'Good looking' gets away with far more shit behaviour.

[Trickyboy]

Just that really ... AIBU to think that 'good looks' be they male or female enable the holder of such a lucky chance in life to get away with so much more shit behaviour than those of us who are not so .. 'gifted' ..

sorry I name changed for a different thread & couldn't be bothered to switch back.

Attractive men do well, get promoted, get away with stuff.

Who promotes them and lets them get away with stuff? Women?

@wozzeree

Why on earth should you have to "duck for cover" but reality is, you do

I think this is a hard one to quantify after all let's not forget Samantha Brick.

Oh yes Samantha “other women hate me because I’m beautiful” Brick...

Not sure attractiveness always helps in the job market.

www.nytimes.com/2019/04/23/business/beauty-women-careers.html

careers.workopolis.com/advice/what-to-do-if-youre-too-attractive-to-get-hired/

Most of us by definition are average, and that’s probably a good place to be.

Yes and it starts really young.

My DS1 was an odd looking child (a handsome young man now imho, but strangely out of proportion when little) whereas DS2 was cuteness personified.

The difference in the way teachers and other adults dealt with their misdemeanours was shocking. DS1 was naughty, whereas DS2 was mischievous, for the same behaviour.

Glad you clarified @baffledfornow, I was confused 😂

80s90s & earlier 2000 were my time, so there would have been a cross over time wise. I was in the manufacturing side though, usually design/development & I often had to go to buyers meeting etc & I didn't have any of the bitchiness there & my looks probably did help me to be treat well in meetings, be remembered & asked back etc etc.
The only difference to the way you describe yourself is that I had a very small waist, so maybe more hour glass, maybe that made the difference or maybe hair, in that I had very long blonde hair, whatever the was, it definitely got me a lot of grief

Sorry I just do it out of habit if I've been on a fair few threads &/or it's been a few days ever since that data breach. However I constantly get confused so probably not protecting my privacy!

I worked in mags for a bit & then buying for a decade but that was in the 00s after uni.

I had typical model stats & just under 5ft 10) but was a bit big for heroin chic although I defo veered towards lanky in structure, short torso, long limbs. I'm bigger now, size 12.
I do have very feminine hair, it's pretty much exactly the same as Gisele's both natural colour & dyed colour so not naturally blonde. Actually it's the one thing I get the most compliments on. I've had pretty much the same friends since school & Im distinctly average compared to some of my model friends, some minor celeb interest but I think they put it out to anything! Maybe i'm not actually that good looking! 😆

I was quite pretty back in the day and I noticed people would always try and do things for me and I could get away with things. I'm now alot older and overweight and miss that ' mystic power' I used to somehow have.

@CutToChase

I think I'm a good looking girl, I usually dress like a dosser but on the very rare occasions I dress nicely and do my hair my mind has been blown by the difference in treatment. Cars stopping more to let me cross, doors held open, smiles, faster service. Not just men, women too. It's quite sad really.

Yes, regardless of looks, I've noticed that I'm treated better when dressed smartly than when I'm in wellies and old jeans, walking the dog. There's more superficial respect for smart people, male or female.

There's more superficial respect for smart people, male or female.

This seems to be about more than how you look though. My dad once visited me at work and when the receptionist came to tell me I had a visitor she said "there's a very respectable looking man here to see you". This was in a bank where we mostly dealt with mid to high net worth customers. My dad would have been tidy but dressed entirely in M&S.

I was considered a very pretty young woman and HATED the endless awfulness of unwanted male attention that came with it and LOVE being invisible to the male faze now I'm post menopausal with short grey hair.

@BecomeStronger

There's more superficial respect for smart people, male or female.

This seems to be about more than how you look though. My dad once visited me at work and when the receptionist came to tell me I had a visitor she said "there's a very respectable looking man here to see you". This was in a bank where we mostly dealt with mid to high net worth customers. My dad would have been tidy but dressed entirely in M&S.

Is that not to do with behaviour, too, though? I think being superlatively polite, and communicating well and confidently, gain respect. It's not necessarily just about looks.

Gaze not faze

I'm sorry but I don't really like threads like these. I'd probably hate them less if it wasn't for the fact that people often make their opinions about others on nothing other than extremely shallow observations.

I wouldn't class myself as beautiful by any stretch but I have been described as good looking/attractive. You want to know my experience? It's true that I have enjoyed a moderate amount of attention in my life. Nothing crazy but it was there.
It's also true that I have had an insurmountable amount of shit coming my way.

Many times the people in my life definitely acted like as if they took a stance of ''she must have had an easy life and I bet that she gets away with murder''. ''Look at her looking like that and getting on with everyone. She needs bringing down a peg or two''. The worst one would be ''What does it matter if I hurt her feelings.. she has a nice car/looks/male attention. She'll be alright''.

Whichever way you want to look at it it can't be denied that being 'good looking' can bring about some of the most toxic behaviours in others. Anyone who possesses the kind of beliefs I've described above simply doesn't understand how mental health works.

And honestly, sometimes I almost wish I was even much much better looking to make it all actually something like worth it.

Sounds awful for you, @ChickNorris...

Thanks, @Eckhart.

There have been experiments done on Tinder setting up profiles with conventionally very attractive photos and identical profiles with conventionally unnactractive photos. Although the attractive profiles got more hits, the biggest difference was in the way people interacted with them. So very often the same man would send a sweet/romantic message to the attractive profile about how they would love to date etc, looking for someone long tern and a much more sexually explicit message to the unnactractive profile. So obviously you get treated better if you seem attractive. But given any man who acts like that is a dick maybe its better to be less attractive and find that out earlier than actually risk being fooled into sleeping with them.

@ChickNorris from the perpective of people that think male attention/approval is the be all and end all, then you do have an easy life. Those people are idiots but sadly common. But people can be very odd about the things they are jealous of. I am not particularly stunning (well I think I am but not everyone agrees) but I was horribly horribly bullied when I was younger by another girl. It turns out that she was genuinely jealous of how I looked - I think she was unhappy about particular aspects of her own appearance and fixated on me because some of my features happened to be the opposite I think. The odd thing was there as nothing wrong with her face at all. It was just her godawful personality she shpuld have worried about.

It's a yes from me!

I read somewhere that some men are more likely to have unprotected sex with an attractive female because they believe the more attractive a woman is the less likely she is to have an std 😐

Interesting thread. I'm afraid I agree that the good looking get a (mostly) easier ride in life.

My youngest child is very good looking. Countless comments. He has ASD so, quite frankly, I'm glad. The odds are stacked against him enough as it is.

@yetanothernamitynamechange

Quite. I guess we all have our subjective experiences and focus on what we think we're lacking. It's just a shame that of all the things a person could be we choose to focus on looks.

The thing that I find ironic is that if my bullies realized that if they can have this reaction to me, so can others (and they did). It might have blown their theories about good looks being 'the one ticket to a perfect life' out of the water. I absolutely can't sit here and say that good looks are a drawback but... yeah.
I could go on but I'd only end up winding myself up so I'll stop.

I think so.

I know a man in his 40s, beautiful looking , total twat, treats women however he likes then jollily moves into the next - as there are always many waiting who know exactly what he's like ! Speaking from bitter experience

@joystir59 I totally agree that male 'attention' is no loss. Maybe if I was looking for a partner I'd feel differently, but it isn't a benefit to be noticed by strangers in the street or to be judged on ones looks in the workplace. If the people you love think you're lovely, what the rest of the world thinks doesn't matter at all.