'Good looking' gets away with far more shit behaviour.

[Trickyboy]

Just that really ... AIBU to think that 'good looks' be they male or female enable the holder of such a lucky chance in life to get away with so much more shit behaviour than those of us who are not so .. 'gifted' ..

Definitely

Ted Bundy absolutely not attractive imo. But they say it's subjective don't they?

E.g I'm not influenced by cliches like 'tall and dark' it's more than that, so much more.



Personally I think it works both ways, you win & lose.
Yes you might be right good looks opens more doors, but it will also get you enemies just from walking into a room & harassment too.

Also I imagine it's harder to leave relationships with good looking people, and there's a natural instinct to put up with worse behaviour.

Hell no. I once went out with one guy who was incredibly good looking for a while. Heads literally turned when he walked down the street & women threw themselves at him in front of me. Sadly he didn't get a personality to go with it & it wasn't at all difficult walking away as we were just not suited

Oh the one hand I think yes but then beauty is in the eye of the beholder so one persons good looking is another's distinctly average.

Yes 100%. Day-to-day, people are much nicer on fresh faced days than rough days.

I used to be very pretty when young and noticed that people would treat other people much more harshly than me and the only outward difference was looks. I don't think people get as angry with good looking people either. They want to give good looking people more, make them smile, etc. It's like casting a spell.

I'm genetically attractive & used to model however plenty of men wouldn't look twice at me so no one appeals to all. I would say I find making friends, interviews quite easy & find most people are positive to me but then I pretty positive, easy going & open to things person.

very attractive people can seem quite ugly if they have rubbish personalities.

Yep I knew so many very attractive men through modelling who would leave me cold because they were so bloody boring.

genetically
generically 😊

I see very few people who are actually " ugly." Older perhaps, or overweight or not conventionally attractive but very few " ugly" people.
I think verry attractive people get away with more but they are rare and stun us when we see them.

I think it’s more about their confidence: people either born “pretty”, and told that they are constantly, or their confidence makes them attractive, both to themselves and others.

I wonder if the outstandingly gorgeous actually know that they're outstandingly gorgeous? I mean, it's normal to be told you're good looking by your partner, because they find you attractive, but do gorgeous people get told they're outstandingly beautiful by other people? I've got a stunning friend and she has no idea. Beyond her sister always joking 'You're the good looking one, I got the brains!', I don't think she gets told she's beautiful by others.

I think this is definitely true and proved by research.
However I think it changes with age. I’m at the age now where women traditionally become ‘invisible.’ It has made little difference to my life as I have always been pretty plain. I have friends who have always turned heads who are now struggling with that invisibility.
Swings and roundabouts I suppose.

I was quite attractive when I was younger. However I was the manager to several woman who were older than me in my late 20’s and they were awful to me for no reason. They never accepted it because I had more experience in that area of work that I was their line manager. They always said things about my clothes, hair, complaining about my social life (I never discussed this with them, made bizarre assumptions) and complaining to my manager about irrelevant things. Luckily I had a very understanding boss who helped.
II’ll never treat anyone as they treated me. It’s definitely something that can be a double edged sword.

Oh 100%. My DH can be a massive PITA but hes ridiculously good looking (to me) with classic tall, dark handsome and muscly from physical work. Hes essentially a good husband and amazing father but hes absolutely infuriating with his messiness and laziness and not listening and when hes working away I often think WHY do I let him get away with A B C, its easier when hes not here. But when hes in front of me he only has to look at me and I melt into butter 🙈🙈🙈 so annoying!

I’ve been both waves

Ducks for cover I’m pretty. This is not my opinion I’m regularly told I am by people. Often in quite an accusatory way . Don’t get me wrong I’m not a 10/10 but I’m a solid 8/9 when I make an effort (never worn much make up so it’s quite natural).

However, I was also grossly overweight during my late teens and was on a weight loss journey until around 22. I looked very different and was maybe a 5/10 at most. I was working FT in an office so in the ‘real world’ and YES I can confirm there is a big difference between the way you’re treated.

I wouldn’t say it’s ‘how much you get away with’ it’s more people’s perception of you. Now I’m a slim trim size 8/10 who is stereotypically attractive people seem to like me more and go out of their way to talk to/befriend me. People seem to ‘want’ you to succeed more and everything is just more polished and pleasant.

It can work both ways though as some senior women make assumptions and ‘don’t like you’ before they meet you. There can be a real negative side to it.

Yes, definitely. I lost 4 stone a few years ago. I started taking better care of myself too (exercising, being more groomed, wearing nicer clothes etc).

I went from being ‘meh’ in the looks stakes to being attractive. The difference in the way I am treated is astounding. It still surprises me. My personality hasn’t changed but people are more willing to help me in shops, men particularly are more attentive, I’ve advanced professionally too. Though that could be due to increased confidence, I guess.

Absolutely. Think about a very attractive young man waiting outside of a woman’s house with a bunch of flowers to make a surprise. “Romantic”. Now think about the very unattractive one doing that. “Stalker”.

Also my multi nat office allows you to wear what you want (within reason) so you dress appropriately for your day. For me this is usually smart casual but almost also jeans involved.

I notice that most of the women around who aren’t ‘attractive’ lean much more toward business dress. I do wonder if this is because they feel more judged. I’ve had numerous comments along the lines of ‘must be nice to be able to wear anything and look great’ and ‘bet you’re spoilt for choice every morning’ kinda comments.

*almost always

@SirSamuelVimes

30 Rock covered this pretty well. The handsome bubble!

Thank you! This is hilarious!

I have noticed something quite funny in corona times, which is that I was heading a bit towards invisibility, and lately lots of guys in shops and generally have been saying hi to me. I think it's because I've got long light coloured hair, and with a mask on, they perceive me as younger and hotter than I actually would be if they saw the whole of my face (which is older). A couple of times, I've wondered who they are talking with!

I am also confident, assertive and approach people expecting them to help, so it's partly looking reasonably attractive and partly that if you have always had good experiences, you continue to expect them and it's a virtuous circle. I am not beautiful though, only ok looking with make-up on, but that seems to be enough.

I think there is a truth it it

But there are many factors that come into play how we interact how we speak how we dress so it’s not just about how good looking someone is

I think there are also different types of good looking, and that makes a difference. Women who are perceived as 'sexy' are treated very differently (and often worse) than women who are perceived as a wholesome kind of pretty - there's often a class element to this, too. I think when I was younger I fell into that kind of category of being attractive enough - I was told a lot that I was pretty, and I was slim and tall - but not in a way anyone found threatening, and I definitely think that does make life smoother. As an academic I noticed that older, male colleagues - often with a lot of power - ignored unattractive young women and disdained any who could be seen as brash/sexy, but were nice to me, which was gross but very obvious; as I said, there was also a very clear and horrible class element.