one day one of those kids has put on weight so you give them one of your DHs old coats.

The other adults kids partner gets the hump about it.

I mean - come on OP. It's not your business. You're being a trouble monger.

Its a coat - handing you a grip

Does your husband need a coat maybe sil needed one as others no longer fit due to weight gain.

What a surprise - people on here being disingenuously obtuse. How very tiresome.

I can see why this would piss you off OP, it’s the 500K thing that’s making you react this way. Did you ever speak to you MIL about that issue?

If it’s a north face coat they’re fairly unisex. Why shouldn’t she give it to her daughter if she needs it?

We had something with dh's family where one of the dil reacted similarly.
One of his brothers was wearing something and is asked where he got it from. He says it was grandads and grandma give it to me.
Quick as a flash one of the dil turns to her dh and demands "why weren't you offered it first".
I will note they received something more valuable a couple of years earlier which they sold and used the money to buy another ("we didn't really like the design")

They are incredibly grabby-as others have said here they wouldn't have worried if it hadn't been valuable whereas the brother who got it wanted it because it had been their grandads.

By socially distanced do you mean outdoors?

If so she's probably not inherited the coat, but just needed a warm coat (which a North Face one will be) for an outdoor catch up in December.

I've posted before about how MIL didn't tell us she planned to move in with SIL and giving her £500k in the process so I'm a bit sensitive to things.

Is the money payment for moving in with her? How old is your MIL? Does she see this as a retirement plan? Could be the money is payment for that. If SIL ends up being her carer, she will probably earn every penny.

I get that it can be hard seeing siblings treated differently, but I'd try to think that the same treatment isn't necessarily fair treatment. Try to get a bit of distance and support your husband if he's upset, but don't get too wound up on his behalf as it won't help the situation.

I think previous issues are clouding your thoughts on this one.

I understand what you mean though - if this had happened in my family my mum is the type that would moan about it so I can see where you're coming from especially with the background.

But I think that at the end of the day it's a coat, and your DH may not have wanted it anyway so I think it's a non issue.

I would maybe take a step back from them and when things like this happen in future ask yourself, does this affect me personally? And will this matter in a years time? If the answer is no to either of those questions then just take a breath and try and forget about it.

I often wondered if these awful in laws are real. And you are😂.

It is absolutely none of your businesses. It’s her dads coat. Stay out of it.

And stop obsessing over getting your hands on their money.

You seem a trifle obsessed with money and your sil. Life isn't fair, it's not a contest and your Mil can give her children what she wants and to which child she chooses.

YABU OP.......... you sound bitter and silly.

This has to be one of the most bitchy posts I've seen. Please reread it back do you realise how awful it sounds. She's gained weight most likely self conscious about it and her mother gave her her late father's coat. Its astonishing you went to the lengths to find out the brand and Google the cost of the coat. I think I remember youre thread she moved in with sil so she could provide her care and the money was to adapt and extend the house to meet her care needs?

This isn't really about the coat is it?

No part of me understands why this would bother you.

I know you are annoyed about the money situation but as others have said it is none of your business. Your mother-in-law can do what she likes with her money. Also, mentioning on here that your sister in law has put weight on is nasty and petty. Your sister in law knows she has put weight on that is why she is wearing a large coat. You ARE being unreasonable and others have said it is the money that is clouding your judgement. Move on...

@Amira19

This has to be one of the most bitchy posts I've seen. Please reread it back do you realise how awful it sounds. She's gained weight most likely self conscious about it and her mother gave her her late father's coat. Its astonishing you went to the lengths to find out the brand and Google the cost of the coat. I think I remember youre thread she moved in with sil so she could provide her care and the money was to adapt and extend the house to meet her care needs?

Was it? The OP would probably rather £2k a week was going on care home fees.

Mil can do what she likes with her money and her deceased husbands clothes (if left to her in will) YABU and petty.